Page 116 of Heartbeat

“She would’ve been twenty-three,” she continued. “No doubt, a famous artist by now.”

I smiled, unable to avert my eyes from the screen.

“What about Liam?” she asked.

“Uh—” I cleared my throat, barely able to speak. “T-twenty-one. Almost.”

“How old were you? When he died?”

“I, uh—I’d just turned fifteen.”

“It’s like a chunk goes missing, isn’t it?” She tilted her head, letting her ponytail dangle in the air as she tried to catch my gaze.

I nodded, still staring at Rose. She looked kind, just like her sister.

“It doesn’t go away,” she told me. “It only…takes time. To understand.”

I turned to her curiously.

“For us to realize that it’s a good thing, not having it go away?” She teared up but didn’t try to hide it. “It’s their chunk. It wouldn’t be right to have it filled again, would it?” she whispered as if letting me in on a secret.

“Blake!” Sam called from across the room.

“Be right there!” she yelled back.

I slowly handed her back her phone as she gave me mine, and then she turned to walk away.

“Blake?” I called out quietly.

She looked back, smiling at me.

“Thank you.” I hoped she’d understand that I was also sorry for Rose.

She took a step forward and stood in front of me, leaned in, and gave me a kiss. “I’ve always wanted to kiss Kurt Cobain,” she said before disappearing into the crowded dining room that had become an improvised dance floor.

I stood there, staring at nothing in particular for what felt like the longest time.

“What’s wrong with you?”

I snapped out of my daze at hearing Marcy’s voice, shaking my head slightly before bringing her into focus.

“Lost in thought, I guess.”

“Well, snap out of it. You’re missing it.”

The house seemed to have shrunk in size. As I looked around, I couldn’t see any familiar faces except for hers.

“Cupid? Really?” I said, looking at her pink tutu skirt and top.

“I thought I might as well own it.” She shrugged.

“Well, it works. You look great.”

“Thanks, Kurt,” she said, turning her gaze to the far corner of the living room. “Now, what are we going to do about that?”

Noah was talking to a girl I assumed was Kim. She was a bit taller than him and dressed as a bunny. She looked absolutely smitten. He was, of course, completely gone.

“Remember looking like that?”

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