The sound of car doors slamming had me rushing to the front to see their faces. I’d plugged the lights in, even though it wasn’t full dark before I started cooking.
When I opened the front door, Ace stood out front holding Addy’s hand, her eyes round and full of tears.
I rushed over and crouched down. “Ace, what’s wrong?”
“It’s like a storybook.” She whispered; awe filled her voice. “Mommy and I used to drive through the old neighborhoods and look at the lights.”
Lifting my hand, I wiped away a large tear that fell down her cheek. “Your mom loved Christmas. She told me it always held magic and promise.” I looked up at Addy when I heard a sniffle. “Come on, let’s get inside. Dinners almost ready and after I thought we could go get a tree. Gran’s ornaments are all ready to go.”
Ace turned to Addy. “You know the best place to find a tree?”
“There’re some good places in town. But the best is just outside of town at a tree farm. It’s been a few years since I’ve been. But I can look them up and see if they are still open so you and Bear can go.” Addy nudged Ace into moving. “I’ll unload the bags while you two do your thing inside. I bet Bear has loads to show you.”
“It’s okay, we’ll all go in. After dinner, I’ll unload while you look the place up.” I trailed after them. They ooo’d and ahh’d as they walked inside, seeing the garland wrapped around the stair rails and hung over doorways and across the fireplace in the family room. I’d set the tree stand in the front window.
“Bear, this place is incredible. How’d you get it all done in the few hours we’ve been gone?” Addy asked while Ace went over and tore into the plastic tubs filled with Christmas decorations. “And seriously, you two do the bonding over trees. It’s a family thing.”
“My friend Benson came over.” I watched Addy close. Did she not like spending time with us? Taking a big breath, I did the stupidest thing I could ever have done. “I’d like you to come with. Ace adores you and it might be weird, but you’re like family to us. I know I take advantage of your free time and can’t pay what your time’s worth, but we like having you here… With us.”
God, I’m a total spaz. What happened to the secure man who didn’t have to work hard for a woman to look his way? If he saw me now, he’d take my balls.
A small smile tugged at her lips. “Okay. I’ll go with you guys.” The memory of those plump lips wrapped around my cock flashed in my mind.Gah… I needed to get my head on straight and stop thinking about sex like a teen.
“Ms. Addy, look at these snow globes. They’re so cool.” Ace held one up.
The buzzer went off in the kitchen. “Hey guys, dinner in ten. Ace, you want to set the table?” I asked, heading to stir the chili and pull out the cornbread.
“Okay!” she yelled before her footsteps pounded toward the small dining room.
* * *
Addy was right.The tree farm was perfect. It was a little chilly, but not too bad.
A cart full of hay bales and pulled by horses took people to the areas which were okay to cut a tree from. I didn’t know what kind of tree most were, but the fuckers were huge. Ace’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she saw them.
Little eyes, so much like my own, turned to me with a pleading look. That was all she had to do. Turn those sad hazel eyes on me and I’d do anything for her.
It was when Addy suggested we take the ride to scope things out, then come back for hot cider; they both turned, looked at me and I knew I was in trouble. Between Ace’s hopeful smile and Addy’s laughing vibrant blue eyes, I caved faster than a sinkhole.
“Bear, this place is so cool.” Ace whispered as the horse’s feet clomped on the hard ground. She tucked closer to my side, looking around at the cute Christmas light displays scattered among the trees. “Can we get a tree here?”
“Of course. When we get back to the shop, you and Addy can grab us cider and I’ll hunt down a saw. Then we can come back out and you’ll pick one.” I wrapped my arm around her slim shoulders, covered in the purple poofy coat she’d picked out in Virginia before we’d moved here.
Addy bumped her shoulder into mine. A huge grin spread over her face; her cheeks rosy from the chill in the air.
Damn, was she beautiful. My heart thudded in my chest. The glittering lights reflected off her slick black hair, giving her an angelic glow. If I believed in angels, I would have thought she was one. Out here, next to my daughter, laughing at the silly and sweet light displays, she had me falling down a dangerous path of what if.
What if she fully moved in with us and we had these moments every day?
What if we dated and eventually married?
I shook myself out of the fantasy. Addy might enjoy hanging with us, but she was going places. I would never admit this, but I’d read the two stories she gave me to help with the cover art. She had real talent. Being a mom or stepmom wouldn’t leave as much time for writing as she had now. I couldn’t saddle her with a ready-made broken family.
* * *
Something was off.Addy sat stiffly with Ace at the picnic table, her eyes darted around. When she spotted me, I saw both of my girls visibly relax. Both were paler than normal.
I set the small ax on the table, sitting on the bench next to Addy. “What’s going on?”