Page 78 of My Infatuation with Isabella

Sydney:It’s the audio I find offensive. People are eating breakfast right now, Tom.

Tommy:Meeehhhpp! The dick has died. It just flatlined.

Sydney:Honestly, it sounded like he was already sick.

Me:I think you’re overreacting. I would have a problem with the person still having the emotional attachment to their ex, but holding onto tangible things is not proof that there are still feelings lingering. Feelings can linger with or without things. Things can linger with or without feelings.

Tommy:Okay, strong argument. Let’s get another opinion to weigh in on this. And we’ve got...Brock on the line.

Brock:Yo, how you guys doin’ over der?

Me:Great. So, which side of the fence are you sitting on? Are you axing the ex?

Brock: Yeah! You gotta get rid ofeverything. Cut her outta ya life. It’s the only way to move awn.

Me:Brock, where’re you from? New York?

Brock:Yeah, yeah, Lawng Island, but I moved to Cali ‘bout three munts ago.

Me:Oh, my God. I love your accent! I could listen to you all day.

Brock:I could listen toyouawl day, sweetheart. You sound real pretty.

Me:(Swoons) Iam. You could take me out sometime and see for yourself.

Brock:I wouldloveto.

Sydney:Wow! You are blushing!

Me:Guys, you don’t understand. I am a total ho for that accent. So, Brock with the sexy voice, you don’t think you can separate the person from the pictures or things they bought you?

Brock:No, I don’t. Tommy is right. You need to get rid of those things. And if you can’t get rid of them, it means you haven’t let go. Keeping those reminders can make you do stoopid things. You think you’re happy with your new girl, but then one night, you goin’ through some old pics of your ex and old feelings come to the surface, and then awl of sudden you’re sittin’ der crying with a bottle of chardonnay, holding onto the throw pillows she baut that you said you hated, but now it’s the only thing absorbing your tears.

Sydney:That’s pain on the highest level.

Brock:You’re eating pickles dipped in peanut budder because that was her favorite.

Tommy:Girl had weird taste.

Brock:You got ASAP Rocky playing in the background and you’re singing alawng ‘bout how you like bad bitches ‘coz she was your ride or die, you know?

Sydney:Little strange. I didn’t think anyone could ever take that angle to express their love for someone.

Brock:Then you gotta do a whole richual just to get the broad out ya system. Meditate or maybe even go on a sabbatical to another country to reconnect and find yourself again...because she ruined you.

Me:Brock, what in the Eat-Pray-Loving fuck are you talking about?

Brock:(Laughs) Awl I’m sayin’ is that shit can get real very fast when you’re holding onto things. You need to cut that out of your life. Burn the pictures. Get rid of the throw pillows. And don’t keep peanut budder in your house. Those things can become a source of depression.

Tommy:It sounds like you need some time to nurse your broken heart. Let’s try to lift the somberness. What’s your request for Flashback Friday?

Brock:Could you...could you play One Direction –What Makes You Beautiful?

Me:That’s a far stretch considering your tastes are more along the lines of ASAP Rocky. What’s your special memory behind this song?

Brock:The first time my ex told me she loved me was after I played her that sawng.

Me:(Freezes).

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