“Well, there’s no question about that. But I’m pretty sure you’ve known that for a while. I recall needing a few minutes to get myself under control at Magic Island. And later at your apartment.”
I expect her to give me a cocky grin, maybe crack a joke, but her expression is serious. Her grip is firm but she’s not moving. “Honestly, Griffin, as far as I was concerned that could have been a fluke. Or caused by someone else. You have been…less than clear lately.”
I run my hands up her back, relishing the feel of her smooth skin. “I’m sorry, Meens. It was never that I didn’t want you. From the first time I saw you again, in that tight skirt and heels before the mediation, I haven’t been able to think of anything else.” She kisses me and it quickly goes from soft to fervent, the movement of our lips and the firm stroking of her hand matching intensity. God, I need to know if this was real, that I didn’t build it up in my head. I slide my hand down between her legs, running my fingers through her folds, want pulsing within me. “You’re so wet for me, Mina.” I groan. “I need you.”
She exhales a shuddering breath. “Yes.”
She hands me a condom. Fuck, that’s hot. She wanted this enough that she came out after brushing her teeth and grabbed a condom. I roll it on quickly and wrap her in my arms, lifting her up and sliding into her. She’s warm and slick and everything feels even better than I remember. There’s no thought, no more talking, only the sounds of our bodies moving as one. We’re all lips and tongues, limbs and grasping hands, sighs and moans. The build is fast and intense and when our climaxes break I feel lightheaded from the rush. We collapse together, but I can’t stop touching her. I wouldn’t even if I could.
“Fuck, Mina, if anything, the alcohol last night dulled my memory a little bit. How was that even better?” She giggles and suddenly I feel very self-conscious. “Or was that just me?”
Kissing me deeply, her tongue slowly explores my mouth. “It was not just you. I didn’t even have drunkenness to use as an excuse—I may have downplayed it, in a futile attempt at self-protection, but there’s no ignoring the reality. I think we should do that again. A lot. Like, all the time, whenever possible. To make sure it wasn’t a fluke.”
I grin, relieved. “It’s the only way to properly research a subject. We have to be thorough.”
“I appreciate your thoroughness very much, Mr. Simms.” She lays her head on my chest and runs her fingers through my chest hair. I sigh, enjoying the quiet goodness of holding her. I can’t remember the last time I had this level of companionship or easy affection. “Speaking of drunkenness: what was up with last night, Griff? It didn’t seem like you.”
I let out a puff of breath, rubbing my hand down my face. “It’s not. I don’t usually let myself get to that point. Doing things to excess isn’t me. I was really fucking angry last night. I don’t deal with anger very well. I wanted to…not feel anything. So I ordered a drink, and kept on drinking.”
“Can I ask what happened? You said Catherine dumped you?” She’s still tracing her fingers over my chest.
“She was kind. And she was right. I think that’s what made me the most frustrated. I don’t like to be wrong. She said I was forcing things; there was nothing between us; we were boring together and there was no spark. I was indignant. With Catherine! Can you believe that? What an asshole. I probably owe her another apology. I, um,” I clear my throat. “I sort of kissed her.” Logic tells me I shouldn’t have told her that but it’s been weighing on me and I needed it to not be compressing my chest any longer.
She pushes herself up, looking me in the eyes. “You kissed her?” Her head is tilted, expression unreadable.
“Yeah. She said there was no spark. I tried to prove her wrong. I failed. Spectacularly. It was awful. Like always, Catherine was right. There was nothing there. Hands down, the worst kiss of my life. It sent me into a tailspin.”
“And that was genuinely surprising to you?” Her face continues to be still and expressionless, reminding me of those old statues that time has slowly smoothed down.
“It shouldn’t have been, but yes. As I said, we talked about it. We laid everything out as if Catherine was doing one of her accounts. We both felt that we like each other, we have commonalities and shared history, why wouldn’t it work? But it didn’t and the more I felt like I was failing the harder I tried.”
She lies her head back down, not responding, and I wrap my arms around her tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. I think that may be the single most selfish thing I’ve ever done. Why did I tell her any of that? Why did I think losing some of the weight of my guilt was more important than her feelings? It doesn’t matter that she hasn’t said anything. She literally yelled, in my face last night, that she wasn’t a consolation prize and here I am, making sure she knows exactly how much of a second choice she was. I’m such an asshole.
We stay that way a while longer, skin to skin, until the need for caffeine and food forces us from my bed. After we’ve eaten I drag Mina into the shower with me and try, somewhat desperately, to undo some of the damage my words must have done. I know I can’t explain to her why I was so set against her, so I make it my goal to show her, enthusiastically, what a mistake that was. I’ll never be able to look at my shower stall the same way again. Every time I go in there I’m going to see Mina pressed against the wall, her leg on my shoulder, moans echoing off the tiles. We’re barely done and I’m already craving her again. What exactly have I gotten myself into? And why did it take me so fucking long?
17
mina
Nothing in my best dreams could compare to Griffin in reality. I’m deliciously sore and not all of it is from the full day of gardening. I still feel shaky from the shower we just finished. That was the hottest fucking thing I have ever experienced. He looked pretty damn cocky when he stood back up from between my shaky legs, but he earned it. He’s drying off and I’m standing back, watching him. The strong lines of his back, his broad shoulders, his perfect ass—it’s all even better than I imagined for all those years. He turns towards me, rubbing the towel over his dark hair and I’m basically drooling.
“You’re staring, Mina.”
“You don’t mind.”
“Nope. Stare away.” He smiles, dimple in full effect.
“I can’t help but stare. I’ve always thought you were good-looking but being this close, getting to touch you?” I lift a shoulder, too embarrassed to finish. His smile turns my insides gooey like a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie. It’s that goddamn dimple, I swear.
“You’ve always thought I was good-looking?”
“Are you serious?” My stomach clenches involuntarily. I told myself to ignore how much it hurt, hearing that Griffin had kissed Catherine, that he had basically only considered me after she made sure she was no longer an option. But this addition is one emotional blow too many. I’m running out of space to shove all of my unaddressed emotions into.
Griffin, totally unaware of my internal breakdown, continues jovially. “What’s there to joke about? Who doesn’t like to hear someone finds them attractive? This is news to me and I’m not ashamed to admit I like hearing it. Feel free to compliment me all the time. We could schedule it in if that’s easier for you, but the lack of spontaneity could affect the quality.” His expression is relaxed and playful.
“This is news to you?” I gurgle out in a weird, strangled half-whisper. I’m shocked. Genuinely, completely shocked. I thought it was teenage melodrama, maybe a touch of playing the victim, but Iwasinvisible!
“Well, yeah. It’s not like we’ve ever talked like this before! Also, you’re two years younger than me. There wasn’t ever a time growing up when you wouldn’t have been off-limits. I never even considered it.”