Page 39 of Monster's Edge

“Oh, no,” I shake my head. “I graduated a few years ago. I work with animals now.”

“Animals? What kind of animals?”

“Oh, you know...” My voice trails off again as I once more let my eyes connect with Ian’s. Shit. What the hell am I doing? I want him so badly that I feel like I’m going to absolutely choke. My whole body feels like it’s on fire and the two of us haven’t even touched.

Maybe it’s because he was messing with me in the car earlier. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get the orgasm I definitely deserve. Maybe it’s all of these things rolled into one. I just don’t know.

“I’m afraid I don’t know,” Havisham draws me back. He looks at me, cocking his head. “Are you sure you’re all right?” He lowers his voice. “Have you been drinking?”

“No!” I say this a little too quickly. It seems jolting to Havisham, who takes a step back. Shit. Lowering my voice, I try to stay calm. “No, I haven’t been drinking. I’m so sorry. I forgot that I’m needed in the kitchen.” A lie. “I’ll come find you a bit, Havisham. We’ll catch up!”

He starts talking again, but I turn and all but run out of the large party room and down the hall. I don’t head to the kitchen like I said. Instead, I keep walking until I pass my dad’s first floor office. I make my way past the door that leads to the basement, past the staircase that leads to the second floor, and past the secret door that leads to the hidden staircase. I walk and walk until I’m on the opposite side of the house, and then I find a small bench beside a large plant, and I collapse there.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

I can’t please everyone. I know that. I really, really can’t. I can’t stay away from Ian and try to make him jealous because he’s going to hurt me for it. I can’tstaywith him andnotmake him jealous because my father will hurt me for it. I can’t do anything right, so for now, I’m just going to sit here.

Closing my eyes, I lean my head back against the wall, and I take a deep breath.

Everything is going to be okay.

4

His throat is on myneck.

My eyes fly open as I look at Ian. He says nothing. Neither do I. The two of us just stare at each other as he slowly starts to tighten his grip on me. Pain radiates from my neck to my head and down to my toes. Everything he’s doing hurts, but I don’t fight him. I don’t want to fight him.

If I’m going to die at Ian’s hand, then it’s okay. I don’t really want to die just yet. I’d like to live for a little while longer. If I can’t stay alive, though, and if Imustdie, then I think Ian would be a good person to kill me.

He finally releases me.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He frowns as he speaks. His words are harsh and mean. He’s pissed, I realize. No, he’s confused. He doesn’t know why I’m sitting here with my back to a wall half-hidden by a giant plant that definitely needs to be watered more.

“I’m sitting.”

“I can see that.”

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