Page 52 of Corpse Roads

Grabbing a blanket, I tuck him in and take the time to pick the kernels from his cheek. He shudders a little at my gentle touch, seeming to go on high alert.

I slow my movements, letting my fingers stroke against his skin. We’ve spent a lot of time together in the past week, our solitude broken by regular text messages from Enzo and his men patrolling outside the front gate.

A tiny, almost imperceptible whimper escapes Leighton’s lips. His eyes are moving behind his shut lids, battling an invisible enemy. Waiting for him to drop back off, I untangle our entwined limbs.

There’s more behind his carefree exterior.

I’ve seen darkness in him too.

Sneaking my way out of the den, I catch sight of the fading sun outside. Anticipation slips down my spine. Lucky is nipping at my heels as I sneak through the French doors without stopping to grab a coat.

I don’t care about the cold. This has become our nightly routine in the last few days, come rain or shine. Once outside, icy air wraps me in its familiar embrace.

I begin the long, peaceful walk around the perimeter of the garden. It’s huge, littered with shrubbery and twisted, gnarly trees. Lucky trots by my side, yipping occasionally.

We circle the garden, inspecting the falling leaves that paint the scene in orange and yellow. Autumn is surrendering itself to the harsh reality of winter in a riot of warm, burnished colours.

“Here we go,” I whisper, sinking to the wet grass.

Lucky settles by my side, her strong body curled against mine. I stroke every part of her, from her velvet ears to her shimmering, golden coat. She licks my cheek in return.

Laura had a dog when she was a kid. Something called a Staffie. She talked to me a lot. I know she hated her job, using her body to make money. Her brother was the only family she had left.

Every night, she’d walk the streets, convincing herself to keep going in his name. Each penny she earned would free him from a life of poverty that didn’t afford her the same opportunities.

Laura was smart and fiery. Unapologetically alive. She loved sunny days and hated snow—cold weather meant less work. Her entire existence revolved around the life she was determined to build for her sibling.

We’re going to get out of here, Harlow.

I’ll show you the sun.

I promise. Together.

With my eyes on the blazing horizon, I feel my tears flow again. After all these years, I finally see what I’ve been missing—the unparalleled beauty of the world as it falls asleep.

This is my new favourite time of day. I can almost feel Laura’s ghost next to me. In my imagination, her bloodied hand rests on mine as she watches the sunset with me.

When I look to the side, I can see her flowing auburn hair and sweet, gentle gaze. She smiles, piercing the numbness that’s wrapped around my bones. Reaching out, I try to cup her cheek, but my fingers pass straight through her, and she vanishes.

My hand hangs in the air, limp and useless. I’m staring at nothing. Laura isn’t really here. I’m alone. Every step I’ve ever taken has been utterly alone. Laura is dead. She begged for the abyss and left me to face the devil without her by my side.

“I’m so scared, Lucky,” I admit brokenly.

The dog butts my shoulder in response.

“What happens now? How am I supposed to… live?”

My aching eyes sink shut as the sun disappears, the final rays gone from sight. A sudden shiver rolls over me as feeling returns, but I don’t move to return inside.

The numbness comes and goes every day. Sometimes it lasts for hours, and I stare at the TV screen, feeling detached and unreal. It makes me feel so lost and out of control.

Teeth gritted, I take a handful of hair and separate the individual strands. It burns as I pull them, one at a time, letting the hair fall to the grass. Each burst of pain punches through my numb shield.

Pull.

Pull.

Pull.

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