Page 37 of That Time I Kissed My Brother’s Best Friend

She drops her chin. “I don’t need you to take care of me either.”

I blow out a breath. This is coming out all wrong, and I’m just upsetting the woman I love, when all I want to do is make life easier for her. To make a lifewithher. “What if we—”

“Stop. Please.” She looks up and swallows so hard I can practically hear it. Another late, lone firecracker pops somewhere in the distance. “Just listen to me, okay?”

“Okay.” I reach out to stroke her bare arm. It’s soft. Smooth. Perfect. The July air is warm and sweet. I want to take Kasey in my arms and soak her up. Claim her as mine. But Kasey’s got to get her sadness off her chest first. “I’m listening.”

She chews at her lip. “I don’t need your pity, and I don’t need you to take care of me, because I can take care of myself.”

“Of course you can. You’re the strongest, smartest person I know. And I—”

“I got the job, Beau.”

My throat constricts. “You what?”

“AtThe Chronicle. Judy Witherspoon just offered me the position. Well, first she apologized for interrupting the fireworks. She forgot I was on the east coast, and wanted to share the good news as soon as possible. And then she hired me.”

My lungs are exploding, and I start to stammer. “Oh. I. Wow. You… I didn’t… Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” She gives me a tight nod. “Anyway, this job couldn’t have come at a better time.”Great.I feel sick. Kasey’s leaving me, and she thinks it’s a good thing? “I had an hourly contract there all through college, but I can’t afford LA rent without a full-time salary.”

“Right.” My jaw goes rigid. Bear-trap tight. “Good. Yeah. Got it.”

Her eyes widen, and she starts talking faster, like she’s trying to convince me how great this is. Maybe she’s trying to convince herself. “They made me head of Classifieds, Beau. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a really big deal. I’ll be the youngest department head at the paper.”

“That’s … amazing.” I unclench my teeth and force my mouth into a smile. I want to support her on the outside even though inside I’m dying. “So I guess those were happy tears then.”

“Huh?” She cocks her head. Blinks a few times.

“When you first walked over after the call. The sniffles. You wiped your nose. I thought you were crying.” I level my gaze and watch as Kasey’s eyes get wet. She rubs at them with her fists. “Hey. Youarecrying.”

“Maybe a little.” She sniffs and nods again. “But I wouldn’t say happy tears. Not exactly. I think…” Her voice catches. “The feeling is closer to pride.” She shakes her head. “I’ve spent my entire life trying to get people’s approval. To be worthy. To finally believe I’m good enough.” She blows out a long breath. “I’m not even sure how to handle these emotions. It’s all kind of overwhelming.” I put my hands on her shoulders, and she shivers even though the night’s still warm.

“For the record, I always believed in you, Kase. And I’ll always be your biggest fan.”

She looks down and starts fumbling at her wrist, working the clasp of her bracelet with one hand.

What is happening?

“Your bracelet. It’s so beautiful. And the charm idea …” Her breath hitches, and she gulps. “It’s so sweet. It’s soyou.” Lifting her face again, Kasey peers up at me from under wet lashes. “But there’s a whole life out there waiting for you. A big, important life. People are counting on you to document their stories. To contribute to their causes.” She takes a beat. “Not to mention your own vision.” Her eyes are shining in the moonlight, and my heart is pumping hard. “A Pulitzer-Prize winner wants to work with you, Beau. That’s … it’s … beyond incredible. It’s what you’ve always wanted, and I don’t want hold you back from that. I won’t keep you chained down, waiting around to give me charms. Not when you could be out there really living.”

My heart pumps even faster. “But I don’t feel chained.”

“You wouldn’t be completely free, though.” She inhales deeply, breathes out. “Not if you’re always thinking about me.”

“Kasey. Please.” I hate sounding desperate, but I am. “I don’t care about any of that.”

“Okay.” She nods. “Then I’ll careforyou.” Her voice is soft now, like she’s already a country away. She rubs at her bare wrist. “Your real dream isn’t here.” She looks out over the lake. “It’s out there. Thousands of miles from this place.”

I make a sound in the back of my throat—part wounded animal, part broken man. If she’d taken an axe and chopped me down the middle, I couldn’t feel more cut in two. “Kasey. Don’t you get it? You’re my dream. You.”

She tucks the bracelet into my hand. “For your sake, I can’t let that be true.”

ChapterFifteen

KASEY

For my family’s fake Christmas Eve, my nose is right on theme, turning as red as good old Rudolph’s—with both a PH and an F. I haven’t stopped crying. I didn’t sleep. And I absolutely can’t eat. Not my mom’s Christmas Eve pancakes for breakfast. Or her Christmas Eve BLTs for lunch. And I really, really love bacon.

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