Page 423 of The Parkers' Handsome Holiday
“That’s not a very elfish thing to say, Tinsel.”
“Will you cut it out with the Tinsel bullshit? It wasn’t cute when you came up with it six years ago, and it’s not cute now.”
“Rubbish. That wreath is gorgeous, miss,” I said, nodding at the woman with full lips and fuller breasts. “It really brings out your eyes.”
She blushed and giggled.
Tinsely smacked me between my shoulder blades.
“What?” I asked innocently. “I paid her a compliment. I’m just spreading Christmas cheer. Who thought between the two of us that you’d be Scrooge and I’d be the cute kid who made him change his ways?”
“Timothy,” she said.
“Who?”
Tinsely huffed and her breath fogged in the chilly night air. “Timothy, from Scrooge. You know, Tiny Tim? You referenced him, not me. Stop making small talk with all the women and move your ass up there. We need to get on the stage, witness the lighting ceremony, and get some pictures taken. Then we can get back in the warm limo and finally call it a night.”
Even though I was enjoying seeing Tinsely remarkably less cheerful than usual, I didn’t want to keep her out in the freezing cold longer than necessary. We had work to do, and I couldn’t let it fall through the cracks.
My future hung in the balance.
We approached the stage, where at the moment a choir of children sang a beautiful version of O Holy Night while holding electric candles with faux flames that somehow looked real as they flickered and danced.
We were met at the stairs to the right of the stage by a middle-aged woman, who I assumed was in charge of the whole event. She invited us up on stage. As soon as the choir wrapped up their song we were marched up to the microphone and given the floor.
Tinsely hovered at my side and slapped on a convincing smile. She shuffled her weight from side to side to keep warm, and a smile tugged at the corner of my mouth with every jingle of her shoes.
I addressed the crowd.
“Good evening, people of New York.”
The crowd cried back to me and I basked in the limelight of their attention.
“It’s so good to see you all here,” I said. “Now I know you’re used to seeing my father up on this stage, but this year things are going to be a little different. This year, you get me instead.”
The crowd cheered again, and the voices of women seemed to carry louder than those of the men.
“I’m pleased to announce that I have assumed my father’s mantle as Bamford’s Santa Claus this year, and here to kick things off on the right foot for tonight’s lighting ceremony with me is my helpful, cheerful, downright jolly sidekick, Tinsel the elf!”
Tinsely’s eyes widened and she hissed at me. “You son of a—”
I spoke over her into the microphone. “We have a lot planned for this Christmas season. Rest assured, you will be seeing plenty of us over the course of the month. But tonight, we don’t want to take up any precious time. You’re all here for the annual tree-lighting tradition. So let’s make with the lights, shall we?”
The whole block shivered with energy. The choir took to the microphone and their voices swelled together when, all at once, the tree came to life with fifty thousand lights. The crowd cheered and the whole block brightened. Spotlights shined silhouettes of snowflakes, reindeer, and candy canes on the surrounding buildings.
I turned to Tinsely. “Not bad, huh?”
Her back was to me and she stood staring up at the tree. I stepped up beside her as she tilted her head back and smiled up at the tree. It was the first time since she’d put the elf costume on that she’d smiled, and I had to say, she looked beautiful in the starry glow of the Christmas lights.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she breathed.
I searched the tree and wondered what she saw there. I only saw lights. “It’s bright.”
“It’s magical.” Her voice had a dreamy quality to it as she clasped her hands together under her chin. “It’s officially the Christmas season in New York. Doesn’t it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?”
“No, but that woman with the wreath pin did. Where did she go?” I turned back to the crowd and scoured the faces. She had to be there somewhere, and I’d need someone to help me out of all this velvet back at my place.
Tinsely grabbed my hand in hers and led me to the stairs to leave the stage. “We’re still working, Santa. We have pictures to take and a marketing campaign not to soil. In other words, keep it in your pants. This is a kid-friendly affair.”
