Page 309 of The Parkers' Handsome Holiday
Ethan chattered away about Bailey for a little while, about how much he wanted to ski with her and about how he was going to draw another picture for her. Then, he continued talking about his ski club and school and other things. But my thoughts were stuck on Bailey.
I knew I shouldn’t have kissed her. I had known all the reasons why not to before I had done it. But I had to think that if things felt so right between the two of us, then maybe there was some reason for it. Some way that we could make things work out. It was definitely going to take a bit of work, though; that much was obvious.
Trouble was, I didn’t want a relationship with Bailey more than I wanted this job. I needed to keep my job; there was no option about that. I couldn’t go jobless for the rest of the winter, but neither did I think I would have much luck finding a new job at a ski resort in the middle of the season. And definitely not at one of the local ones. But I didn’t want to move either; I didn’t want to pack up and uproot Ethan from his school and his ski club.
What a mess.
I tried to fall back into the rhythm of shoveling and to forget all about her, but I could still hear Ethan’s words echoing in my skull; Bailey was the best woman that he had ever met. That was another complication to the relationship. If things went south, I didn’t want Ethan to lose Bailey. But I also didn’t think there would be much chance of hiding a relationship from Ethan. He was a smart kid; he would figure it out. Especially since he was at the ski resort nearly as often as I was.
And way more often than Ian was, come to think of it, yet somehow Ian had managed to catch Bailey and I in the middle of our first kiss.
I sighed heavily. “Me too,” Ethan said, sighing exaggeratedly and leaning against his small shovel.
I had to laugh at that, at least.
We finished up shoveling and did a few other chores to while away the afternoon. After a trip to the grocery store, I gave Dad a call to invite him over to play on the PowerBox with Ethan while I cooked dinner for the three of us. He came over a little while later, raising an eyebrow at me. “You got taken off the schedule again,” he said, not sounding surprised.
I nodded at him. “I know I never should have kissed her in the first place, but if you were in my shoes, what would you do now? Should I just show up there and talk to her? What if Ian’s there?” I knew that Dad wasn’t the best person to have this conversation with, but I didn’t know who else to talk to about it.
It only brought home to me how much had changed in recent years. I hadn’t talked to Ian, my closest male friend, in forever, and now that Beth was gone, I felt isolated. It wasn’t entirely my fault: it was hard to keep up relationships with the amount of work that I did and the fact that I had Ethan. Not to mention the fact that life in Park City had gotten more and more expensive over the years and a lot of the people that I had once known there had moved away in search of better pay and cheaper cost of living. But I started to wonder if maybe the real trouble was that I just hadn’t made enough of an effort in a while. I really should try harder to keep friends in this town. Maybe I was just too much of a loner.
Anyway, Dad finally shrugged. “I think it depends on what sort of outcome you’re looking for,” he finally said.
“I never should have kissed Bailey,” I said, shaking my head. “I need this job. That’s the only outcome that I’m worried about.”
Dad stared at me for a moment, and at first, I thought he was going to say something about how work shouldn’t be the be-all, end-all in my life. But of course he didn’t say anything like that. This was my father, who had raised me to be hard-working above all else. Instead, he shrugged again. “If that’s what you’re worried about, then you need to do whatever it takes to make sure that you get to go back to work soon,” he said. “If you’re worried that you may no longer have a job, just remember that the sooner you know for sure, the sooner you can start looking at other options if necessary.”
With that, he headed off into the house to find Ethan. I mulled over that, knowing on some level that he was right. If Bailey was going to fire me, best that I just get it over with, rather than hanging in limbo, hanging out around the house doing chores. I probably should have already started looking into my other options, submitting applications to other positions at other mountains. Or figuring out what it would take to qualify for other mechanical positions around Park City.
I knew the reason I hadn’t started that already, though; as soon as I started looking into positions elsewhere, it meant that I had admitted that things with Bailey and I were over, and that my job at Brooks Mountain, the job that I’d had for what felt like forever, was gone. I didn’t want to admit either of those things, so I kept holding off making any decisions.
I had done that once before, I knew. When Beth got sick, and when Beth died, I had refused to acknowledge the fact that anything had changed, at least at first. But it was impossible to live like that long-term.
CHAPTER 27
BAILEY
I hated that I had to take Adam off the schedule for the whole weekend. We could really use him around the resort, even just to ease my nerves: I kept imagining all the terrible emergencies that could happen while he wasn’t here. One of the lifts could go down again, and I would have to call him back in. Coming on the heels of the Dasher lift malfunction, it would be a nightmare. Even though no one had been injured and the lift had been back up and running in less than an hour, it was just something that we didn’t want to have to deal with.
But I could tell that Ian still hadn’t cooled off, and I didn’t want Adam and Ian to get into something because of me. I kept thinking that Ian and I would talk more and that things would calm down. Once that happened, I could have Adam come back to work as normal.
The trouble was, Ian seemed to be almost avoiding me. Oh, he was everywhere around the resort, right where I could see him. He chatted with guests, employees, everyone. He charmed the pants off everyone he met. But he didn’t seem to want to talk to me about anything. And it wasn’t like I could march up to him and tell him to get the hell out of there.
Inwardly, I was starting to fume. How dare he come in here, acting like he was the one who owned the place? I had wanted him to stay through the holidays, but now I was starting to regret that wish. If he were back in Vegas, he wouldn’t be able to pull any of this shit.
How to tell him that, though, without sounding pissed? He was still my brother at the end of the day, and I knew he was just doing what he thought he needed to do to help me. He was just making sure that my business didn’t go under since I took over. But I also remembered what it had been like, working for the family casino business. I had never been allowed to have as much responsibility as I thought I could handle, and this was turning into just another instance of that.
But I wasn’t working for the family business anymore, and it wasn’t fair for him to treat me as though I was.
Again, how to approach that topic with him?
Finally, I just shook my head and let him at it. He had to get back to Vegas eventually. Let him do whatever he thought he needed to do here, and in a couple weeks, he would be assured that things were running smoothly and that he could leave me to it.
I was just glad that he couldn’t fire Adam in the meantime. We didn’t have anyone else who was qualified to work on the ski lifts, and I doubted he would be able to find someone who could now, with the season already started. I knew it wasn’t really fair to cut Adam’s days since that would affect the amount that he was paid, and right before the holidays, too, but we would figure something out there, Adam and I. Maybe he would get a nice Christmas bonus, or maybe a long-term raise. Maybe both.
I just had to make sure it didn’t look like nepotism to the rest of the employees. Like they didn’t think it was just because Adam had kissed me. But it was the kind of move that I would do for any of my employees. If they needed my help, I wanted to be there for them. I hoped everyone understood that.
Even though at the moment, it felt like I was doing the opposite of being there for Adam.
