Page 56 of Dirty Discipline, Vol. 2

Sean pulled her into an embrace and kissed her bare neck before brushing her ear lobe with his lips as he invited her in. "You're a sight for sore eyes. I'm glad you're here."

He pulled her inside before closing the door. She felt stiff in his arms. Trying to warm her up, he pressed her back against the heavy wood door and gazed into her caramel brown eyes. Where she had been responsive the night before, tonight Traci was on guard... reserved. He understood, yet he hated it.

"You hungry? I have dinner warming in the kitchen."

"You cooked?"

"I ordered."

"Must be nice. I love to cook, but hate cooking for one." She looked past him to scan the room. "Where's Ashley?"

"She's sleeping over at her grandparents’ tonight. They're going to get her to school tomorrow."

He saw conflict in her eyes and suspected she had been counting on Ashley's presence to keep them from having the privacy to delve too deeply into the confusing emotional ride they found themselves on.

"Come on in. Let's eat. I opened a bottle of one of my favorite Italian wines to go with the pasta feast Chef prepared for us tonight. I can't wait to see what you think."

"I'm sure I'll love it. I've loved all of the wines you've chosen so far."

"We'll see. Tonight's is a bit heavier."

They were near the already set dining table when she replied, "Heavy sounds good. I almost ordered a cocktail before coming up."

He was about to help her sit, but stopped and turned her toward him instead. "Why would you feel like you need to drink before seeing me, Traci?"

"Oh, I don't know. Let's face it; last night was pretty intense, Sean. I'm not really used to dating, let alone sleeping with, a man I've only known for a day. I don't want you to think ill of me."

He had expected her to feel vulnerable after their passionate time together, but he hadn't expected her to worry that he might condemn her for giving into the same base attraction he had. Sean reached out to cup her face and made sure she was paying attention. "I have thought of you... almost constantly today... but never, not once, did I think worse of you for letting me spend the night with you last night, Trace."

"I've thought of you all day today too, Sean."

"And?"

He felt her tremble as he gave her time to formulate her response. "And nothing. Nothing has changed. I'm still going home tomorrow. You still live in Chicago. I still live in Eagle’s Pass. As wonderful as last night was, I need to stay focused that we're just having fun." The look on her face told Sean she wasn't having any fun at all. The tension rolled off her as if she were barely holding her emotions in check.

"What if I asked you to delay your flight home? At least spend the weekend here so we can try to get a handle on what's going on."

Sean could tell she hadn't expected his request. How could she? He hadn't expected to ask her to stay himself.

She remained closed off. "I don't think that's a good idea, Sean. Three days is almost worse than one day. Five days will be worse than three."

"How can you say that?"

"Because let's face it. This is going to end. There are way too many things preventing this from turning into anything serious, Sean. That means that getting closer to you is only going to make it worse when it's time to move on. In fact, maybe I should just leave now. It's not too late for tonight..."

"The hell it's not. Like it or not, it's already too late for me to just shrug my shoulders and say 'bye and good luck' to you, Traci." Sean tried to tap down the erratic emotions controlling him.

He saw confusion registering in her brown eyes. "So, you've been considering changing jobs and moving?"

"No, and you know I haven't."

"Well, neither have I. How about leading a DD relationship? You ready to step up to that challenge too, Sean? Because I'm telling you now that's a requirement for me. I'm not ready to settle for a relationship that doesn't include domestic discipline. I know myself. I want... no... I need to be guided by an HoH. You may have never seen me losing it, but I can assure you that you aren't ready for that."

Sean felt anger bubbling up. "How do you know that, Traci? How can you possibly answer for me what I will or won't be able to handle?"

"My brother, Troy, loves me more than anyone else in the world and even he is at his wit's end with me, Sean. You've only gotten a glimpse of that this week."

"The only thing I've seen this week that I'd like to change is a beautiful woman who lacks confidence in herself. I watched the audience as you spoke yesterday. You are an amazing, intelligent woman. I wish you could see yourself as I see you, Traci."

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