Page 200 of The Parkers' Handsome Holiday
“Your holiday spirit was gone?” I asked. Cayden nodded.
“Our fight kind of put me in a sour mood,” he explained. “But you dressed up like that quickly turned everything around.”
I laughed. I was glad that I had been able to turn things around. I felt awful after our little spat this morning, especially about what I told him regarding being in a relationship. I was such a bitch, and he did not deserve that. I had thought about it all day and worried that I had ruined things between us. I was glad that it was just a little bump in the road. Going forward, I would try not to let Brad interfere with things between us.
Suddenly, I heard voices in the apartment. I was startled at first but realized that they were coming from the open window. They were outside. They began to sing in unison.
“Christmas carolers,” Cayden said, as if he was reading my mind. I hadn’t heard Christmas carolers since I was younger. They used to come by our house. My mom never liked them, but my dad, sister, and I loved them. We would go outside and listen to them together. It was one of my favorite holiday traditions. The year after my father died, they showed up, but neither my sister nor I could bear to go outside. They never showed up again, and Christmas music was never the same for me.
I suppose that was when Christmas took a turn for me, after my father had died. Looking back, he was the glue that held our family together. He was the bond between all of us. He kept the traditions going every year and once he was gone, no one took his place. No one even tried. Sure, my mother got remarried, but her husband didn’t try to make any traditions with us. We were grown women by the time he came around. He wasn’t there to be our father, he was there to be a husband for my mother.
I closed my eyes and listened to the carolers sing. As much as it pained me to think about the past, I felt a bit of joy in my heart listening to them. Maybe this would be the year that I could actually enjoy Christmas, especially if Cayden was in the picture. Cayden reached over and grabbed my hand. I looked over at him, expecting a smile, but was surprised to see a frown.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him. He shook his head.
“Cayden,” I said. “You just told me that if we want things to work, we need to communicate with each other, and you are not doing that right now. Are you still upset with me?”
“No,” Cayden replied. “Everything was fine until the carolers showed up. They were Layla’s favorite thing about the holidays.”
Layla. She must be Austin’s mom.
“I know I haven’t talked about her much,” Cayden continued. “Layla was my wife. She died three years ago, right before Christmas.”
I was shocked. I hadn’t known Cayden was married, let alone a widower. I had always assumed that he was separated from Austin’s mom or that it was a one-night stand. I had never expected this.
“She was a singer herself, so she loved all things music. She would wait for the carolers to come and when she heard them, her face lit up like a Christmas tree. She would join in, too. It was always magical to me, like something out of a movie.”
I wanted to ask questions, but I could tell that it was a tough subject for him. Due to the way he spoke about her, I knew that he had loved her deeply.
“Is it weird for you to hear about her?” Cayden asked. “I haven’t dated since her, so I’m not sure what to say or not to say. She was such a big part of my life. I mean, she’s my son’s mother. I’m always going to have a connection to her, but I think I’m finally ready to move on.”
“It’s not weird,” I said. “Please, tell me anything you want to. Don’t tell me anything you don’t want to. I want you to be comfortable either way.”
He squeezed my hand and continued to talk.
“A few weeks after she had Austin, she started feeling bad. We chalked it up to postpartum exhaustion, but it didn’t get any better. She went to a doctor and we found out that she had a rare form of cancer that had already spread to more than one organ. It was so aggressive that it was too late to do anything. I kept her comfortable for as long as I could, but three days before Christmas, she could no longer hang on. Austin was only one.”
“I am so sorry, Cayden,” I whispered. I felt overcome by sadness for both him and Austin. I know Austin was too young to understand what was going on, but it made me sad that he was growing up without a mother. Although I had my differences with my own mother, I still couldn’t imagine growing up without her.
“It just feels weird,” Cayden said. “It feels like I am never going to get over it. And then, when I feel like I am getting over it, I feel guilty. That’s one reason I have been single for so long. I feel like I shouldn’t move on, like it’s a disservice to her and our marriage. But then, I know she would want me to be happy. I know that she would see how I am with you and want me to be with you. It’s just hard.”
I nodded and scooted closer to him. I wanted him to know that I was there for him, no matter what. We laid in silence, listening to the carolers. Finally, they stopped, and I opened my eyes to look at Cayden. He had tears in his eyes. I kissed his cheek and snuggled against him. Originally, I had been planning on leaving, but I couldn’t leave after this. I didn’t want to, either. We fell asleep embracing each other.
CHAPTER 23
CAYDEN
I had snuck into Tiffany’s women empowerment class and was watching her in awe. She was so confident in her words. She answered every question with a great answer. More women had shown up to this class and they were all listening to her. Some were taking notes. They were living for everything she had to say. She was a role model to these women.
I couldn’t stop thinking about how far she had come in such a short amount of time. It seemed like just yesterday that I was trying to pry answers out of her over lunch. I wasn’t sure what had changed, but I liked it.
I kept thinking about last night and how she took control of the situation. It was such a turn-on. I loved watching her ride my cock. She was an absolutely beautiful sight to look up to as I came. Plus, showing up in that Santa Girl outfit was extremely hot. The night was unexpectedly perfect.
I thought about after sex, too. I finally opened up to her about Layla. I had wanted to talk to her about Layla for a while, but I was scared. I wasn’t sure of what her reaction would be. To be honest, I wasn’t sure of my reaction. I thought we both did well, though. I was sure there would be more questions on Layla in the future. I would answer them honestly. I think she understood that I would always hold a place in my heart for Layla. It didn’t mean I would love Tiffany any less, though.
Despite her apology, I was still confused about our fight. She said she was stressed, but it still seemed like something more to me. I couldn’t figure out how she was fine before she left to get the olive oil and then returned in a bad mood. Maybe she had gotten a text from her mother or a work email that stressed her out? I would probably never know the answer, so I should probably stop thinking about it.
The room began to clap. Tiffany’s class was over for the day. Some of the women stood and walked toward her. Some still had questions. Others were eager to bounce ideas off Tiffany. I quietly snuck out the back door, not wanting anyone to notice that I had stayed for nearly all of the class. As I walked out, I bumped into Tim.
