Page 8 of Come Back to Me

As Jack and I enter the room, Alex is on her cell with a panicked look. “Your mom,” she mouths.

I mime sleeping to her and walk into my room. I can’t handle my mother right now! I know this whole incident with the cops and me fainting, and God only knows what about Cole Parker… will hit the fan soon enough.

“Mia, are you okay? I mean, I can’t imagine… how come you never told me?”

Jack’s face is sincere; he’s looking at me like a wounded animal. I hate that look, but how can I tell himthat’sthe reason? I don’t want to see that look of pity and worry, the look where all fun goes to die. I can barely stand to see myself and the mess I’ve been hiding behind a mask for eighteen months. How can I let someone else see the disaster inside?

Something in the way Jack looks at me is strangely comforting and unnerving at the same time. I know it makes no sense, but I can’t tell how much of my reaction to him is paranoia after the ordeal with Carter Williams, or actually a response to Jack himself. I like him, I’m tempted by him, I appreciate him being here, but something keeps holding me back. I am not ready to let him in. Now he knows what happened last year, and that changes everything.

Having Jack see me beneath the surface makes it too real, so real that I want to scream until my voice gives out. I wish he had known me before, so my present self wouldn’t be the version he has to face.

I crawl into bed and Jack tucks me in. I’m sure he can feel my hesitation at his touch, and he goes and sits in the chair next to the bed. I give him a small smile, hoping he can feel my gratitude.

As my eyes close, only one face appears… Cole Parker.

When I wake, it’s early and I’m alone in the room. I can hear the hum of life outside the door but I’m not ready to face it yet, so I take my time showering and dressing. Honestly, I’m still bruised and sore, so I couldn’t really go any faster even if I wanted to. I sit down at the small vanity in the bathroom, to gather my thoughts and go over my well-crafted plan.

When I enter the living room of our suite, I see everyone and by everyone I mean Alex, Jack, and my mother being soothed by a chronically concerned Richard.

“Hi Mom, hi Richard.” Suddenly I recall throwing Richard to the wolves by suggesting the police speak with him yesterday, but what did he expect? I can’t remember half of what happened to me last year. I only know I’ve been a basket case ever since, and I’m fairly certain that everyone looking out for me is keeping me in the dark. Why, I have no idea, but I’m going to figure it out. I may be nuts, but I’m not stupid. Besides, there wasn’t any possible scenario where I would bare my personal hell to those two detectives in the middle of the Four Seasons lobby!

My mother crosses the room, envelops me in the warmest cocoon of a hug, and says, “Sweet girl, I’m so sorry you were questioned. Don’t worry yourself. Everything is going to be okay…”

I pull back from this thousandth attempt to reassure me and make direct eye contact with Richard. His look is certain, knowing, and decisive. He has taken care of things and there will be no further concern or discussion.

No, no, no, no!!This is not in my plan! I try to stay cool as everyone speaks of their combined relief that the situation is over. How can they see anything as over? Carter Williams is FREE. And Cole Parker saved my life… Why on earth would he do that? I have a thousand questions, but can’t say anything because I don’t want them to become suspicious of my plan. I quietly review the steps in my mind…

Step one, find Cole Parker. I realize he may not want my drama showing up in his office, but I need to see him. The urge is overwhelming. Somehow, he keeps popping up every time I am near danger, physically and emotionally. First I need some reassurance that he is real, and then I have to thank him, I guess.

Alex comes over to my chair, squeezes my shoulder, and smiles. “I know this has been an awful week, but I am so down to find another apartment. Time to move out and move on!”

I smile back, but I’m panicked. I can’t look for apartments until I look for Cole Parker. I can’t move on until I understand what’s been happening to me. I need answers.

Step two, find out what Mr. Parker knows about the attack in the alley. I can understand him not wanting to be a part of this investigation, but I was stalked and attacked like an animal and everyone here is trying to act like all is well, so maybe he can pony up some details.

Now it’s Richard’s turn for a reassuring hug. It seems unnatural for him to hug me, forced, but he does, and his next words strike me to the bone, “that monster will never get near you again. Never! I’ve made sure that Carter is back where he belongs. You are safe, Mia.”

Step three, take care of Carter Williams, once and for all. Enough is enough. If I believe what my therapist says, I am not his victim. I am my own heroine and the time has come to rid myself of Carter the demon. It isn’t up to Jack to hold my hand, or Richard to keep me protected in some princess tower. I need to somehow free myself from Carter Williams so he can’t hurt or scare me again. This part of the plan is the least thought out… spontaneity is essential. Premeditation is always key when sentencing happens in a murder trial.

Ineed to come up with a reasonable excuse to get out of the room and away from everyone for the whole day. I need to find Cole Parker and get some answers before Richard and his team of lawyers effectively tie my hands and force me into compliance. I don’t know what Parker will be able to tell me, and I don’t know why everything Richard does is so hush hush. I trust my stepfather and know he only wants what’s best for me, but I’m sick of being kept in the dark and treated like a child. I may be rattled by all that’s happened, but I’m a grown woman with a brain.

“I have a session with Dr. Roth today,” I interrupt the conversations around me. I stand to pick up my purse. “She agreed to meet with me spur of the moment, considering the circumstances.”

“Of course, darling. Please, take the town car. It’s parked downstairs. I don’t want you going in a cab alone.” Damn, I hadn’t considered the hired heavy. I need to think quickly of a way around Richard’s driver.

“I won’t be alone, I’ll be with Jack. Right…?” He eyes me curiously but doesn’t hesitate, “Yep!” With Jack’s confident smile, Mom and Richard are sold.

As we walk out of the hotel room, Jack grins, “Are you going to clue me in?”

“I just figured we could use some alone time. Is breakfast together ok?”

“Absolutely.”

At breakfast, I make a plan to drop Jack at his apartment so he can shower and grab some clothes while I go off to my fictitious therapist appointment.

Despite myself, I have fun at breakfast. There is definitely something happening between us, a bond. It’s just, I’m not ready—or willing—to lose any more of myself. Jack is great on paper, but too much too soon. I can’t. The timing is all wrong.

“Hey, where do you go, when you drift off?”

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