Page 119 of A Dirty Business
I exploded over him.
The waves erupted through me. They were almost violent in their power. My whole body was shuddering, quaking in the aftermath, until I melted into him.
He held me, his other hand smoothing up and down my back in a calming, comforting motion.
I didn’t want to move. My whole body was a pile, no bones.
He never urged me to move. He just kept caressing me, holding me.
I might’ve fallen asleep. Or not. I didn’t know. Time had ceased in this little sanctuary we took.
He pressed a kiss to my forehead, his free hand tracing some of my hair aside, tucking it behind my ear. “I want to say things to you right now, but I can’t. I don’t dare, but ... just believe in me. That’s all I can say. When it’s safer ...” He let his last statement hang between us, and as much as I hated to hear it, as much as it let in the cold again, I knew he said it for a reason.
I pulled back, nodding. I began to climb off of him, but he caught me again. He pressed a hard kiss to my mouth before letting me go. “I’ll be in touch. I promise.”
I wasn’t my job right now. I was a woman. Maybe that was my eternal struggle. Between what I did and who I was—but I let everything fall away as I stared at him right before opening the door. There were words I wanted to say, things I felt but couldn’t say, and because of that, because of what we both did, I let them go unsaid.
I opened the door, stepped out, and walked inside.
I didn’t look back, and I didn’t once break down.
Not until I was inside.
Not until I saw that Kelly was sleeping soundly on the couch.
Then I went to my room. Closed the door softly. Went to my bathroom.
Turned my shower on, and there, I fell.
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
JESS
March passed.
He wasn’t in touch.
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
JESS
April passed.
I tried calling. All his lines were disconnected.
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
JESS
May.
I would’ve blocked him if I had a number to block.
I didn’t.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
JESS
