Page 82 of My Infatuation with Isabella

“Really? Can you show me?”

“Sure.” I turn slightly to show her the other side of my head and demonstrate how to do it.

“That looks so cool. And the pink in your hair adds some funkiness, too. I want to dye my hair, but I don’t know how it will look.”

“There’s a store around the corner from here that sells wigs and hairpieces,” Tommy says. “You can get a few clip-ons in different colors to see if it suits you before you dye it. Izzy and I go there all the time. It helps us choose a color.” He wipes his hands on a disposable refresher towel and stands up. “C’mon, let’s go for a walk. I’ll show you.”

Tommy holds out his hand, but Dana just stares at it. When she doesn’t react, he grabs her hand and lifts her out of her seat. Dylan immediately tenses, assessing Dana’s level of discomfort with the situation. I think the only thing that stops him from intervening is the fact that he doesn’t see Tommy as a threat.

Tommy casually throws his arm around her shoulder, and she stiffens. “You need to move your feet to walk.”

“I can come with you if you want,” Dylan offers to help ease her anxiety.

“Uh...no,” she replies, her voice a little shaky with uncertainty. “No, I think I’ll be okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah...I’ll be fine.”

Confusion wrinkles Tommy’s face as he glances between the two of them. “Dude, can you stop being so overprotective? We’re just going around the corner.” Keeping his arm around Dana, he starts heading toward the door. “C’mon, cuteness. I think purple’s gonna look really good on you.”

Dylan watches them leave. Clasping his hands together, he presses it against his mouth and exhales a slow breath.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“Nope.” He shakes his head. “I’m not okay. This is the first time I’ve let her out of my sight while we’re in public. Even when she goes to the bathroom, I wait outside the door, so I’m feeling a little out-of-control right now.”

“She’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, I guess...It’s just weird. She’s never reacted to a guy like that before. She knew Scott and Peter for months before she agreed to be alone with either one of them.”

“Tommy is half their size. Maybe she feels less intimidated by him.”

“Maybe. I need to stop worrying and let her live her own life...but it’s hard. It’s my job to look out for her, and I can’t seem to switch that part off. And Tommy is a touchy guy, you know. I’m just nervous that he accidentally does something that could trigger her.”

“Does she get triggered very easily?”

“Not so much anymore...but it does happen.”

I decide to broach the subject cautiously. “On Wednesday, you told Dr. Burkman that she’s a ticking time-bomb at Christmas time. Because of what happened at the grocery store, I understand whyyoumight get triggered at that time of year, but I don’t understand why she would.”

He doesn’t answer right away. “Did I say that? I shouldn’t have said that.”

He’s being cryptic and purposely vague again and this feeling is very familiar to me. I try not to react, but still end up sighing because I’m angry with myself. The warning signs were there before I even agreed to this date. I should’ve said no the second he deflected my question about the scar on his arm.

“You’ve somehow lured me back into the house again...and I think this is the part where you tell me that I only get three rooms. I need to stop falling for this. You’re never going to open up to me.”

He’s silent for a long time before he reaches over the table to take my hand. “I know this is frustrating for you, and I know you feel like I keep hiding things, but please understand that this is not my story to tell. I’ve told you everything she’s given me permission to tell you.” He squeezes my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles. “I’m really trying here. I’m trying to balance your needs with hers...and I’m sorry, but when it comes to this, her needs come first. She’s been through a lot, so your need to know is always going to take a backseat to her need for privacy. And maybe one day, when she trusts you a bit more, she’ll tell you...but that day may never come. And if you decide that maybe...you want to give us another chance, then that’s something you’re going to have to live with.”

I nod slowly. He’s mentioned this once or twice in therapy, but this is the first time he’s articulated his predicament in a way that I understand. “Okay.”

“Have you thought about...giving us another chance?”

I let out a loaded breath. “I don’t?”

“I told you purple would suit you,” Tommy says, sitting down beside me again.

I look over at Dana who has several purple strips discreetly clipped into her hair. “Wow. You look great.”

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