Page 63 of The Wrong Sister

38

mina

Rafferty and I watch a couple of episodes. I don’t laugh as much as I should and when I do it feels forced but he lets me be. I’m considering calling it a night. It’s too early to go to sleep but I’m over today. It probably wouldn’t take too much for me to pass out. The scratch of metal on metal, a key in my lock, brings me out of my thoughts. Griffin strides in, his broad shoulders tense and his face set as if his handsome features were carved out of marble. Raff stands up when he sees his brother.

“Thanks for coming, Raff. You can go now.” His voice is gruff, stern, but not unkind. Raff doesn’t even question it, he merely pats my shoulder on his way out. The door closes and it’s just the two of us. The air feels charged. I stand up, ready to lash out. I can’t do this again. Everything is still too raw. It hurts too much. I open my mouth and Griffin holds out his hand, the line of his mouth grim.

“No.”

I sputter. “Excuse me?”

“I said no, Mina.” His voice is infuriatingly calm and rational. “You had your say.”

I can feel my temper rising, pushing aside the sadness I’ve been drowning in. “Who the fuck are you to tell me I can’t speak? You come intomyapartment…”

“NO!” Griffin yells the word, his fists clenched at his sides and I’m shocked into silence. “YOU said I’m allowed to be angry and I am! I’m fucking angry, Mina!”

He steps towards me, his body as tight as a string on a violin. Even then, it doesn’t change who he is or how safe he makes me feel. I’m not afraid of Griffin. I trust him implicitly.

“You know me, Mina. Better than anyone. You know that I need a moment to process my thoughts. You’ve even been on the receiving end of me freezing when confronted with something unexpected and overwhelming. I’m not an impetuous person. That doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings!” His voice rises, almost yelling, and the barely contained emotion from stoic Griffin gives me a lump in my throat. “You didn’t even give me a chance! You said you love me then treated me as if you don’t know me at all.”

I don’t know what to say to that. He’s watching me, maybe waiting for me to respond, and I’m suddenly unsure about this afternoon’s turn of events. He’s so hurt. Because of me. I feel timid.

“You just stared at me.”

He takes another step toward me, unclenching his fists.

“What did you expect? You shared the most meaningful thing that anyone haseversaid to me. And it wasn’t only the words, it was the fact that it wasyousaying them.” He takes another step, closing the distance between us. “What’s more, it came after the single most intimate moment of my life. I couldn’t even comprehend what I was hearing—wild, exciting, passionate Mina loves boring, reliable me? And then, while I was still trying to let my brain believe that you truly, genuinely said it, that I didn’t dream it, you were leaving me alone on the bed. You backed away and covered yourself like there was something wrong with me! It all happened so fast, Mina! I couldn’t keep up. One moment I was soaring higher than I’ve ever been and the next you were screaming at me to leave.”

Oh God, my stomach hurts. Somehow this is even worse than how I felt this afternoon. He takes the final step, reaching out and taking my hand in his.

“I shouldn’t have listened. I should have stood my ground and made you hear me. I gave you what you wanted. I left. And now you’re going to give me what I want. Are you listening to me, Mina?”

I shake my head in the tiniest of nods, desperate for him to continue and terrified of what he wants me to hear.

“I love you, Mina Brookner. I love your drive and your passion. I love your energy and that smart mouth. I love your caring heart that you protect underneath all that armor. I love talking to you and laughing with you and holding you. I love your strength and I love when you let me see your vulnerability. I love you and I’m still pretty fucking mad about how all of this went down. I deserve to be loved for who I am, and that includes the fact that I need a little patience when it comes to responding to big things. I’m always going to need a moment to process. Can you give me that?”

I nod again, unable to speak. Those lips I love quirk up in a little smirk.

“Doyouneed a moment, Meens? I can give you that.”

I laugh as a small tear slides down the side of my nose. “I fucked things up that bad and you still love me?”

He wipes the tear away, cupping my face. “Next time it will be my turn to fuck things up. Will you still love me if I make a mistake?”

“When you make a mistake,” I amend.

“When,” he agrees. I move closer, pressing my face to his chest and he holds me. He’s solid and warm; my safe haven.

“I thought we were done. I was trying to figure out how to start over without you,” I murmur into his strong chest. “I was considering getting a cat so I wouldn’t have to die alone. Although then I worried about the likelihood of it eating me when that did happen.”

He snorts. “Well, that’s ridiculous. We had one disagreement! I’m not sure you can even call it that. We had half of an important conversation that got interrupted by your temper. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Wow,” I sniffle. “Is that all that was? Why did it feel like the end of the world to me? I should probably work on that level of overreaction.”

“That’s what I’m saying! Would it have helped if I had yelled CALM DOWN in the heat of the moment?”

“For sure,” I deadpan. “The easiest way to get someone to calm down is to yell it at them. I don’t know why more people don’t do that to me. It always gives me an immediate sense of peace.”