Page 307 of Dirty Discipline, Vol. 1

“You are, Dom.”

“That's right. That means it's not over until I decide it's over.” With that, he started paddling her again, his hard slaps unrelenting in their intensity and speed.

“Stop, Dom! Dom! Dom, stop! No! Dom!” It was not the pain so much as the helplessness and her inability to get away from the pain that caused her to panic. She started struggling wildly to get off his lap. She couldn't breathe. She felt like she was having a panic attack. Just when she was at the point of completely freaking out, he stopped spanking, flipped her over and cradled her in his arms.

“Shhh, shh. You're all right. You're just scared. You can trust me, Kate.”

She struggled to get off his lap.

“No,” he held her easily. “You see, that's why I wasn't finished.”

She didn't see anything. She couldn't see what the hell he was doing, or where he got off hurting her like that or not stopping when she asked him to. She was scared. And she was pissed. And she wanted to get the hell off his lap.

He pressed a hand firmly over her sternum, his eyes studying her with concern. “You're okay, Kate. Do you want me to take the pain away?” he asked gently.

She swallowed. That would be with vampire hypnosis. But yes, he needed to take it away right now. She nodded.

“Look into my eyes.”

She obeyed and the pain was instantly gone. The pain was gone but not the swirling emotions. He was still watching her closely. “Please let me go, now,” she said in a small voice.

He blinked at her. Then he shook his head. She felt panic and rage rise up again. “Are you going to do that to me again?”

He shook his head. “Not unless you want me to.”

“I didn't want you to do it in the first place!”

“I know.”

Then why did you do it?

“Why did I do it?”

She hadn't asked the question aloud, but somehow he'd heard it. She stared at him sullenly.

“I did it because I know you like to be dominated and there's a certain release that can result from getting spanked to tears. You seemed pretty wound up, so I thought it might help. Obviously we didn't get there.” He shrugged. “I don't know, I probably shouldn't have tried it—we don't have that kind of relationship established. There's not enough trust between us.”

She stared at him open-mouthed as that sunk in. She was shocked. She had expected some sort of lecture about her bad behavior. Somehow hearing that he'd been doing it for her changed things.

“You're not mad at me?”

He shook his head. “No, bambina. When I'm mad, you'll know it,” he said, dangling his index finger and middle finger down in front of his mouth to indicate fangs.

She smiled reluctantly. She considered what he'd said. “What kind of release?”

“I don't know—spanking can be a way to let go of stress or guilt or even self-loathing you might be holding.”

“Catharsis.”

He nodded. “I would say it's one part catharsis and one part surrender. You must trust me enough to know I'll take care of you when you let go.”

“Do I get a safe word?”

He shook his head. “No. It's about surrendering your control. You have to believe I know how to read your limits.”

She looked at him, considering that.

“I got it right this time, didn't I?” he challenged.

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