Page 273 of Dirty Discipline, Vol. 1

She pulled at Mara’s arm, trying to get her walking, but Mara didn’t move. Children were trained to obey the colony leaders from birth. It was too dangerous on an untamed planet otherwise, but something had broken inside of her and she knew that she would not—could not—do this. It didn’t matter what the consequences were, she was just going to have to deal with them.

“No. I can’t.” Her voice shook.

“What?” The advocate stopped and gave her a confused look. “Of course you can, Mara. Be a good girl.”

“No,” Mara repeated.

“I’ve tried to be nice about this, young lady, but you’ve signed the forms. You have no choice. Now you can either walk on your own like an adult, or I can have you dragged there. Either way you will be implanted by the end of the day!” Her tone no longer held an ounce of warmth.

Jesk’s expression was filled with anger and frustration as she lifted her wrist-com and tapped the emergency button. Mara’s eyes widened, and without thinking she turned and ran. She didn’t expect the advocate to follow.

Jesk was far from elderly, and all colonists were healthy, but like most of the advocates, she was overly aware of her position. Chasing a runaway through the streets wasn’t exactly decorous. Maybe she felt like she had a personal stake in getting Mara to the clinic, because she did follow.

Mara wasn’t exactly sure how it happened. One moment she’d been cornered by the agriculture greenhouses, where she’d run instinctively, the next she was screaming and swinging wildly at her advocate. Flight mode hadn’t worked so it was time for fight, and purely by accident she managed to land a solid blow to the woman’s face.

She heard the crunch of Jesk’s nose breaking, saw the dark blood spraying, and stopped. Complete shock took over and she stared as the woman covered her face with both hands and screamed. Two proctors came charging up and they too stopped and stared. They’d probably never seen an advocate hurt like that before; Mara was in shock herself.

They were visibly torn on what to do and stood there looking uncertainly between the two women until the advocate snapped at them to grab her. Mara had disjointed images of being dragged away, but they were distant as though they belonged to someone else. She wasn’t even sure where they were going to take her.

Crime wasn’t really a problem in the colony and small misdemeanors were punished with restrictions and extra work cycles. No one really needed to be locked up, but the medical clinic was a surprise. She began to struggle when she realized where they were going. At that point she was afraid they were planning to have the doctors implant her, she didn’t realize that was no longer an option. There was a prick of a needle stinging her arm and then everything went dark.

When she woke up later, she was in a hospital bed. Her wrists were tied down and she couldn’t move. She was alone, but an older woman bustled in almost as soon as she opened her eyes and Mara recognized her immediately. She known Doctor Lahn her whole life.

“Hello, Mara. How do you feel?”

“I-I’m not sure. Tired mostly. What happened? Did I get hurt?” She had a feeling like she’d forgotten something important, but she couldn’t remember what.

“Not exactly. Your advocate was bringing you to the breeding center to be implanted with your first pregnancy and you had a bit of an… episode.” The doctor was giving her concerned looks as she moved around the bed checking vitals. “Sometimes it takes the memory a minute to catch up after a sedative. Do you remember?”

Mara frowned and then her eyes widened. “Oh no,” she breathed out. She did remember now, and it wasn’t good. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I really didn’t. I was just trying to get away and she grabbed me. Is—is she okay?”

The doctor gave her a faint smile. “She’ll be fine. Her nose has already been reset and will heal. Everyone understands that it was an accident.” Her expression turned serious and Mara’s heart jumped in her chest. “Advocate Jesk tells me you’re refusing to be implanted. Can you tell me why?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t want it. I’ve been working on an exciting new plant strain and I don’t want to put it off for eight years to have children. I don’t even like babies that much, to be honest,” she confessed. “Please, can’t you give me a waiver or something?”

The doctor hesitated and then she took a seat on the bed next to Mara. There was an odd look on her face, part sorrow, part worry and it made Mara nervous. “I’m afraid there’s a little more to it than that, Mara. I suppose it won’t matter if I tell you this,” she said, sounding resigned.

She gave Mara a long, searching look and then shrugged. “The fact that you don’t want children is troubling, you see. Because you should want them. You should be excited and eager to be implanted, like all of your age mates—but you aren’t and that’s an issue.”

Mara bit her lip, tilting her head. “It can’t be that unusual. Some choose to be Aunties,” she pointed out.

The doctor nodded, “On rare occasions someone will choose to be an Auntie but there are usually other factors, fears that they can’t get over. Underneath that they usually do want children. They just feel they shouldn’t have them. With you there seems to be a complete ambivalence to the idea of being a mother and there really shouldn’t be.”

Mara frowned; her eyes narrowed. “You’re telling me that no one else feels that way?”

The doctor reached out and set her hand on Mara’s arm. It was meant to be a comfort, but it didn’t feel that way. “I’m saying that no one but you can feel that way.”

Mara had trouble believing she was the only one. “I don’t understand. Why not?”

“Because the drugs that we seed the food with prevent it. You won’t remember this, Mara, but when you were very young there was a rebellion. The colony was almost lost as a result. We’re here alone, far from our home planet, and all we have is each other. After the near loss, the colony leaders decided that some changes were needed. So now the daily meals are filled with chemicals that enhance certain things like obedience and biological imperatives. It didn’t always work on the older residents, so we established the choice to become an Auntie, but it’s had a perfect success rate on your generation …until now.”

It was explained so matter-of-factly, like there was nothing wrong with controlling people by drugging their food, but Mara was horrified. Her mouth dropped open, but no words came out.

“I know it’s a shock and we don’t normally tell anyone. Even most of the advocates don’t know, but I decided to make an exception in your case,” Doctor Lahn said.

“Why? Aren’t you afraid I might tell?” Not that she thought it would do any good. Everyone else but her seemed fine with how things were run.

“No, no I’m not.” The doctor sighed. She was silent for a second and seemed to be gathering the energy to say something. Finally, she straightened and looked her patient right in the eye. “Mara you’re being exiled from the colony.”

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