Page 162 of A Dirty Business
“I have to go. I need to do ...” something. Anything. I needed to not be here. “I don’t know. I just can’t be here right now.” I shoved forward, but Trace reached for me.
“Hey.” He stopped me, his hand resting on my hip.
My skin burned where he was touching me. I didn’t want to be touched right now, but that wasn’t the truth. I did. I needed it, but I didn’t feel worthy of being touched. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I fought it, taking his touch.
I soaked it in, needing it, and I touched him back, resting against him.
“Hey. Hey.” My mom came forward, her voice insistent. “Listen to me. Okay? Just listen.”
I turned, slowly.
Now she looked how I felt moments ago. Uneasy. On edge. Cautious.
A twinge of desperation lined her voice too. “Listen. I thought you knew about your man helping me. I did.”
“I asked to come see you. I wanted to be there for you. You blocked me from the visitor list.”
“I know.” She grimaced, her face twisting up. “I was going through a lot. The therapy dredges up everything. I didn’t want you coming and seeing me going through that because I didn’t want to do more damage. I know how I am, how I can be. I wasn’t handling everything the right way, you know, where I take accountability. It’s easy for me to lash out, especially at you, but I’m wrong to do that. I needed to go through everything and get a grip on myself before seeing you. I just didn’t want to hurt you anymore. I’ve already done so much to you. I’m sorry, Jessie. I am.” More tears were sliding down her face, but her voice was strong.“I’m happy you’re here, and please don’t leave. Please. Stay. I ... I got a lot of years to make up to you. Let me start by, I don’t know. Making new tea? How about that? I’ll make you that chai stuff you like.”
It was so ludicrous that I barked out a laugh. “I hated chai tea. Isaac liked that stuff.”
“What? He did? You didn’t?”
“I didn’t. Never. I like the sweet tea you always make, but not chai tea.”
“Oh. I never knew that.”
Oh, good Lord. And I was actually talking to Him. Some of the tension eased from me, like a leaky toilet bowl. It was messy. So much crap had happened inside it, but it was slowly emptying out. Such a waste in some ways too.
“You’ll stay? This tea you have is good. I can work with it, make it like the sweet stuff.”
“Okay.”
“You’ll stay then?”
I nodded. “I’ll stay.”
Her smile was blinding.
I didn’t know this woman. I don’t think I ever met her in my life. But I shared a look with Trace and went to sit at the table while she busied herself in the kitchen.
I think I wanted to get to know her.
CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE
TRACE
Ashton:I know you’re still enraged with me, but you need to call me. We got movement happening and I’m not totally sure what it all is.
I got that text and eased out of the living room. Jess and her mother had cooked a meal together. There’d been a good conversation over the dinner table, and now both were on the couches. A movie was on the television. Each had a blanket over her lap and a bowl of popcorn in hand. Plus, sweet tea. Lots of sweet tea being drunk between the two of them.
I knew Jess had questions for me about being the one to push for her mother’s treatment, but all in all, it didn’t matter. I had high hopes for their relationship being mended.
I called him from the burner phone when I went upstairs to Jess’s bedroom.
“Where are you?” he asked, answering.
“What movement are you talking about?”
