Page 87 of Dirty Discipline, Vol. 1

Hallie hasn’t even said a word when the front door slams open and Troy comes barging in. He looks so tall and powerful and for the first time since the night she met him, Hallie is actually afraid of him. Their eyes meet as he takes large strides to cross the living room to grab her by her upper arms, shaking her ever so slightly.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again, do you hear me? You scared the shit out of me when you were gone and then you wouldn’t answer your phone. I thought something bad had happened to you, Hallie. What the hell were you thinking?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Troy. I was thinking I wanted to come home, but the funny thing is, as I was driving back here, it dawned on me. This isn’t really my home. I’ve decided I’m not cut out to be a 1950’s woman. After all, I can open my own fucking doors and I’ve decided I don’t need the threat of getting my bottom paddled every time I break some arbitrary rule some man makes up so he has an excuse to beat his woman.”

Direct hit. She’s angry. So why does the pain in his eyes boomerang back and pierce her own heart?

“What are you saying, Hallie? You’ve decided you’re not going to stay in Eagle’s Pass?” She’s never heard Troy sound so vulnerable before. Her anger is slipping away, leaving her feeling exhausted. She doesn’t have any fight left in her.

“Let’s face it, Troy. This isn’t going to work. I’m never going to be happy here. Stacey’s offered me a job and I’m going to take it. I’m good at managing bands and I’m still young enough that I’m not ready to give up the travel and excitement of the music industry. What am I going to do with myself here in Eagle’s Pass, anyway? There are no jobs for me here and, well I just think this is best.”

There’s an eerie silence in the room as all eyes are on Troy and Hallie as they have this most private conversation. Hallie is sure she must be imagining the tremble she feels as Troy loosens his hold on her arms. She wants to cry out to him to put his hands back on her as he drops his arms to his side, taking a small step that is more like a stumble, backwards. His eyes haven’t left hers as he internalizes what she’s said.

When he speaks, she can barely hear him. “Will going back on the road, managing a band… will that make you happy?”

Hallie thought he would be yelling at her, trying to convince her it was a crazy idea. His quiet question catches her off guard. “I don’t know, honestly, but I think it’s what I need to do.” Her heart is pounding in her chest as she waits, hoping he will leave so she can break down and cry and then praying he never leaves because she’s sure her heart will break the second he does. She has never felt more confused.

Troy looks nervously around the room, making eye contact with a concerned Uncle Adam, a crying Aunt Gina and a confused Stacey before returning his gaze to Hallie. “All I ever wanted is for you to be happy, Hallie. If this will make you happy, then I wish you the very best.”

He leans in to place a last quick kiss on her forehead and is halfway to the front door before Hallie wakes up out of her trance.

“Troy!”

He turns, his eyes full of unshed tears. She’s so tempted to call him back. To tell him it was all a big bluff, but then she remembers Victoria’s words and reminds herself he needs to hurry back to Denver to pack up his apartment.

“Goodbye.”

He releases a barely audible moan before turning and striding out without a backward glance. Had he turned around, he would have seen Hallie crumbling to the floor where she stood, her aunt rushing to her side to hold her while sobs wracked her petite body.

Chapter Seventeen

Six weeks later - Valentine’s Day

“I can’t believe you’re roping me into going out tonight, Trace. This is my first weekend in town and I have a thousand chores, not to mention the absolutely last place I want to be tonight is a damn Valentine’s Day party. I knew I should have driven separately today.”

Troy’s sister has pulled her car into the parking lot of St. Michael’s Parish instead of dropping him off at his new house, just a few blocks away from her own home on Spanking Loop. They’d been shopping in Boulder for furnishings all afternoon and Troy just wants to get home and unpack.

“Don’t be a baby, Troy. You know I have next to no social life. It’s Valentine’s Day. Can’t you at least escort me to a small get together in the basement of the church for a few minutes? I know you have no desire to mingle, but I’d actually like to meet Mr. Right at some point before I become a senior citizen. Who knows? Maybe he might be here tonight.”

His sister knows how to push his guilt buttons. “Fine. I’ll go for a little bit, but we aren’t staying late, got it? I’m not very good company these days anyway.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Traci’s grin forces him to smile.

Thank God for his sister. She’s been a Godsend, helping him sort through his anger and sadness after losing Hallie at the New Year. The last six weeks have been a whirlwind for Troy, of both highs and lows.

Upon returning to Denver on the disastrous New Year’s Day, he’d gone into the office to try to bury himself in work. No one had been more surprised than Troy when he and Harris had traced the root of the sabotage back to code introduced by a previous member of their team, Victoria. Before the team had even left Washington, she’d embedded a virus in the code set to activate on Christmas Day knowing it would put the entire project in jeopardy.

The very next day, Troy had flown to DC to hand over the evidence to his boss, Peter. They’d confronted Victoria together and she had confessed. It still turns Troy’s stomach when he realizes she had tried to ruin the entire team’s work in a misguided attempt to force Troy to move back to Washington DC. Now she faces a court-martial while his team successfully wrapped up their big project and moved on to the next.

As busy as his work has been, not an hour goes by that he doesn’t think of Hallie. One of Troy’s biggest regrets is he never got to tell her his plans for the future. He’s not sure it would have changed her mind and make her want to stay, but he wishes he’d tried harder to understand what had gone so wrong their last night together. He’d just been so hurt by her rejection, he’d rushed out of the Newberry’s house without trying harder to change her mind.

So, despite Hallie moving on, Troy had gone through with his plans to retire from the Air Force. His boss, Peter, had not been thrilled when Troy advised him that he wanted to move to Eagle’s Pass to be near his sister, but Troy had been relieved when Peter approved the plan. As of two weeks ago, Troy is now a private citizen. He will continue to head up confidential projects with his team, but this time as a highly paid private contractor. He’s arranged to work out of Eagle’s Pass three days a week, driving into Denver twice a week and flying to DC for meetings with Peter at least one week per quarter.

As he had hoped, he’ll now be spending more time with his sister. The problem is, it’s taken every ounce of his control not to pump Traci for any scrap of information on Hallie. Several times, he’s picked up the phone to call Hallie, but would chicken out, not sure what he would say to her other than begging her to come home. He’s still working on coming to terms with the fact that she is in a different place in her life than he is. He is ready to settle down and start a family and she is still young and deserves to see the world. He just hopes she is happy, wherever she is, because he feels gutted without her.

As they arrive in the basement of the rectory, Troy can’t help but compare this party to the one he, Hallie, and Traci had attended on Christmas Eve. This party is tiny and pretty lame in comparison, but then again, only a portion of the town attends church here at St. Michael’s. He glances around, hoping to see Gina and Adam and then relieved when they are not there.

They are greeted by Dr. Marcus Devon and his wife Cadence just inside the door. “Hey there Traci and Troy. Glad you guys could make it. I’d stay away from the punch bowl if I were you. Someone spiked it a good one.”

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