Page 73 of Dirty Discipline, Vol. 1

“You sure you want to know?”

“I need to know, Troy.”

“Yes, baby. You do. Just not today.”

“Please. Let’s lay our cards on the table here. That helps me. I need to know so I can process everything. And let’s face it, we aren’t going to be able to talk about this once we get home and have Aunt Gina and Uncle Adam in the next room. Please.”

He watches her carefully and sees she is being honest with him. She’s watching him intently and he could get used to this feeling because as she stares up at him from the few inches below, he drinks in the look of adoration she has on her face. In spite of all they’ve talked about so far, she is showing no signs of fear or reluctance. He decides to proceed.

“Okay. First, I’ll use things other than spankings for smaller punishments. Like corner time or taking away privileges. If we move into spankings, it will always be on your bare bottom. It will sometimes be over my knee or over the end of the bed or couch. I’ll always start with my hand as a warmup and if it’s serious enough, I’ll use another implement. Some are lighter, like the wooden spoon or a wooden ruler. If it is more serious, I might break out my dad’s favorite, which was a heavy wooden hairbrush or his wide leather belt. I think the most serious I would get would be a paddle, but listen to me. This isn’t going to happen overnight. We are going to figure this all out together, one day at a time like your mom suggested. I’m not going to push you farther or faster than you can handle. Can you live with that?”

He hasn’t taken his eyes off her so he’s been able to see the roller-coaster of her emotions as he had laid out his thoughts on punishments. He had seen flashes of fear, but they were tamped down quickly, and he was surprised to recognize what looked like excitement in her eyes several times, especially when he was talking about her bare bottom and the positions he would place her in.

“Okay, now that we talked about implements, I’d like to talk about something else. There are a lot of different kinds of spankings, Hallie. I know so far, the only kind you think of are punishment or discipline spankings which are the kind I think you dread the most and rightly so because they will always hurt, and their sole purpose is to guide you to better choices next time and learn lessons. Very few subs ever learn to like them, but most still welcome them because they help them feel closer to their HoH and also get rid of any guilt they carry. I’ve heard a very few subs actually like this type of punishment, but they usually have masochistic tendencies and I highly doubt you will fall into that category, baby.”

“You think? Wise man. I did talk to Aunt Gina about this a little bit. She… well…” Hallie is turning an adorable shade of pink. “She said that there are other spankings that she actually loves getting. I think she’s crazy.”

“I hope to prove you wrong, because those will be the first spankings you get. The fun kind. It will be a way to ease you into the lifestyle and my hope is that by the time you earn a real punishment, we will both be ready.”

“What do you mean, you’ll be ready? I saw you in action Troy. It doesn’t look like you need practice.”

Hallie is chuckling, but Troy can’t find the humor. Unbelievably, a wave of dread washes over him at the thought of having to punish Hallie. It’s how he knows his feelings for her are different than any other woman he has dated. “Hallie, I know you won’t believe this, but I’m

actually dreading punishing you. It’s going to hurt me every bit as much as it will you.”

She snorts. “Fat chance. I’ll remind you of that when you are wailing on my ass.”

“Do you think I’m going to enjoy hearing you cry? Hearing you call out knowing you are in pain… pain that I am causing you? Do you think it’s easy for an HoH to harden his heart to the pleas to stop? Because believe me, you will beg me to stop and if it is a punishment, I won’t be able to until I know you’ve learned your lesson.”

“Oh God. Please Troy. Why do we have to do this? If it hurts both of us this much, why does anyone do this?” She is trembling again, tears pooling in her eyes. He cups her face gently to comfort her.

“We do this because it makes for stronger relationships, at least the kind of relationship I want. I grew up knowing my parents had a much stronger marriage than any of my friends I

would spend time with. When I was young, I had no clue why, but as I grew older I figured it out. My friend’s houses were always full of bickering and chaos. I would hear their parents say mean or rude things to each other or undermine each other behind the other’s back. I saw my friends taking advantage, playing their parents against each other. When I was young, it was kind of funny, but as I grew older, I hated it. Even now, many of my friends who don’t subscribe to a DD way of life have marriages that are on the rocks or kids that are out of control. Many are on their way to divorce. I don’t want that, Hallie.”

“So, your dad really did spank your mom?”

“He did.”

“In front of you and Traci?” He can hear a twinge of panic in her voice.

“Oh no. Never, honey. That was a private part of their marriage.”

She mulls on that for a minute. “I just don’t get why you think spankings will make that big of a difference unless you get to use them to bully me. I mean, in your definition of a strong relationship, is the woman meant to be seen and not heard?”

“Oh Hallie, not even close. I love how sassy and witty you are. I don’t ever want to change that about you. How can I say this better?” Troy has to think for a long minute before he takes another stab at explaining how he feels. “It’s not the spankings that make the relationship strong, honey. It’s so much deeper than that. It’s the intimacy and open communication. It’s us agreeing to rules we both want to live our lives by and then being held accountable. And that means it’s not just me holding you accountable, but you get to hold me accountable too. I have a great responsibility to take care of you… protect you. I want to put you and our relationship ahead of my own personal needs.”

Her grin is adorable. “So, if you break one of our rules, do I get to spank you?”

Troy hugs her. “Nice try, but no. I think there are actually some couples that do agree to that arrangement, but that won’t be us.”

“Honestly, that would just be too weird anyway. But what happens if you do break a rule, Troy?”

Troy pauses. “I will apologize and work hard to make it up to you and rebuild your trust in me again.”

“I’ve heard really nice gifts work well in that situation. I love roses and chocolates.” Her grin is playful.

Troy knows he needs more information about her history growing up. “You’ve talked a little bit about your mom, but you never told me what kind of marriage your parents had.”

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