Page 27 of My Infatuation with Isabella

“At least you’ve cleaned up your act now. You’re a bit more wholesome and respectable...andmaking very good progress with Diego. I’m proud of you. Six months already.”

I don’t know how to break the news to him because he absolutely loves Diego. “Diego dumped me today, Tommy.”

“He what?” He immediately sits forward and tries to contain his shock. “And you just let him go?”

“Yes...What did you expect me to do?”

He is completely exasperated. “Fight for that rugged, sexy-ass man.”

“Why would I fight for him? It was nothing more than sex for me.” I sigh heavily as I think about it. “I think sex is the problem. I enjoy it so much that let it override the emotional connection...or lack thereof, then I end up staying with a guy just because the sex is good when I don’t feel anything for him.”

“What a ho.” He casually throws the comment out there before he sits back again. “Why don’t you try not having sex with a guy until such point that you have established an emotional connection with him?”

We both crack up, laughing our asses off at the ridiculousness of that comment.

“If I waited to find a guy that I have an emotional connection with, I’d end up being celibate for the rest of my life.” It’s only after the words leave my mouth that I actually consider that option. “You know what, Tom? That isn’t a bad idea.”

“What? You never having sex again? You won’t survive.”

“I’m not saying I’llneverhave sex, but I’m going to make a promise that the next guy I sleep with will be someone I have a deep connection with. No more free rides on my lust bus. No more screwing for cheap thrills. I want to be in love with the next guy I sleep with. I’m talking white-picket-fence, marriage material kinda love.”

Tom swivels in his chair, rolling his head along the backrest to look at me. “I don’t think you know what you want. Diego was damn near perfect, and you still weren’t interested.”

“I know what I want. Finding it is the problem.”

“Okay, indulge me. What do you want?”

I think about it, and I realize that it’s quite simple, really. “Tommy, I don’t have impossibly high standards. I’m not a high-maintenance kind of girl, so you’d think it would be easy to find a guy that meets these bare minimum requirements.”

“Well, what are they?”

“I want someone I can talk to. I want someone who can go out and have fun on aweeknight.Life shouldn’t wait for the fricken weekend.”

“I’ll drink to that,” he sings in the same tune as the Rihanna song.

“He doesn’t even have to be spontaneous, just not so...rigid. I want someone soft enough to be sensitive to my needs, but hard enough to take charge in the bedroom.”

“I love a man who can take charge.”

“Yeah...I’m not a small girl. I’m a whole lot of woman, and I want to feel like a guy can handleall that. He needs to show me who’s boss. I mean, there’s great sex, and don’t get me wrong, I’ve had great sex, but then there’s sex when you come out of it still moaning ten minutes later, and you’re, like, dayum...this motherfucker just owned me. I want sex like that.”

Tommy nods with understanding. “Oh, I know that kind.”

“I’m a lioness. I want a lion. But he’s gotta be a funny lion, someone who can make me laugh.”

“Your list is actually incredibly long and not very attainable. I mean...a funny, sensitive lion? Who can be all that?”

I ignore him because I know such a man exists. “And I want someone...who doesn’t mind making a total ass of himself, someone smart and caring and tender and loving and?”

“You want another Dylan,” Tommy cuts in.

The sound that leaves my body is borderline tearful. “I want another Dylan, Tom. Why is it so hard to find someone like that? Dylan was just...on another level. That guy was grade-A boyfriend material. I mean, he was just...everything.” I spend about three solid minutes listing all of Dylan’s great qualities, and Tommy rolls his eyes with disinterest. I think it’s because he’s heard it so many times before. “He was the type of guy who says things like...I don’t need a special occasion to give a pretty girl a rose. Where are the other guys like that?”

“You sound love-struck. It’s quite pathetic.”

I don’t argue that particular point because it’s true. “You know what’s messed up? I dated him when I wasseventeen. We were just kids, and grown-ass men just don’t compare to him. Not even close. And it’s not like I haven’t dated some amazing guys. As you said, Diego is damn near perfect. And do you remember Jonathan?”

“Hmm...” He sighs dreamily. “Jonathan made my ovaries melt.”

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