Page 343 of Screwged for Christmas

“I’m cuter, though.” She winked and Ivy laughed.

“I’ll be down in five and you better hold two of those for me.” Ivy pointed at the sugary breakfast as she rounded her bed toward the private bathroom each of the rooms had, thank God too because she would die if anyone besides her gran saw her looking like she went a round with a weed-eater.

Ivy made quick work of brushing and pulling back her hair then picked a pair of jeans to go with her favorite red hand-knitted sweater from her newly found suitcase. When they had arrived home from the town Christmas party they had found it on the doorstep with a note from the airline.

“Small miracles.”

Ivy slipped into the warm material of the sweater with a sigh. Gifted to her by her mom last Christmas, each stitch held a copious amount of love and she would need every last thread of it to get through the day.

Back in the bathroom she took a couple of extra minutes to work magic with some mascara, and a couple of wipes and dabs of concealer to hide the dark proof of no sleep under her eyes. “As good as it gets, girly.”

Ivy found her gran parked on her spot at the island with her favorite mug and Max lounging by her feet as she entered the kitchen.

“We went halfsies on that second bear claw that was supposed to be yours. Sorry ‘bout that but the coffee is freshly brewed.”

“You did warn me. Five minutes tops. I took ten.”

Gran nodded with a smile. “So now what are you going to do?”

“If I knew that I wouldn’t be moping around here, Gran. Aspen isn’t returning my calls.” She leaned on the counter and placed the mug down between her hands. “Everything I’ve done so far has turned out wrong.”

“Not true.” Her gran’s matter of fact tone brought her gaze up from the steamy cup of java. “You graduated college, have a business of your own and clients that adore you and will chase you down from opposites sides of the continent. That stands for a heck of a lot more than you think, sweetheart. When your grandfather and I started this B&B we didn’t know what we were doing, only that we had a beautiful slice of heaven on earth and wanted to share it with the world.”

“You guys were the perfect couple. I used to love watching him bring home flowers for you every Sunday after church. He’s said it was because he loved to see you smile.”

“That man knew the way to my heart.” She looked around the place. “There are so many memories here and if we hadn’t listened to our gut back then we would have missed something that turned out more than we could have ever hoped for.”

“My gut lies, doesn’t know north from south and would lead me into a desert to die if I listened to it.” Ivy didn’t mean to sound so depressed, but she couldn’t run from the truth anymore.

Gran laughed until the curlers in her hair bobbed and jiggled. “It’s not that your gut was or is wrong, sweetie, or has a death wish on you. Aspen has made you feel things again and it’s scaring you. Just proves you’re human.” She reached out and patted her hand softly. “It’s that you haven’t stopped to listen. It’s all beengo go goand you never took a step back to reconsider that long-winded plan of yours. To think, is this the right plan for me?”

“I listen all the time. I write down every plan I have.”

“You write down major to-do lists. Your to-do lists have baby lists as if they got together like bunny rabbits and multiplied.”

Ivy harrumphed. She was right and it stung more than a little.

“All that doesn’t mean you really listen to your inner voice or have a plan. Goals maybe, but no real plan on how to get from point a to point b. If you take a beat and listen to what your heart is telling you things would be different. Take it from me, sweetheart, life isn’t all about plans either. Detours happen and some would be missed if you didn’t take a second to consider them. Your gut is the mouthpiece for what really matters to you. It has direct contact to your emotions and brain.”

Gran sat up a little straighter and pointed to her head and heart. “Think of it this way. It’s the mediator between the two. Your planner is only your head talking. What about your heart?”

“Oh.” That made more sense of everything than anything she’d heard in a long while. “I don’t know who I am without my plans or goals, Gran. I’ve needed them for so long.”

“Not true. Did you have a plan for this whole week?”

“Not one.”

“And it turned out just fine. Dig deep, sweetie. Where’s the Ivy that dropped everything to build a gazebo in the middle of the summer with the love of her life? No plans, just having fun with the people she loved?”

Love of her life? He was and she feared he would slip away from her because of that damn Lewis. “That Ivy is buried under a pile of responsibility.”

“Really? Last I checked you worked for yourself. Since when do people selectively choose to stress out their lives consciously?”

She pursued her lips. “You think I’ve done this to myself?”

Gran nodded. “And you can undo it too. You just have to recognize what needs changing and make a conscious decision to do something about it. Sweetheart, what I’m saying is you have the power to change everything. You are your own boss in all the sense of the word. Listen to what your heart says.”

“Oh, Gran. I’ve messed up haven’t I?”

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