Page 328 of Screwged for Christmas

“It’s beautiful, Aspen.” His smell was intoxicating and ever damn minute she drew breath the more she needed him. He pulled away and stood beside her looking down as she turned to him.

“Not as beautiful as you, baby,” he whispered for her ears only.

She shivered. Not from the cold but the slow kisses he teased her neck with. Mrs. Howard and her husband stood off to the side in each other's arms. The Murphys and Wilbers the same. To have a love that lasted so long, that was truly something of a wonder. To know someone always had your back—would always be there for you.

Ivy’s lids slipped closed and for one second she wanted to believe in Christmas wishes. Her mind drifted to the ever powerfulwhat-ifquestions that seemed to riddle her mind since stepping back into Dixen.

What if she’d never left, would he have left? Would she be happily married to Aspen? Would his brother still be alive? The questions went on and on like a mental Rolodex.

From beneath the curtain of her hair, she studied him as he studied the handiwork of his lights. Handsome, rugged most would say. Fighting fires weren't always easy on the body. A few patches on his right hand proved that. She’d also noticed the calluses on his palms, from his year as a hotshot no doubt. They felt great against the body, but she was sure the work that put them there was intense. It had to have been a hard life. Exciting at times and adventurous, but hard nonetheless.

She pulled away and Aspen’s arm slipped from around her. All the dangerous questions and trail of thoughts wouldn’t do either of them any good. She wanted to ask questions she had no right to think, ask, or much less make a Christmas wish of.

“Aspen, I can’t do this.” She took a step back, hating the look of disappointment in his eyes as she shifted to face him. Crunching snow was the only sound between them for a few seconds. She saw the questions he wanted to ask in his expression without him needing to voice them.

“You feel it too, don’t you?” Rough and tight. She used to love the way his voice changed when they were alone. Now it reminded her of what she could have had if she’d stayed and married him instead of running off out of fear like an idiot. She thought wearing his ring would have tied her down. But she’d been young and ambitious with a plan and a scholarship.

“I know you feel what I feel. No more running, Ivy Sunday,” he growled, taking a step closer like he wanted to throw her over his shoulder if she dared try to run.

The look in his eye told her not to push him.

“You run, this time I'll catch you, and when I do, I’ll cuff you to my bed.”

Her face flushed.

“You like that idea don’t you, baby? Being tied to my bed. Think of all the dirty things I would do to that beautiful body.”

“No.”

“Liar.” he chuckled low. “Just like you craved all my cum this morning.”

She groaned and quivered in places she didn’t want to quiver. Her body definitely thought one thing and her brain another. Her heart wanted him, but she had a plan and not until less than twenty-four hours ago did anything ever involve Dixen, Alaska or a big dix man.

“Come here,” he purred using that same tone that broke down her defenses.

She cursed softly under her breath. “I’m sorry, Aspen. I didn’t mean to give you the wrong impression. What I feel and what is right are two different things.”

“What I see is the woman I never forgot, never got over standing in front of me needing help. Look at me, Ivy Sunday.”

She raised her gaze to his.

“Don’t walk away this time.”

Her back went rigid. “I didn’t just walk away, Aspen. Besides, I think there’s a lot about both of us that has changed, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I get it you wanted the big city life and I was cool with staying right where we were. I didn’t make you as happy as you wanted back then, I get that. But don’t think for a second we aren’t perfect together.”

“Sex was never the problem. We were too young, too inexperienced back then and I got scared. I wanted to live life and...and—”

“And what baby girl? Don’t worry about hurting anyone’s feelings say what’s on your mind.”

“I fucked up, Aspen. I loved you and I walked away from that and I’m afraid there’s no way you can ever love me again. I almost married another man a month and a half ago. How could you ever want me now?”

She had no idea she had so much pent up until she spilled every last word between them.

Her confession had him burying his fingers in her hair and tilting her head up until their gazes locked.

“People change, Ivy Sunday, but not so much as to forget what—who—is important to them. You, your family, my family. All of you are important. You know that. A few years away won’t change that. The past is just that. When I was buried inside you this morning, I didn’t think for a second about what we had. All I could think about was what I felt for you. What Ifeelfor you.” He reached between them and stroked a thumb down her cheek and she leaned into the warmth of his touch.

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