Page 14 of The Wrong Sister

“Was it a bad one?” She’s still playing with my hair and Raff comes around with two mugs, sitting one next to Catherine and placing the other on the coffee table in front of me. She nods her thanks but keeps up her ministrations. Raff lifts my feet and sits underneath them, on the other end of the couch.

“She’s only six but she looks like she’s about four—tiny and delicate. And broken.” I clench my teeth, willing the tears away. I’m tired and sad, but it’s nothing compared to what that little girl has gone through. I need to suck it up. Sorrow doesn’t get her taken care of. Sorrow doesn’t keep her safe. Those emotions can wait until I’m alone, whenI’msafe. “Her arm was broken from falling down the stairs but one of the fractures looked more like her arm was twisted and jerked than something caused by a fall. She wasn’t able to tell me enough to clarify if the fall was an accident or if something else happened. Her inability to say doesn’t give me a lot of confidence that it was an accident.”

I feel a drop of wetness on me and tilt my head up to see that Catherine is crying. Raff reaches his long arms across and gently wipes the tears from her cheek. I squeeze her hand that’s holding mine.

“She’s in a bad way—like she’s been ignored and maybe hurt for a long time. I’ve done all I can for today, but it makes me furious.”

“That poor little girl,” Catherine whispers.

I sit up, savor a deep gulp of my coffee, and take myself to the bathroom. The cool splash of water on my face provides a measure of calm, giving me a place to focus besides the anger burning in my chest. I come back out to find Rafferty holding Catherine on the couch. Her face is buried in his neck and she’s basically in his lap. He looks at me over her shoulder, shrugging slightly, then goes back to whispering to her and rubbing her back softly. It’s a good thing Catherine works with numbers, she’s too soft to deal with the ugliness of the world regularly. It would change her and I hate the thought of my sweet sister being hardened. Raff seems to work his magic, but instead of going back to his former seat, he stands up.

“I’ve gotta meet my client in about twenty minutes. Thanks for letting me hang today, my queen.” He bows theatrically and kisses her hand, then drops it and kisses her cheek in earnest, his hand lingering on her jaw. He grabs his bag and ruffles my hair. “See ya, Teeny Meens.”

The door closes behind him and I go back to snuggling on the couch with my sister, not even embarrassed by how much I need the affection. “How was today?” I ask her.

She sips her coffee, breathing deeply. “It was good.” Not very convincing.

“What did you guys end up doing? Sorry I had to leave.”

“We understand, Mina. What you do is important. I’m glad that little girl has you fighting for her. I’d want you in my corner every time.” I squeeze her in a rough hug, an obnoxious knot of emotions in my throat making it difficult to swallow. “We didn’t do much. We talked, Rafferty showered, that’s about it. I can see why you and he have always been such good friends. He’s easy to talk to and very…intuitive.” There’s something there, something she’s not telling me, but I’ll let it go. For now. Catherine often needs time to process. She doesn’t do anything rashly.

“That’s Raff. I’m glad you guys had time together, the two of you. He’s a great person to have in your corner as well. What do we want to do? It’s almost dinnertime.”

“I’d like more of this if that’s okay with you. Couch sitting, maybe a show, then get something delivered so we don’t have to move.” She sinks farther back into the couch cushions.

“I like how you think. That sounds perfect after this afternoon. We have hours to binge something. Do we want emotional? Familiar? Or more sci-fi?”

She considers the question seriously, the way she considers everything. “I can’t do emotional right now. No tears. Let’s go back to the beginning ofPsych. I could use some Shawn and Gus in my life.”

“Perfect! And popcorn.” We make popcorn and cuddle up with throw blankets. Catherine’s condo is nice. She has air conditioning and it’s a high-rise with an amazing view of the city. I love that the treat of having ac means we can use blankets and be cozy. She starts the first episode and we sit back, laughing and quoting lines back and forth. Because we’ve seen every season a few times, we can both watch and talk.

I ask her, between handfuls of savory popcorn, “Did you ever end up talking to Griffin more?” I don’t want to ask. I don’t want to know the answer. But I need to know. I can’t help it.

“About?”

“Clarification, I guess. What you are? What his intentions are?”

“No. We didn’t talk after we all ate together last night. I thought I might talk to him today, but he ran out of your apartment before I even got to say hello. I’m still not entirely sure if he’s meaning to try to date or if we’re merely reconnecting as friends.”

“Are you leaning in any particular direction?” I hop up to grab us cans of sparkling water from her fridge. I’m not even thirsty, I just don’t want her to see my face. I’ve never been good at hiding my feelings from her. Everyone else? Sure. I can keep that shit locked down tight. Catherine’s different.

“I’m honestly not sure anymore. Initially, I thought it could work, dating. I mean, there’s no denying how objectively attractive he is.”

I snort. “That is the most boring way I’ve ever heard an insanely hot guy described!”

“I guess maybe I can appreciate his attractiveness, but not necessarily be sure that I, myself, am attracted to him. I could be. Maybe. But I don’t know.”

“High praise there, Catherine.”

“That’s my point, though, isn’t it? Shouldn’t I feel more strongly than that? When it comes to Griffin, I feel like he’s a good guy, he has qualities I’d be happy with in a partner, he’s attractive…but beyond that, I don’t know. It could be that it would grow into more if we dated.” Every logical consideration is a tiny, sharp wound.

“Would you want that?” The popcorn I had been munching is like dust in my mouth.

“Possibly. We have such a history, between our families. It would be pretty great to have the Simms as in-laws. When it’s all laid out, I think I’d be willing to give it a shot, to see where things go. It couldn’t hurt to at least try. On paper, we could be a pretty good couple.”

There. I did it. We talked it through and I survived. I smile softly and pat her knee. That’s very Catherine. She mapped out the positives and negatives, she came to a logical conclusion, and she’s fine moving forward. Part of me hopes it works because I want her to be happy. But there’s also a part of me, completely ignoring my attraction to Griffin and how much this hurts, that hopes that she gets to experience the kind of love that sweeps her off of her feet, knocking change into her safe existence like a rogue ocean wave. She deserves to be craved, not simply adapted to. She deserves to want something desperately, not feel like she should ‘give it a shot.’

I can’t help but think about the tender way Rafferty held her earlier, and wonder why she looked uncomfortable when I first got back. It reminds me a little of another time, back when we were teenagers, that I hadn’t thought about in years.

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