‘What about your brother, Tolly?’
He went silent again as he remembered. ‘He was a lot like me, actually.’
‘Mean-spirited and always in a mood?’
His lips twitched. ‘He had my adventurous spirit, loved to read and learn, but he also had a big heart and a joke always ready. He was funny. People liked that about him.’
A few minutes passed.
‘Who was with you at the end,’ she asked.
‘Tolly—until I sent him away.’ Blackmane swallowed. ‘He would be twenty-one this year.’
She could hear the pain lacing his words.
‘He didn’t want to board. Fought me the whole way to the port. I had to drag him up the gangplank, then wait on the dock to make sure he didn’t jump overboard and swim back to shore.’
Isabel’s throat thickened. ‘Was he healthy then?’
A nod. ‘My sister was also alive then—barely. I needed to stay and take care of her, to bury her. I planned to meet him in Wales.’
Isabel’s hand went to his chest. ‘Did he catch it on the ship?’
‘Maybe. Or maybe he brought it to the ship.’ He paused. ‘It doesn’t matter now. They wouldn’t let anyone ashore before setting it alight.’
Oh God. Her hand moved to his cheek. ‘And now you feel guilty because you lived and they did not. You blame yourself for Tolly’s death and wonder if he would be alive if he had stayed with you.’
His hand went over hers, heavy and calloused.
‘Now I understand why you take your job so seriously,’ she said. ‘Failing those under your protection feels like failing him all over again.’
Blackmane searched her eyes for a long moment, then removed her hand from his face. ‘I think you’re warm enough now.’ Pulling back the blanket, he climbed out, tucking it around her before returning to the fire.
CHAPTER 15
Blackmane relieved Hadewaye from his post a little after midnight. He sat in the dark twenty yards from the fire, alternating between watching his surroundings and watching Isabel sleep. She was hard to look away from. The man they called Seal studied the trees opposite. The two men made a point of staying out of each other’s way.
Hadewaye woke a little before sunrise and came to find him. ‘Everything quiet?’
Blackmane nodded.
‘So what’s the plan?’
Blackmane looked over to where she was sleeping. ‘I don’t see she has much choice but to go back to him.’
‘I feel for her, knowing what he did.’
Blackmane was trying not to think about it, because every time he did, his jaw tightened and his hands curled into fists. ‘We should do a proper check of the area and separate from the St Clare people as soon as possible.’
Hadewaye nodded. ‘I’ll go. You wake Lady Isabel and make a plan.’
It was a conversation Blackmane was dreading. Even if she agreed with him and returned to the camp, he could not predictthe outcome of her reunion with Hodge. But running was not an option, not from that man. He would lose his mind, and it would be the wastelanders who paid the price for her disappearance.
Hadewaye mounted his horse and cantered away. Seal had now returned to the other campfire and was dousing it with water, likely thinking along the same lines as them.
Drawing a breath, Blackmane headed for Isabel. He was halfway there when he felt the small hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He whipped his head around, listening. Nothing. Yet the hairs remained erect.
Changing course, he went straight over to Ita, who was now sitting upright, watching him.