Page 42 of Our Forbidden Romance 1

“Oh, don’t you look at me like that, Mr.,” I say, wagging my finger at him. He grabs my hips, bringing me to him and turns me around, blocking me between the wall and his body. His naked, wet, muscular body! Mmm, fuck! No! I need to take control of this situation.

I open my mouth to talk, but I don’t manage to get a single word out because he presses his lips to mine and we share a heated kiss. Any other thoughts disappear from my mind, and the only thing I can focus on is his lips and how amazing his are. I snake my arms around his neck and kiss him back. Ezra presses himself to me, and I am like putty in his hands. Damn it!

He parts from my lips, and moves his head in the direction of my neck, but I rest my hand on his chest, pushing him away, needing a distance between us if I want to keep my senses.

“Ezra, what did you mean? Please tell me?” I plead, searching his face, trying to work out what is on his mind.

“Why do we need to talk about it? Talking, opening up and sharing feelings ruins everything. Can’t we just pretend like I never said anything and go back to how we were?” I swear I see fear in his eyes, but I don’t know the cause of it since he won’t talk to me.

“Back to how we were? We can’t because unless we talk things through this will never work, Ezra. Can’t you see that? I can’t keep being second best or the one who ends up sleeping alone because you have someone else waiting for you.”

With each word the sadness in his eyes grows, and he steps back. “Why does anything need to change? I don’t like change.” He shakes his head, stepping out of the shower.

I bang my head gently against the tiled shower wall, groaning with frustration. I wish he would just say what he was thinking rather than changing or avoiding the topic. My gut tells me his last statement stems from something more than what is happening between us.

I sigh, running my fingers through my wet hair and switching off the shower, climbing out. I strip my wet clothes off and wrap a towel around my body. When I arrive back in the room Ezra is sitting on the edge of the bed and putting his clothes on.

“You are leaving?” I ask annoyed.

“Yes. As you said I have someone waiting for me.” Sarcasm is dripping from his voice.

“Ezra, don’t start. I am not in the mood to argue with you, not today.” I am tired of fighting with him. I swear it feels like every day is a battle.

He stands without a look at me and heads for the door without another word. He places his hand on the handle, pausing. “Can’t really fight with someone when there is nothing to fight for, Alana.” He shakes his head and walks out the door.

What the fuck does that mean? I run after him, not caring I am only in a towel, but he has disappeared by the time I arrive at the elevator. He must have taken the stairs or something. I sigh, put my head down, and return to my room.

I reach for my cell to call him but he rejects my call after one ring. I try a second and a third time, but he does the same thing. I toss it on the bed out of anger. Why does he need to make everything so damn complicated? I only wanted to chat. I wasn’t asking him to fucking marry me.

I understand it is hard for people to open up, but there is something about Ezra that makes me believe he has purposely closed himself off. The way he acted, the things he said, and the change in his mood when I suggested we talk. I wonder if it has anything to do with his past since he mentioned he was adopted. No, he didn’t go into a lot of detail, but something must not have been right with his family and his life before was adopted. I know I won’t get the answers to these questions when he chose to walk out or avoids the topic.

I think it is time for me to leave here because with how he left, I don’t know if he will ever come back. It feels like he broke up with me, even though we aren’t in a relationship. It hurt watching him walk away. And the thought of him disappearing from my life is one I don’t like. My feelings for him have grown stronger. Something I didn’t realized until I watched him leave.

I need a nap and time to think. I need a plan before I can do anything because I don’t want to sleep on the streets. Done that before, and it was scary. I don’t fancy doing it again.

“What the hellis wrong with you, Ezra?” Bella sighs in frustration as she climbs off me. We were going to have sex, but I couldn’t get hard, something which has never happened to me. We have been trying for the last twenty minutes, and nothing helped.

“I don’t fucking know. It isn’t like I am doing it on purpose,” I snap. I have a feeling what the cause is. I don’t want to have sex with her, and the only person on my mind is Alana.

I regret leaving the hotel the way I did, but I couldn’t go back, not after the way I stormed out. I came home instead, had a couple of drinks and called Bella because I needed a distraction. Yes, it was a dick move, but I needed to do something.

“I swear if this becomes a problem I am done. I refuse to be in a relationship with a man who can’t fuck me.” She sounds disgusted as she speaks.

“You know where the door is.” I climb out of bed and head to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. I make quick work of dressing while I wait for Bella to take off.

I should be embarrassed, but I am not. I know it’s because I’m with Bella. If it happened with Alana, I would be ashamed. The difference with Alana is she wouldn’t say the shit Bella did because she has a heart. I hear Bella storm off and I exit the bathroom.

I pace my bedroom, wondering if I should go back to the hotel before Alana leaves, because I don’t think she will feel comfortable staying there if she thinks I am not coming back. Maybe I should try calling her first, but I rejected her calls multiple times, so she may not even answer. I search for my cell, finding it under my pile of clothes on the chair. There are no missed calls or texts from Alana.

I take a deep breath, hitting call on her name, but it goes straight to voicemail. Her phone must be switched off. Damn it! I sigh, pulling some clothes on and rush out. I am fit to drive. If I had drank more I would’ve gotten a cab.

I drive as quickly as possible, pulling up at the hotel, but I can’t bring myself to climb out of the car. I close my eyes, trying to pull myself together. I haven’t felt this nervous in a long time. I finally find the courage and step out. My stomach is in knots, and my hands are shaking. I clench my fists to try to stop it.

I tried to work out what to say on my way here, but the words escaped me, so with any luck I’m hoping they’ll come when I am in front of her, or I will just look like a stammering idiot.

“Hello, Mr. Barclay. I have a letter for you. Your guest left it earlier,” the receptionist says, motioning me over. Does that mean Alana has left? I really hope not because she has nowhere else to go.

I rush over and grab the envelope. “Did she check out?”

---