Page 57 of Loving Carter

“Okay, then. Let’s see. The aunts miss you. They’re fine, but you don’t text or call, and they are feeling abandoned.”

I rub my forehead. I deserve this guilt. I haven’t been in touch with Tillie and Edna, and I should be checking up on them.

“You’re right,” I say. “I’ll get in touch.”

“Wait. Wait,” Ryker says. “The world must be ending if you’re admitting you’re wrong. Throughout this entire debacle, you have never admitted that the whole thing is your fault.”

What is he talking about? “What debacle?”

“You leaving town. Packing up and making a quick escape. You didn’t even come to the expo. Poof. You were just gone.”

Okay, that’s unfair. “I told everyone goodbye.”

“Did you?”

I swivel my chair around and look at the clock by the door. “I have a meeting starting in ten minutes. Go ahead and spit out whatever it is you want to say.”

“Okay. Here are the facts. You really hurt Skylar, and she doesn’t deserve it. She’s a nice person, and you’re not acting like one at the moment.”

Everything he’s saying is true, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to listen to.

“What did she say to you?” I ask, dreading the answer. I know it’s going to upset me.

“That she’s glad you’ve found a wonderful job. Beyond that, nothing. She should have told me what a colossal jerk you are, but she didn’t. She ran the expo without your help.”

“I did help,” I explain. “Before I left.”

“And? Did you come back to make sure everything was in place or did you dump it all on Skylar?”

“There is a whole committee to work on the expo,” I say, feeling defensive. “Plus, I talked with the mayor several times and made sure there was enough help. I even paid Kellan to pitch in.”

“But isn’t being at the expo the important part of this whole project? It’s like you baked a delicious cake, but at the last minute, you decided not to frost it. You want credit for baking the cake, but all any of us can do is wonder why you didn’t frost it.”

As convoluted as his point is, I understand what he’s saying. “You think I’m a coward.”

“Iknowyou’re a coward. You left because you didn’t want to face Skylar again.”

Ryker isn’t telling me anything I haven’t told myself during the last few days, but still, it’s difficult to listen to. I glance at the clock again.

“That meeting I mentioned is starting in two minutes, so wrap up your guilt trip,” I say.

Ryker’s silent for a moment, then he asks, “How are you going to feel when she finds someone else and marries him? Because you know it will happen. Skylar’s beautiful, smart, and nice. Some man who’s smart and not a jerk is going to ask her to marry him, and she’s going to say yes.”

I don’t like this conversation, but I admit, “I don’t know—”

“Just take a minute and consider what matters the most to you in life. Ask yourself, how will you feel in five or ten years or even fifty years if you miss this opportunity and Skylar marries some other guy? Has children with some other guy? Will you have regrets?”

“Um...” There is nothing else I can say.

Ryker adds, “Now ask yourself how you’ll feel in those same five or ten or fifty years if you don’t stay with this job. Will you have regrets about that?”

I look at the clock again. “Ryker, I have to go.”

“You need to think about this stuff,” Ryker says.

Before I can respond, he hangs up. It’s just as well. His questions have knocked the wind out of my sails. It’s not something I haven’t considered. I have. Several times the thought has crowded its way into my mind, and each time I push it away.

But now I feel compelled to examine it. How will I feel?

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