Page 121 of My Infatuation with Isabella

“Thanks.” I stand up. “Let’s bring it in for a group hug.”

They usually groan and give me shit when I say that, but today they’re happy to indulge me. When we step back, I look at Scott. “And seeing that you’re the one to blame for all this...I’d like you to be my best man.”

A wide grin splits his face. “Dyl, it would be my pleasure.” It only takes a few seconds for the smile to drop off his face. “Wait a minute. You’re getting married to Isabella?”

Confusion scrunches my face because he says it like it’s the first time he’s realizing it. “Uh...yeah. I thought that part was obvious.”

“So...so at the wedding...Cat’s gonna be there?”

It’s weird, but I feel the tension dripping off those words. “I mean...we don’t have to invite her. What’s that rule again...If you don’t see someone for a year, they shouldn’t be invited to the wedding. That applies to her.”

His jaw tightens because he doesn’t appreciate me joking about this. He hasn’t seen her since her mom got married to Keith four and a half years ago, and the thought of seeing her again is bothering him. Pete and I can both see it and eventually, Peter throws his arm around Scott’s shoulder.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Peter assures him. “Awkward...veryawkward because her new boyfriend will probably be there, too...but you can deal with awkwardness for one day.”

Peter has never been in love before, so he doesn’t understand the barrage of emotions that come with seeing an ex again. In Scott’s case, he’ll be seeing his ex with another guy, which makes it a million times worse.

“You cool, Scott?” I ask.

“Yep.”

“Because I have this voice note from you where you were saying?”

“No need to bring that up, Dyl. That was a long time ago.”

“It was last year.”

“I’m fine, I swear.” A smile splits his face too fast to be believable. “Pete and I are gonna take you out tomorrow to celebrate, but your fiancé is waiting for you at home, so...why don’t we call it a night?”

I agree because I also want to get back to her. Scott’s weird mood lasts about three minutes. He’s back to being a douche the second we climb into the truck, telling Peter all his plans for his new SUV. Pete is both amused and annoyed. He’s got cars to spare. It’s the fact that he lost that’s bothering him. After deciding to go surfing tomorrow afternoon, I drop them both off at Scott’s apartment because he lives right on the beach.

“I can’t believe you’re on to your second marriage when I haven’t found a girl I can date for longer than two months,” Peter says as they hop out of the truck. “But since it’s the second time, we have to make everything twice as epic, so?”

“We’re not going to have strippers at my bachelor party,” I inform him.

“Dyl, I just lost a car because of you. You’re telling me I’m not even gonna get to see tits as compensation.”

“Then don’t make stupid bets in future.” I give them a nod. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

They shut the door, and I drive back to Isabella’s house. I sneak in as quietly as I can, then strip off my jeans and T-shirt and climb into bed beside her. She murmurs in her sleep, turning over to throw her arm across me, her hair splaying untidily over my chest.

There’s this feeling I’ve been chasing for years now, the feeling of having something normal. I pursued it with fervency, so relentless that I ended up losing this amazing woman beside me. Now as I hold her close in the wee hours of the morning, I finally feel it, yet what I feel isn’t normal. It’s intense and comforting at the same time, simultaneously heavy and weightless. Isabella is temperamental and feisty and spontaneous and unpredictable. Everything about her breaks the norm, so maybe I didn’t want normal. Maybe all I wanted was to bethisversion of myself. The version that is flawed but accepted, regardless. The version that has lived through trauma but is not defined by it.

Bella is the only person who has ever pushed me to be this version of myself. She’s never allowed my past to be an excuse for my shitty behavior. She’s always held me accountable, even if sometimes she’s been a tad extreme. I’ve just tied myself to another marriage, yet I’ve never felt so free. As my eyes begin to drift closed, I feel the warmth of relief wash over me because I feel like I can finally stop chasing.

---