Page 106 of Surprised By Love

I couldn’t go in.

I looked a mess, and I wasn’t ready to face Josh when he came in for his morning coffee. It wouldn’t have mattered. Vicki told me he never showed up. So, I went in the next day, and he didn’t show up then either. He hasn’t been in all week.

He’s totally ghosted me, and I don’t know what to make of it.

A few days ago, his mom came by and hugged me so tight. She told me she’s not sure what was going on between us but that she knows I’m good for her son and to give him some time. That he’s stubborn, but she knows he cares about me. Of course, it made me cry again. I can’t stop… stupid hormones.

The only people know that I’m pregnant are my sisters and Tiffany.

I don’t want people to gang up on Josh and have him come back to me because of that. I want him to come back because he loves me. He hasn’t told me, but I can feel it. Or I used to. Not so sure anymore since he’s ignoring me.

I wanted to call him so many times, but my sisters told me not to. To let him come to me. I know they’re right, but it’s killing me.

My heart outweighs my common sense and my need to see him, so I take the long way home and walk past the police station.

I know it’s stupid. I’m on the other side of the street. He won’t know. I stop in my tracks as I get to the corner and peer into the station.

Josh is sitting at the front desk laughing at something.

I miss his smile. I miss everything about him.

Then I see it and I can’t believe it.

A brunette with blonde highlights walks up to his desk and props her hip on it.

What the hell?

I shake my head, not sure what I’m seeing. I want to go to him and have him explain, but he’s made himself perfectly clear. He hasn’t texted or called me in ten days. Maybe he needs more than just time.

I turn and head home… tears streaming down my cheek.

We go over to Becca’s for dinner, and we pass Josh’s house on the way home. Parked in the driveway beside his SUV is a grey sedan. I automatically wonder if it belongs to the girl who was at the station earlier.

I hate that I’m so jealous and I don’t want to believe it, but I need to realize it’s over.

Somehow, I need to get the courage to talk to him and see if he wants to be a part of the baby’s life so we can co-parent.

I know his parents will want to be involved, and I want them to be.

I take a deep breath and look in the rear-view mirror to see Amelia fast asleep. Amelia doesn’t have any grandparents and I don’t want this baby to grow up the same way.

Josh

I’m a jerk. I know it. Everyone knows it. So why haven’t I reached out to Sam? Because I’m stubborn, because I don’t know what to do, because I’m scared.

All the above and more. My sister came home a couple of days ago and it’s so good to see her. She’s been keeping me distracted, but she’s been telling me what an idiot I am.

I need to see Sam, but I still don’t know what to say to her, so I walk past the diner, hoping for a glance. I haven’t been in there for two weeks and not only do I miss the coffee; I miss Sam. The coffee at the station is crap.

I look through the window and I see her.

God, she’s beautiful. She’s wearing her uniform and her hair is up. Her face is glowing, but her eyes are red and puffy. I hate knowing I’m the cause. I want to pull her into my arms and hug her, tell her everything is going to be okay, but I’m not sure it will be. The visions of Christine in the hospital keep plaguing me.

I can’t go through that again. I turn and walk away—I need a drink.

Pushing open the wood door to Tucker’s, Lucas’ obnoxious voice booms through the bar.

I debate whether to go in. I’m not sure if I want to deal with his cocky attitude tonight. But before I turn to leave, Ethan walks up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. “Hey, man. Come on in. You look like you need a drink.”

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