Page 45 of Grinch Girl

“Ah.” A light dawned in Nate’s eyes. “I see.”

“Angela and Kelly had their babies one week apart when they were sixteen. Both had girls, another blonde with blue eyes who was destined for academic brilliance and success, and another dark-haired, dark-eyed girl who was destined for…” My voice faded.

“Great competence,” Nate supplied immediately.

I fought back a smile. “Angela and Kelly went back to high school, and Greta took care of the babies. She took care of them as they grew up and they both lived with her for a long time.”

I’d have liked to end the story there, but that wouldn’t have addressed the complex emotional undertones Nate was wondering about.

He helped me out. “What happened to Angela and Kelly after high school?”

“Post-pregnancy, Angela picked up on her life right where she left off. She worked hard and went to college out of town.”I was too little to remember, but I assumed she tore out of Falworth as quickly as she could, tire wheels screeching loudly.

“Was that hard on her little girl?” Nate wondered.

“Not really,” I said. Both Bella and I had been happy kids. We had Greta and we had each other. I took a beat, though, forcing myself to remember. No, it hadn’t been hard on Bella when she was small. Angela was sort of like a glamorous big sister figure then. Bella’s eyes would shine when Greta would mention how well Angela was doing away at school.

But when we got older, I guess it was a little different. She looked at Angela’s picture before bed every night. Begged Greta to let us call her all the time, just to chat. Although Angela returned to this part of Wisconsin a few years after college, she never really came home to Bella. She maintained a careful, cordial relationship with Greta, and I didn’t know what conversations were had behind closed doors. But Angela never moved back into the house with us, and she never asked for Bella to come live with her. Not when she moved in with friends after college, not when she moved into an elegant condo by herself, and not when she got married when Bella and I were in high school.

I swallowed over a lump in my throat. I hadn’t thought about all of this in ages. How I’d once found thirteen-year-old Bella crying on the floor of our bathroom because Angela hadn’t taken her out for a special birthday dinner. “Why does she hate me?” she’d said between hiccups.

Even then, I’d understood. “She doesn’t hate you, Bells.” I knew what it was by the way Angela’s eyes slid away whenever she saw us. “She’s embarrassed. Not of you! You are perfect. But of the simple fact that she has a teenage daughter.” Angela liked to pretend the blip in the trajectory of her perfect life just never happened.

“And Kelly?” Nate asked quietly. “What happened to her?”

“She struggled.” I shrugged. “She barely graduated high school, and she had a hard time keeping a job, and then the real problems started.”

“The addiction?”

I nodded. So I’d stayed with Greta and Bella too. In high school, I’d become hyperaware that our living situation wasn’t normal, and I’d offered to leave, dozens of times. “Mom and I can get an apartment,” I’d say to Greta. I didn’t see much of Kelly, but I knew she was around. I saw her in the gas station parking lot sometimes. In the cabs of random trucks as they roared through the town square.

Sometimes kids at school gave me weird looks when I told them where I lived. After all, I wasn’t related to Greta in any way, but here she was, feeding me. Clothing me. Offering to help with my schoolwork. She worked so hard, at her store and constantly volunteering throughout the community. I felt ashamed for being such a burden. I was sure my mom and I could afford a cheap place to live. If she worked full-time and I got an after-school job, it would be doable.

But Greta had known a lot more than I did about Kelly’s lifestyle then, and she’d protected me. “I would be so sad if you left, Jane.” She’d liked to end every day by pulling both me and Bella into her arms and squeezing, although by then we were both taller than her. “You two are my family. The exact family I have always wanted.”

Some of the tightness in my throat relaxed and I was able to keep talking. “Neither Kelly nor Angela were the greatest mothers. But they gave their daughters the gift of being raised by Greta.”

Nate nodded. He didn’t ask anything, but I could practically see the questions behind those lips. “So to answer your earlier question about subtext, Bella has some mommy issues that she’s being unfairly forced to deal with today,” I added.

“Hmmm.” He quirked one eyebrow. “What I really want to know is what happened between you and Bella. After such a unique childhood, I would have assumed you’d have a lifelong bond. Why aren’t you friends anymore?”

Sourness rose in my stomach. Which annoyed me. I really was too old for this Bella-inspired toxicity. If she’d learned one thing from Angela, it was abandonment. But I was a grown woman now. It shouldn’t matter anymore.

The door of the municipal building flew open, and Bella appeared in the doorway. “We’ve run out of time for memories,” I quipped. By the tight set of Bella’s jaw, I could tell we were shit out of luck. “No dice on taking down the ad?” I called.

She shook her head quickly. “No.” She cleared her throat. “They said it was just good business. That we could have capitalized on it if we’d been smarter. And they prepaid the ad for the entire month, so they couldn’t take it back even if they wanted to.”

She reached a pale hand up to wipe wet eyes. I narrowed mine. Bella wouldn’t cry over anything the council had said about the ad. She was, however, eternally vulnerable to Angela. “What did she say to you?”

Bella’s lips quivered as she tried for bravado. “Oh, you know. How embarrassed she was for me to be part of the series. How I was making myself look ridiculous. How I’m making her look ridiculous. That kind of thing.”

I compared that reaction with the call I’d received from my mom a few nights ago. She was so interested in the series that she’d asked three dozen questions. “This whole thing is so cool! So badass, Jane!” she’d exclaimed. We’d laughed together about things the contestants had said and the many technical snafus our first-time cameramen were dealing with. Next week she was coming to the ice rink, where we were filming the fourth date.Just to watch. Just because she was interested and wanted to be supportive.

I looked down at the gravel beneath my feet. When I was in junior high, I used to feel ashamed about Angela and Kelly’s comparative life arcs. Sometimes I was so jealous of Bella I could taste it. But now…

“That’s bullshit, Bells,” I said quietly. “You’re holding the entire series together. People are watching because they’re rooting for you. You’re saving the damn town.”

My face was hot, and my stomach twisted in an uncomfortable knot. I didn’t want to say these words, but they just popped out. Why did I feel the need to comfort Bella when I was still so angry with her? Would always be angry with her. Why were her tears still kryptonite for me? “Forget Angela. Focus on what Greta would think.”

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