Page 49 of Dirty Discipline, Vol. 1

For the first time, Hallie sees a flash of anger in Traci’s eyes, but she quickly tamps it down. Her voice doesn’t betray her irritation when she speaks. “Like I explained to you on Saturday, those of us choosing to live here see a very wide divide between things like beating and abuse and what we practice here.”

“So if not beating and abuse, what words do you use?”

“Discipline. That can take the form of many things, but there is one key difference in my mind.” She stops, making sure Hallie is paying close attention. “To me, a beating as you are thinking of is done to hurt someone. To tear them down. It makes them feel bad or humiliated. A beating is done to make someone feel powerless.”

Hallie butts in. “Exactly. So why would you or Aunt Gina allow that. You both seem way too smart for that.”

Traci smiles indulgently. “Well, thanks, but you just made my point for me. I’m not sure I can speak for your Aunt Gina and certainly not for every TiH resident in Eagle’s Pass, but I know that most of us feel that the discipline provided by our HoH is the antithesis of what I just described as a beating. We know how much our they love us. They don’t like to make us feel pain, but they know that the discipline they provide is helping us to grow and feel safe. Let me ask you a question, and you don’t have to tell me what, but have you ever made a mistake that made you ashamed of yourself or feel guilty for days or weeks later?”

Several stupid mistakes of her youth come to mind. “Well sure. Haven’t we all?”

“Exactly. How great would it have been if you could have put that behind you right away and felt less guilty while learning your lesson not to make that mistake again?”

“Is this a trick question?”

“No. I’m just telling you that’s what I get out of domestic discipline. I like being held accountable and knowing someone cares enough to notice and correct me if I screw up. I don’t think there could be any more intimate thing to share between a couple.”

Her use of the word intimate surprises Hallie. “So…” She thinks twice about her question. Traci catches it.

“Go ahead. Ask. I can tell you have something you want to ask me.”

Hallie’s question is soft. She hates the flutter in her core as she recalls the vision of Traci on the receiving end of Troy’s discipline. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but what in the world could you have possibly done that could have made it okay for Troy to use his belt on you?”

Hallie regrets asking the question immediately. The blush on Traci’s face grows deeper as the seconds pass. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have asked that. I don’t want you to feel guilty.”

“That’s the thing, Hallie. I don’t feel guilty anymore. Troy helped me understand my mistake and even why I made it and I’m positive it will never happen again. I’m so lucky Troy was here that night. I shudder to think what would have happened if he hadn’t been.”

“What, it could have been worse than being belted?”

“Unfortunately. Listen, I’m not proud of this and under normal circumstances, I would tell you it’s none of your business, but you and I got off to a rather strange start. I feel bad that you seem to think that my brother is the devil incarnate for spanking me. Can I trust you to keep what I am about to tell you confidential? It would be very embarrassing for me should it get out and more than that, I’m afraid it could damage the confidence the people in Eagle’s Pass have in me.”

“Wow, that sounds pretty serious. You don’t have to tell me, Traci, but if you do, I would never tell anyone. It’s none of their damn business.”

“Friday was my thirtieth birthday. A few of my friends had taken me out for a very nice lunch to celebrate, but everyone had plans that night and I confess, I was feeling sorry for myself that I was turning thirty and haven’t found my Mr. Right yet. I decided to go out to celebrate on my own. I went to a bar and flirted and ended up picking up a stranger. Worse, I was stupid enough to drive home after drinking several drinks, but had Troy not been here waiting, who knows what that guy would have done to me once he got me alone here in my house.”

“Holy shit. When you cut one loose, you do it good.”

“I’ve never done anything like that before, and I’d like to think that I would have never done it ever again regardless, but Troy being here just made sure I’ll never forget the lesson.”

Hallie feels weird even asking. “So… Troy and you. I mean, wasn’t it weird? He’s your brother, right?”

“I know what you are thinking so let me stop you right there. Troy had never given me a spanking before, and I pray he never has to ever again. It was a one-time deal for us. You just have to know that we grew up in a DD family. Our parents were the best example of a loving marriage based on respect and love. It carried over to our whole family. We all knew that Dad was the head of our house. Like Troy said, if Dad had been here waiting for me to get home that night, I wouldn’t have sat down for a week, and the scary thing is, he’s probably right. Troy was easy on me compared to Dad.”

She may not understand why, but the flutter in Hallie’s tummy has migrated lower as the discussion has continued. “So you really aren’t mad at him?”

“Mad? No. I love him for being brave enough to do what he knew I needed that night. I’m embarrassed that he caught me making one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made. I’m worried that it might make things a little weird between us for a while, although he stayed the weekend and everything seemed back to normal by the time he left.”

“So, my Aunt Gina really does let Uncle Adam spank her too?”

Traci looks more uncomfortable. “I think you need to talk to her about that, Hallie. Even if she and I had discussed it in the past, I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about that with you.

I’m sure you understand. I do encourage you to talk to her about it though. More importantly, I’d like you to watch the couples and families as you interact with them here in town. Then compare what you see to many of the other people you’ve met in the past, and then we can talk about the differences you notice, okay?”

Hallie’s heart has spiked. “What the hell? You mean everyone spanks each other out in public for everyone to watch?”

Traci is laughing at her again. “No silly. Well, I guess you might see a swat here or there, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean to look at how happy everyone is. How peaceful things are. Outsiders think Eagle’s Pass is more violent because we believe in corporal punishment but the irony is, the discipline we follow actually keeps angst to a minimum. That’s what I’d like you to see if you can pick up on and maybe we can talk about that on Wednesday when we get back together.”

The women talk for another thirty minutes before Aunt Gina joins them for a final coffee. Hallie’s head is swimming with new information by the time she heads to her new home with Aunt Gina. She has so much to think about.

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