Page 20 of My Infatuation with Isabella

I’m bored, leaningagainst the wall outside Dr. Burkman’s office. Isabella stands on the other side of the corridor, scrolling through her phone to avoid looking at me as she tries to pass the time. It’s not like our therapist to be late, but it’s already ten minutes into our session and she’s still not here.

I risk another glance in Bella’s direction. She’s dressed semi-formal today in a gray knee-length skirt, a plain black shirt, and a pair of gray and black heels. Her hair is sleek and straight, and when coupled with a thin silver choker and elegant silver earrings, it gives her overall look just the right amount of sexiness.

“Mr. De Lorenzo?”

I was so distracted I didn’t even notice Dr. Burkman’s receptionist approaching.

“Uh...hi, Pam.”

She looks over at Bella. “Ms. Diaz, Dr. Burkman sends her deepest apologies. She had an emergency with another patient and she’s probably going to be with him for another hour. She asked if you wouldn’t mind waiting until four p.m., or you could reschedule your appointment to Monday morning at eight.”

“I can’t do mornings,” Bella replies. “I have to be at work...so I’ll wait.”

“I don’t mind waiting either,” I add.

“Thank you for understanding. There’s a coffee shop on the ground floor. Dr. Burkman said you can go down and help yourself to some coffee or refreshments while you wait. Put it on her tab. Again, apologies for the delay.”

I look at Bella once Pam walks away and we stare at each other with thatshould we, shouldn’t wehanging in the air. “Do you...do you want to go down and have a coffee?”

“Not really...but it’s better than standing here waiting.”

“Okay.” I nod my head toward the elevator. “Are we walking?”

“Yep.”

We fall into step, and just the nostalgia of the words and the automatic synchronization of our movements brings about a sense of comfort and awkwardness at the same time. There’s silence as we take the elevator down to the ground floor, silence as we enter the coffee shop, and silence as we sit down at the small round table.

Taking my phone out of my pocket, I place it on the table, and a waitress comes by to take our order. I decide on a small muffin and a cappuccino while Bella orders a butterscotch latte. It gets to a point where the quietness starts to bug me, so I take the first step to initiate a conversation.

“So, did you get that job at the circus?”

Surprised eyes snap up to look at me as if she was expecting me to just sit here with her in this uncomfortable silence until Dr. Burkman arrived. “What?”

“On Wednesday, you said you and Tommy were going to apply for jobs with a traveling circus. Did you get it?”

“Yes, we did.”

That’s all the information she offers, so I probe further. “What did you do? I know you weren’t a trapeze artist or a juggler, so how did you get a job at a circus? And why?”

“It was a cheap, easy way to see the country,” she replies softly. “I was hoping we’d go to New York, but we didn’t go that far out, so it’s still on my bucket list. We still went through, like, thirty different states, though, spending a week or two in a specific town. The shows were only at night, so we went sightseeing during the day. And to answer your question, we weren’t the actual talent. We were more the...background talent. So, you know when they ask for volunteers from the audience? Tom and I were those volunteers. I was part of a few card tricks. Tom was in a few disappearing acts, just stuff like that.”

“That sounds like a flawed plan. What happens if someone comes to two or three shows? They’d recognize it’s the same volunteers each time, wouldn’t they?”

She sighs with playful arrogance. “De Lorenzo, you should know that Thomas and I are professionals who always commit one thousand percent to the task. So, we had eight different shows. I’m not the same volunteer each time. In one show I’m the volunteer for the flamethrower, in another show I’m the volunteer for the magician. The fun part was that I got to dress up as someone totally different every single time. I was shy and reserved with pigtails. I was sexy and provocative in tight leather. I even went all out emo, kit up head to toe in black with thick black liner and black lipstick.”

“No!” I shake my head, unable to imagine her like that. “I would pay good money to see you like that. I’m trying to picture it in my head, and it just doesn’t work.”

“Oh, trust me, it worked. I pulled it off like a boss! I even threw in that disinterested gum-chewing with some eye-rolling.”

She demonstrates this, and it takes just that to suck me in. She’s mesmerizing, and watching her makes me realize how much I miss being around her. Playful and vibrant, and this is the dulled version of her, the version that’s trying not to let me get too close.

“And everything went back to normal after the circus life?”

Wariness changes her expression. She’s still having doubts about whether she should even be speaking to me. “Not exactly,” she responds tentatively. “The tour ended in Iowa, so Tom and I decided to hitchhike back home. We made a deal that if someone picked us up, we would go as far as they could take us, and wherever they dropped us off, we’d stay there for three weeks before we hitchhiked to the next place.”

“How do you do that?” I ask, and even I have to admit that I sound a little awestruck. “How do you just throw caution to the wind and go off with no plan and no money? I can’t even fathom doing something like that.”

“Shut your lying mouth, De Lorenzo. You’re game for anything, so I’m sure you’d do the same. Besides, I can’t let fear of the unknown dictate my life. If I did that, we wouldn’t have discovered quaint little towns and met amazing people.”

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