Page 233 of Screwged for Christmas

She stiffened. “Damon. I told you tonight only and tomorrow I’m gone.” She climbed off the bed and searched for her panties and bra then slipped into them and her jeans as she rushed into the bathroom.

White light filled the small bath as she flicked the switch. Shallow breaths came fast and hard. Dots flickered across her vision.

Panic attack. Damn it why now? She growled under her breath. Cold water to the face helped calm the quakes of fear in her chest but she still felt light headed.

Large hands grabbed her shoulders and twirled her around. “What? What is it? Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Why are you breathing like that?” His questions peppered her one after the other hard and fast.

Nerves bubbled in her belly. For a long moment she couldn’t speak, but instead stood there like an idiot.

“I am so sorry, angel. Talk to me,” he said more gently.

“No. This was not your fault. Please just let me leave.”

He calmed. “You don’t need to run you know. I won’t hold you here, but you don’t have to leave either. There’s nothing to be scared of.”

“Scared?”

“Yeah. Scared. You look like a rabbit caught in a snare with the wolf right around a tree.”

His eyes brightened at the hint of challenge.

He shrugged and the daring flash in his eyes died. “Or maybe you should. Maybe you’re not all that into me and don’t know how to say it.”

Her mouth slacked open.

“Or,” she countered. “Maybe you’re not into the whole doctor thing? I get that a lot and the famous ‘it’s not you sweetheart you’re just not the right fit’.”

His face pulled into a scowl. “Don’t go putting words I didn’t say into my mouth.”

Damon palmed her face with a gentle touch. “And it would be any fool’s loss to turn you away,” he whispered roughly. The incredulity in his voice soothed some of her nerves. “Idiots, all of them and if they can’t see how special you are, that’s their problem. But something has fear in your eyes and I don’t think it’s me. And don’t go trying to find excuses that aren’t there. Talk to me.”

Slowly, she slid her hands down his arms to settle on his. “It’s more complicated than I can voice right now.”

His features tightened.

She barely had the fight left in her if he kept looking at her like she was the world for him. Her mouth creased into a deep frown. “This is not some sappy holiday movie, Damon. Insta-love doesn’t exist and insta-families much less.” Disgust left a sour taste in her mouth and dissolved any trace of the high she experienced under his experienced touch. She didn’t want anything permanent, but the ache his touch quieted left her wondering what if.

He stroked a thumb across her cheek. “I’ve claimed you, angel. You can walk out of here right now, but that doesn’t make you any less mine.”

Ivy turned back to the mirror. She didn’t recognize the woman staring back at her.

Damon stepped up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders with a pleading look in his eyes. She hated that look. Hated it yet couldn’t bring herself to calm the nerves in her gut long enough to ease the guilt she knew ate at his insides.

“Why do you keep calling me that, Damon? angel?” Her gaze floated over to his in the reflection of the mirror. “I’m no one’s angel. No one’s beautiful anything. I’m just another girl, normal as they come.”

“There’s nothing normal about someone as special as you and if you don’t believe that then you’re not looking close enough.”

She turned and he leaned in, resting his hands on the counter, which pinned her in place. “And you are an angel. The kindest soul I’ve ever met.”

“I’m jaded, cynical and if my supervisor is to be believed I like to play God.”

He pulled back. “What the hell does that mean? Play God?”

“You want to know why I’m outta here tomorrow?” She pushed at his chest and he let her pass. Maybe if he knew the truth about her then he wouldn’t want her so much. He would erase the claim he thought he had over her and she could be done with it. Done with him.

Her heart fell a little bit at the thought of never seeing him again.

She walked the perimeter of the room, turning every single light on and then made her way through the rest of the apartment. Anything to shed the romantic vibe that wanted to cling to the place.

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