Page 42 of My Infatuation with Isabella

Her amber eyes burn with desire. She keeps them on me, waiting to see my reaction, and she smiles when my breath catches. My heart is pounding so hard I think she can feel it. The heat of her body entraps me, and I want to wrap myself in it. I want her arms clinging to me, her legs coiled around my waist, my dick thrusting inside her.

“I aired some very personal things to a whole bunch of strangers,” she says, stroking her fingers over my cheek. “If you think you can damage my pride any more than that, you’re mistaken. You know all my secrets now, De Lorenzo. Even though I had my reasons for doing what I did, I won’t deny that I regret losing you. I won’t deny that no other man comes close to you. I won’t deny that I miss you...that I yearn for only you.” She hooks her legs around the back of my thighs to yank me closer, and my breaths turn to shallow pants. “But at least I’m honest about it. I can admit that every other relationship I’ve had is empty because none of them compare to you. You, on the other hand, have always been the type to contradict your words with your actions. You say you love your wife. You say you don’t want anything from me, but you’ve already undone my buttons and pulled down my zipper. And in case you’re not aware, your hand is about to creep into my panties. I, personally, don’t think it’s worth it to throw away your marriage for a woman who means nothing to you.”

I do a mental check of where exactly my hands are, and she’s right. One is already skimming along the seam of her lace panties, so ready to dip inside to see how wet she is. That thought alone is jarring. I immediately rip away from her, taking a few steps back to reinstate distance and boundaries. It’s only when I see the state she’s in that the gravity of the situation hits me.

I must’ve been completely high on lust because I don’t even know when I did that. I haven’t just unzipped her jeans; her shirt is completely undone. What the fuck am I doing? My breaths are coming out hard and unsteady. I rake restless hands through my hair and just stare at her in silence. I’m a very faithful guy, so I’m shaken by the fact that I got to the point of stripping her in less than twenty minutes.

She sits up on the counter and doesn’t even bother to re-button her shirt. Her breasts are barely covered by the lacey cups of her bra, and it leaves nothing to the imagination. Her hardened nipples show how aroused she is...for me, and that thought turns me on even more. Unlike me, she’s not ashamed of the effect I have on her. She leaves herself exposed because she wants me to see what I’ve done; she wants me to know what I’m missing.

That’s her power-play. She took the vulnerabilities I tried to exploit and used them against me. She told me how she felt...how she still feels...and it’s messing with my head so much because I don’t know if she said all that just to get the upper hand again.

“Did you mean what you just said?” I ask.

“Every word.”

I turn away from her, running both hands down my face. I can’t even look at her anymore. Her face reminds me of everything...I shouldn’t want.

“Don’t waste your time trying to analyze this, De Lorenzo. You’re getting so upset about all this when everything worked out the way it was supposed to. You’re happy with Francesca now. You made the right choice.”

“Don’t,” I warn, my hands clenching into fists, my breathing rising with my temper. “Don’t you fucking dare! What did Ichoosein any of this? You wanted to end it, so you did. You just said,screw it. I’m done trying to make this work, and you took yourself out of the equation without giving a shit about what I wanted. You made that decision all on your own. You created this elaborate lie because it suitedyou. It was based onyourinsecurities. So, don’t you dare say that I made the right choice. I didn’t get a choice because if it were up to me, I’d still be with you.”

It takes a moment for the true weight of that statement to sink in, and I’m stilted with shock. Taking a further step back, I distance myself from her and cover my mouth with my hand. I can’t believe I just said that. Scott’s words come back to bite me. He said that there was a hundred percent possibility of me choosing Francesca because there was no alternative, and now, for the first time, I understand what he meant.

Empty silence stretches between us. I have no idea how to take those words back, so I don’t. “I love my wife,” I say.

“I know.”

“I do. I love my wife.” I see the hurt in her amber eyes every time I say it, but I don’t care. I want to hurt her the way she hurt me, and I don’t want to give her more ammunition for this power play of hers. “What we had doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.Youdon’t mean anything to me anymore. I love my wife.”

And even though I’m trying to take back the power, I end up giving it to her tenfold because I don’t even see that flash of hurt in her eyes anymore. “Careful, De Lorenzo. I’m starting to wonder who you’re trying to convince here.”

I decide to end it there. I make peace with the fact that I’m an amateur at this game, and I’ve lost. I said what I needed to say. Now I need to get over the fact that she lied and carry on with my life. This woman is deceitful, and I’m better off without her.

“I’ll see you around, Bella.”

I walk out without saying another word, and when the door closes behind me, I let it close on that part of my past as well. Someone should tell Scott that’s the type of closure I need.

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