Page 66 of Beautiful Broken Vengeance

Her gasp fills the SUV. “Your brother…” She shakes her head. “Are you okay? Is someone after you? Was David a part of all that?”

Shit. I exhale slowly. Discussion of David will happen once we’re home. His homosexuality was known only to me and my brothers. He used women often enough if our men had questions they brushed them off. While I do not want to protect David after what he did, I refuse to allow anyone to blame him being gay as a reason for what he did. “Our family in New York, my uncle and his idiot sons, are sinking as I’m sure you are aware. Grigori absurdly believed he could take over from Milos here in Chicago to leave his issues behind in New York.”

“Your uncle isn’t psycho, he’s demented. There’s no way it could work. If he thinks—”

“Milos killed him last night. There is no further threat from them. His sons would not dare go against us. We are safe. You are safe. No one will ever get close to you,” I promise her.

“The same way no one got close to your brother’s wife? The same way I didn’t just get saved from David?” It isn’t a taunt. She’s asking a question that fuck me, I can’t give a good answer to because she’s right.

I squeeze her hand. “I would die before I—”

“I don’t doubt you would. I’m not afraid for me. I’m afraid for you. Someone got close to your brother’s wife. Someone got close to your brother. What if you were there? I also know you would have given yourself for your brother and his wife. That’s the kind of person you are for the people you care about. Except you promised me you wouldn’t leave me and…” She trails off.

Hearing the pain in her voice shreds me inside. I get her out of her seat belt and tug her into my arms. I don’t dare open my mouth in front of my man.

Neither of us says another word all the way home and up in the elevator. Boris nods. “Do you want me here or do you want someone else?”

“You here. Spread the word David is dead because he touched my woman. Touching her is the same as Celia, punishment is death. Thankfully his parents are dead to not suffer the embarrassment. Wipe his existence from the world,” I order him as the elevator doors open.

I take Phoenix into our bedroom. I don’t care if it’s barely noon, I need her in my arms and in my bed. Pulling back to look down at her, I finally find the words. “You’re wrong. I wouldn’t have saved Celia or even Milos at the expense of my life.” I run my thumb over the rings on her finger.

“Until I put these rings on your finger, I would have. I would have seen it as an honor. My brother often feels like my other half. From before we could speak, we could communicate. Yet, shame filled me when I was told what happened. It wasn’t relief he and Celia were safe. I was relieved I was not there. My family is important to me. However, the moment I placed this ring on your finger, I did so with the promise it symbolizes. You before all others. Every time I put you first. I promised you I would never leave you—and I won’t, not even for them.”

She brings my hand up to her lips and presses them to the back of my hand. “David was going to kill me because you love me, wasn’t he?”

CHAPTER23

Phoenix

Daddy goes still, his jaw tightens and he nods. The nod wipes away every fear I’d had when it comes to his motives. A part of me was afraid it was all a manipulation tactic, to take me over and bend me to his will.

Except the only will he’s had for me is to care for me. To lay the world before me, for me to have anything I wanted. Without him ever realizing the only thing I wanted was him. Someone who saw me as I am and still wanted me. Someone who didn’t flinch from all the dirty, bad, wrong things that made me wet. Daddy whispered more of the dirty wrong and promised to give me all of it.

“Religion, remember? Create a world where all the death and destruction is normal. My father gave each of his children a man when we turned fourteen to have as our personal security—that’s what he said. It’s not why he did it. Later he admitted, it’s what his father did. My father didn’t take to Bratva in the early years of his life. The man was to watch my father and report back to my grandfather. But with the man and his family also being Bratva, the questions and doubts he had died in the face of seeing the lifestyle beyond his immediate family. So he did the same with us.”

“How old was David?” I whisper when he closes his eyes.

“Sixteen and already a soldier who had killed defending his father when a pickup didn’t go well. I already had brothers, I didn’t see him as another. I grew to see him as a friend though. He’d saved my ass with my father more than a few times. When I was twenty my father called me into his office and told me David was gay and wanted me. It was unacceptable and David needed to be disposed of. I was sure it was a test of some sort. Only to quickly realize it was not a test. He understood how close I had grown to David and was willing to handle it without me doing anything.”

I can understand why he thought it was a test. How could he be expected to kill someone who was at his side for six years just because the man was gay? Unease fills me, I’ve heard homosexuality is not okay within the mafia. But to kill someone?

“I never saw it. There were a few times he offered to share a woman with me. However, he stopped asking after the third time when I told him I wasn’t into it. David was unashamed and admitted he was in love with me. He also swore he gave up on me and would never weigh me down with his desire. He’d spent the last six years living a lie; he could keep doing it as long as he lived. Stupidly, I took him at his word. Being gay shouldn’t be a death sentence I told my father. He wasn’t happy but accepted my decision. I should have put him out of his suffering long ago. Instead I allowed it to grow and become twisted…”

The anguish on his face pierces me deep. I run my hand over his cheek. My chest expands until I fear it will burst at the way he turns into my touch. “You aren’t all-knowing.” I try to comfort him.

“I should have though. He became resentful of you within days. I stupidly—fuck, I can’t believe how stupid I was. I didn’t think about him, only myself. My father,” he shakes his head, “he said always, do not stifle your inclinations. When you do they become perverted and twist you up inside. I can’t help wondering if this was what he really meant. Forcing David to watch me with other women while aware, then you…”

It's there in his eyes, so I don’t understand why my chest clenches tight and tears sting my own eyes. “Falling in love with you—I fought against it. It didn’t make sense. I told myself it was lust for your fire.” Cupping my face, he wipes away my tears. “I was wrong. You are wrong. You can trust me with your heart. I will never hurt you. I couldn’t let you go even if you begged me to.”

I want so badly to say it back. Only I can’t bring myself to open my mouth. He presses his thumb to my lips. “It’s all right. I don’t need you to say it. When you’re ready, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. This has always been about forever. I will do whatever it takes for you to feel safe with me and within our marriage. If it takes another year or five for you to trust in me, in us. Then that’s what it takes.”

Relief sends my head down to his shoulder. He squeezes me tightly. I welcome his strength and wind my good arm around his neck.

* * *

Phoenix

Waking up alone, I instantly long for Daddy. Sliding off the bed, I hear the muffled voices of Daddy and Milos. My stomach tightens hearing Milos. I don’t catch what’s said but my name comes through clearly. Curiosity sends me to the door that isn’t closed completely. I open it ever so slightly. They are in the foyer, down the long hallway and can’t see me. I can only see the right hand and leg of Milos.

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