Page 56 of The Parkers' Handsome Holiday
I could feel his eyes on me as I gazed out at the view. “You know, this might sound crazy, but I feel lucky. I get to see this for the first time twice.”
Cal nodded. “Yeah. You do. You’ve always had a better way of looking at things than most people.”
I leaned back on my hands and stared at his back as he continued to look out at the city. I studied the line of his jaw and his shoulders, the way his Adam’s apple moved when he swallowed. Something strange unfurled itself within me. It wasn’t recognition—or anything to do with me regaining my memory—but it was something I hadn’t felt before. Or, at least, I didn’t have any memory of feeling it.
It was like a needy heat forming beneath my belly and radiating outward, and looking at him made it grow. I liked it, and yet wanted it to stop, all while wanting it to grow in intensity.
I swallowed when he looked at me and met my gaze. “Are you all right?” he asked. His voice was deep and husky.
“Yes,” I said. My voice sounded thin and weak, the opposite of his in every way.
He arched an eyebrow and smiled. “Good.”
I licked my lips as he looked back down at the Christmas Eve special twenty floors below. The carolers had switched to a song I didn’t know. “Cal?”
“Yeah?”
“What happened to my family?”
He looked over his shoulder at me. Then he draped his arms over the railing. I sat up straighter and did the same, resting my cheek on the back of my hands as I looked over at him. “I’m sorry, Lina, but your parents died a long time ago. Your father died just before you went to high school, and your mother passed away less than a year later. You lived with your best friend and her parents.”
“Did you know my mom and dad?”
He shook his head. “Not as well as I wish I had. I met them a few times, but we were just kids at the time. Your dad was a joker. He got a kick out of embarrassing you in front of your friends any chance he got. And your mom was really sweet. She was one of those ladies who always had home baking on the counter. She wanted to share everything she had with everyone.”
“They sound nice.”
“They had to be. They raised you. And you’re nice.”
I smiled and looked down. “Thank you. I wish they had known you when we dated.”
“Me too. But you had stand-in parents who did. Their names were Neil and Judy.”
“Were?”
“Well,” Cal said, flicking peeled paint from the railing and watching it drift away. “Judy is still around. She has her hands full at the moment, but we’ll see her sometime soon. But Neil passed away in the spring.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Life is shitty like that sometimes.”
“Like what happened to your wife?” I asked.
He nodded. “Exactly.”
I sighed. “Can I ask you another crazy question?”
Cal laughed and leaned back. He shook his head at me. “Stop saying they’re crazy. None of your questions are crazy. In fact, I feel like you’re not asking nearly enough of them.”
“Okay. Well, this one feels weird to me. Are—are we a couple now?”
Cal’s expression shifted. His brow creased, and his eyes fell. “No, we’re not.” There was a story of despair behind those eyes of his and in his voice.
I had been right in not wanting to ask the question.
Cal looked down at the lights again, and neither of us said anything for a long while. Even though I could feel the shift in the mood, I could also still feel the uncanny friendship between us. Even way up here, away from everything and everyone, I felt safe. I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be.
When I went in for my check up, I was going to ask my doctor if that was normal. Surely, it couldn’t be. People in the same situation as me must never feel safe. The confusion and disorientation must prevent that. But for me, it was different. And I knew it was because of Cal.
