Page 52 of Dirty Discipline, Vol. 1

The flash of anger in Traci’s eyes surprise Hallie. “Are you kidding me? You are nothing like your mother. Don’t you dare say that again. I know you loved her and she didn’t deserve the hell that Gene put her through, but she has to take some responsibility for her own choices. You, on the other hand, escaped the cycle of abuse not only once with Gene, but you refused to put up with any violence from Eddie. If you were a battered woman, like your mom had been, you would still be on that tour bus right now, putting up with Eddie’s escalating violence until he gets the help he needs to straighten out his life. You did all you can do for him. It took great strength to pick up and leave everything that you had known for the last few years, especially not really knowing you had a safe place to go to.”

Traci’s words have a direct hit with Hallie, and she is suddenly filled with optimism for her future for the first time in a long time. She’d been feeling like she was a failure for running away from the tour, but Traci has held up a mirror, forcing her to examine the last few weeks through a neutral lens, and Hallie begins to like what she sees.

“So, you think there might be hope for me after all?”

“Oh, Hallie. There was always hope. The only thing that’s changed today is that you are finally going to start believing it. I think you are already on the road to recovery.”

“Whatever that means, right?”

“Right. The good thing is you’re young and you have your whole life ahead of you. So the real question now is, what does Hallie Boudreaux want to do with the rest of her life?” Hallie smiles a sad smile. “If only I knew.”

Chapter Seven

Troy hasn’t looked this forward to Christmas so much since he was eight years old and had asked Santa for a new bike. He’s pretty sure the excitement he feels as he sees the sign announcing Eagle’s Pass three miles ahead would rival finding that bike under the tree that Christmas morning so many years before.

It’s been less than two weeks since he was here last, but the time has dragged by. He’s been busy at work, so it wasn’t too bad during the day, but the nights have found him distracted and obsessing over the events of his last visit to Eagle’s Pass. He’d been tempted to drive out last weekend, but Traci had talked him out of it. His brain knows he’d done the right thing in spanking his sister, but he can’t shake the feeling that she may not feel the same. As a result, he’s phoned and texted her more often than normal. It’s important to him that they get to spend this first Christmas in four years together reconnecting.

He might also have an unconscious motive for checking in with his sister frequently. Thoughts of a petite young woman with a fire in her green eyes have haunted both his waking hours and sleep. Troy is ashamed to admit he’d hoped his sister would let information about how Hallie was doing slip into their conversations. Ever the professional, Traci has been careful not to share anything more than passing information on Eagle’s Pass’s newest resident. Troy respects his sister’s careful confidentiality with her patient’s private conversations, yet he’s anxious to know more about Hallie Boudreaux than that she’s doing well.

He’d timed his arrival to pick up Traci in time to head to St. Michael’s Parish for the Christmas Eve service. He’d hoped to have time to come in and chat with his sister before heading out, but traffic had been heavy and she is already coming out her front door as he pulls in the drive.

“Hi, Troy. I was getting worried I might need to go save us seats. It fills up fast on holidays.”

Troy leans over to kiss his sister on her cheek as she slides into the front seat of his SUV. “Hey, Trace. Yeah, I’d hoped to be here sooner too.”

Troy backs out and heads the few blocks drive over to the church. There’s a light dusting of snow coming down and the night has the kind of magical feel like only Christmas Eve can.

“So does the whole town show up at church on a night like this?”

“Mostly. Some people go out of town to visit family, and there are two services, one at seven and one at eleven so I’m hoping it won’t be too crowed at this first one.”

“Well, you may have to help me if I forget people’s names. Everyone seems to remember me because I’m with you and I met them once at the picnic. What’s the pastor’s name again?”

“Father Henry Beauchamp. I’m not sure who else will be there for sure other than Brent, Char and Kayla. They called earlier to make sure we’d be going to the Christmas Eve party at the Community Center between services. I told them I’d need to check with you, but I thought we’d at least stop by.”

“Hey, I’m the guest here. If that’s what you normally do, then let’s go.”

They’re already pulling into the church parking lot. With only fifteen minutes to spare before the start of the service, the lot is almost full. Picturesque brown-bag lanterns light the sidewalk. Troy stays close to his sister as they enter the crowed entryway full of people waiting to shake hands with the greeters at the door to the sanctuary. Only as they move closer does Troy recognize it’s Dr. Devon, surrounded by three young boys and a very pregnant woman he assumes is his wife. They make a very nice-looking family, and since they know everyone in town, the line is moving at a snail’s pace as neighbors share jovial holiday greetings.

As the line inches forward, Troy scans the foyer, hoping to catch a glimpse of Hallie. It’s not until they’re through greeting the Devon clan and headed into the sanctuary that he spots her in one of the pews near the front, sitting between her aunt and uncle. He’d forgotten how petite she is, yet as she turns to speak to her aunt, he can see her face light up into a smile.

Traci was right. She is doing well.

Only as he allows the relief of seeing her looking so happy register, does he realize just how much he’d been aching to see her again. His brain knows she is not available to him. He’s too old for her for starters, and while he still doesn’t know what her history is, he’s pretty sure there’s violence in her past that will make living in a DD community very difficult for Hallie.

Regardless, when he caught himself thinking about her at frequent intervals throughout the day, he’d eventually had to acknowledge he feels a magnetic pull to the feisty young woman he’d met under the most unique circumstances. There’s something about her that’s captured his full attention, yet that’s where it needs to end. As tempting as it is to pursue getting to know Hallie better, the odds are not in their favor. Remembering the fear in her eyes after bursting into Traci’s to stop her spanking always tamps down his excitement.

Better to remain mere acquaintances than start something that won’t end well.

The service is uplifting and spiritual and Troy finds himself grateful for the many blessings in his life. The music is traditional and several times, Troy gives up singing Christmas carols just to take in the profile of Hallie as she enjoys her first Christmas with family in over three years. Her eyes twinkle with excitement during the final hymn, Silent Night. The sanctuary is lit with dozens of candles held by the congregation.

When the service concludes, the crowd begins to head out, many in the direction of the Community Center. Troy and Traci are delayed as several people stop to talk with his sister. The loitering allows for Hallie and her family to approach their row as they head to the exit.

“Merry Christmas, Hallie.”

She’d been talking with her aunt, so she’s surprised when she looks up to see Troy. He’s relieved she doesn’t appear to be afraid of him. He detects a slight blush on her cheeks as her eyes widen as she recognizes Troy, and he wonders if she’d just been thinking about how they’d met. Still, he’s happy she isn’t running in the opposite direction. It’s a good sign.

“Merry Christmas, Troy. Traci told me you’d be coming to visit for a few days. I just didn’t know you’d arrive in time for tonight’s service.” She continues hesitantly. “Are you… and Traci going to the party over at the Community Center by chance?”

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