Page 369 of Dirty Discipline, Vol. 1

“Right.” Audrey cleared her throat. “I, uh, was wondering if you could answer a question for me.”

The teacher halfway smiled. “My dear, I have been employed in this capacity for almost forty years just so I could do that very thing. What would you like to know?”

She tapped two fingers on her desktop and tried not to look too crazy as she mumbled, “Can spiders grow big enough to eat people?”

Mr. Russell’s bushy white eyebrows arched up into his hairline. “An interesting question.”

“One that’s going to have a very interesting answer,” Morgan said out of the corner of his mouth. Elbow on the desk, he cupped his chin in the palm of his hand and leaned into it while he listened. “This is my absolute favorite part of the whole movie. I remember smoking stuff that was good enough to give me epiphanies as convoluted as this.”

“Can spiders grow big enough to eat people?” the science teacher mused, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “You know, I’m not entirely sure that they can’t. There are some species of tarantula that live out in the desert, which can grow to be as big as a fist or more. I’ve heard of a species in Africa that’s as large as a dinner plate. I suppose it is conceivable, if given enough food, shelter, the right growing conditions, and of course let’s not forget the undeniable influences of a nuclear waste facility, such as the one we have just two short miles down the road—”

“Naturally,” Morgan said, winking at Audrey.

“Nuclear waste facility?” she echoed.

“I suppose anything is possible,” Mr. Russell finished. Then he laughed. “Although highly unlikely, my dear girl. After all, ours is a world of science. For a spider to grow large enough to become a significant danger to human beings, well now… that would be the discovery of the twentieth century! But I’m certain if such a monster did existed, we’d have seen some sight of it by now.”

“Absolutely,” Morgan said, nodding.

“It would have been all over the news. We could read all sorts of articles about it in our morning newspapers.”

“Absolutely.”

“Rest easy, my girl,” the teacher patted her cheek. “There is no such monster living on this world. And certainly not in this town.”

“Oh boy, did those ever sound like famous last words,” Audrey said as he turned and walked away.

“They were,” Morgan said cheerfully.

Folding her arms on top of her desk, Audrey dropped her head down upon them. She groaned. “He seemed like such a nice man, too.”

Morgan patted her shoulder. “Try not to get attached.”

“Is this the scene where we get attacked for the first time?” Audrey huddled close to Morgan’s side, constantly scanning the forest of trees and underbrush that shadowed both sides of the unpaved road. It was night, and the only thing that either of them had to protect themselves against any eight-legged creatures that might go ‘bump’ in the night, were a pair of flashlights. “Why not just hang a sign around our necks? Free spider kibble, while supplies last.”

Morgan only smiled. “Relax. We don’t get attacked for another couple scenes yet. Remember, B-Flicks generally start off slow and work their way up to suspenseful—and yet, oddly enough, hokey—endings.”

“So why come out here?” Audrey asked.

“We’re looking for your father, remember? Where else should we start but where the first large spider was sighted?”

“The first spider?” Audrey whipped around to stare at him. “How about a million miles in the opposite direction?”

They rounded a bend in the unpaved road and Audrey saw two things. First, her truck was where she’d left it: crashed against a tree with the driver’s side door wide open and the lights still on. Good battery, that.

Secondly, there was a sixteen-foot spider web stretched across the road between the vehicle and themselves.

“Oh, shit!” Audrey jumped back, but a wide-eyed scan of the surroundings revealed no menacing web-builder anywhere in sight. “What does it hope to catch, a Buick?”

“This,” Morgan said, gesturing to the web, “is our first real evidence that things are not all rainbows and joy in our lovely little town. Take a good look at it. Tell me what you see.”

Reluctantly, Audrey shone her light over the web, following strands that were as thick as her forearm from one side of the road all the way over to the left, where the loose ends were tied to a tree. She blinked twice. “Is that a clove hitch? Is our spider a sailor?”

“Takes some of the scariness right out of the situation, doesn’t it?” Morgan patted her back and then went over to the tree. “Whatever you do, don’t touch the web.”

Unwilling to be left by herself on the open road in the dark, she followed him at least as far as the web. While Morgan began to dig around in the bushes, she shone her flash light on the strands. For the most part, they looked like ordinary lengths of white rope, sprinkled in glitter that made the web almost sparkle under the light of the half moon. She glanced over at Morgan’s back, then stuck out her hand and touched the nearest strand with the tip of her finger. The glitter must have covered glue because the instant she made contact with it, her finger stuck to the web. And it stuck fast.

Audrey glanced at Morgan’s back guiltily and tried to pull her finger free. She pulled until it hurt, but the web refused to let her go.

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