Page 23 of My Infatuation with Isabella

“Well, aren’t you broody today?”

“I have a lot on my mind.”

We take the elevator up together, and she greets Bella with the same overly exuberant tone. We wait quietly while she unlocks the door to her office.

Anger management therapy: Session #10

“I can see both of you are grumpy today,” she says, walking around her desk to take a seat. “Let’s see if we can turn those frowns upside down, shall we?”

Just once, I’d like for Dr. Burkman to dial it back a notch. Her energy levels are always way too high, and her excitement is in far contrast to our annoyance and frustration. Today that contrast is blatantly obvious, and I’m more than a little tetchy when I sit down.

“So, why are both of you acting as if you’ve been sitting on a cactus for the last hour? You’re so prickly.” She giggles like it’s the funniest joke in the world. “Pardon the pun.” Her laughter slowly fades when she notices neither of us has cracked a smile. “Ooh, tough crowd. I feel like I wasted my best material on you. Okay...well, Isabella, why don’t you start the session? Tell me why you’re such a grumpy granny today.”

Bella flinches at the reference but doesn’t outright reject it. “Just the same old, same old, Doctor. Dylan lying and hiding and trying to play me. I guess I’m agrumpy grannybecause it isstillthe same old thing. I wish he’d try something new, like...being honest for a change.”

I shake my head and decide not to engage. With the mood we’re both in right now, this fight will get very ugly.

“I don’t know what he’s trying to get out of this.” Her tone is sarcastic, but the hurt in her voice doesn’t escape me. “It’s like humiliating me last year wasn’t enough for him. No, he has to keep going. He has to keep reeling me back in just so he can rub it in my face. He’s constantly trying to make me a fool.” She turns to look at me. “Well, you already got your revenge, Dylan, so you can stop now. My pride is bruised enough as it is. You don’t need to keep battering it into the floor.”

Screw this! Gloves off. Time to engage. I turn my chair so I can look directly at her. “What in the ever-loving fuck are you talking about? You think I slept with you to get revenge?”

“Didn’t you? I hurt you, and you wanted to get me back.”

I take a lot of shit from her, but that is truly offensive. “What kind of guy do you think I am? I wouldneverdo something like that!”

Our voices are rising, and it’s getting heated, so Dr. Burkman decides to intervene. “Let’s calm down. Breathe like I showed you.” She waits for us to do it. “Rub the pressure points...exhale...and relax.” She exhales with us. “And again.” We do the whole exercise once more and then she continues. “Okay, now let’s get to the bottom of this. Isabella, why are you so adamant that he would have sex with you as some form of revenge?”

“Yeah, Bella, tell her. Tell her the reason why you think I wanted revenge.” This is when my scalding anger comes out. “Tell her how you keep going around playing the victim, acting as if I’m making you the fool when we both know that the only fucking fool in this equation isme.”

Dr. Burkman raises her hand, and I already know the drill. I need to give Isabella a chance to talk without interrupting her, so I sit back and remain quiet while she speaks.

“So, when Dylan and I broke up, he was under the impression that I had slept with another guy.”

“And you didn’t?” Dr. Burkman asks.

Bella cautiously looks over me because she knows I’m still pissed about that. The years have done nothing to quell my rage. In fact, time has only made me more livid about this whole situation.

“I did not,” she admits sheepishly. “And this lie played out quite spectacularly...”

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