Page 123 of Pieces of Me

I snicker. “Are we done? Can we move on now?”

Leaning back in his chair, he nods once. “Go ahead.”

I inhale a huge breath, weary of how he’ll respond. “I was thinking I can put some of the money from Esme’s house toward the company’s online presence. We definitely need to update the website and market on social media. I can run ads and stuff. We can post pictures of the new greenhouse build. And, I was thinking, since we’re getting married in my garden, I could slide some wedding stuff in there, gain another audience, and maybe in the future, you can start hosting weddings again.” I take a breath. “You won’t need to do a thing, I promise… besides pose shirtless for photos…”

He chuckles, shaking his head.

“I can attack it full-force. I think it would really help.”

“I think it would too,” he agrees, “but I don’t want you spending your money on it, and we can’t pay you for your time.”

“Shut your perfectly pleasurable, filthy little mouth,” I snap and wait for him to settle his laughter. “Holden, that place is my legacy too, now, right?”

“Of course it is,” he says, nodding, his eyes softening as his lips lift at the corners.

“And our future childrens’…”

He leans forward, his words a whisper, “I’m going to blow so many fucking loads inside you—”

I shove his face away. “So I can do it?”

“That would be amazing,” he says, his gaze shifting to the diner’s door.

I hear him before I see him. “Uncle Holden!” My smile widens when I turn to Benny but fades just as fast when I see who’s with him.

Tammy and Joseph wait until Benny’s sitting beside Holden before taking a four-top as far away as possible. I spin around, sit ramrod straight as I face Holden and Benny.

“Hi, Miss Jamie!” Benny sings.

“Hi, sweet boy.”

Benny talks, and Holden dips his head, listening to him, but watching me. I plaster a smile, let him know I’m okay.

I don’t know if I am.

I haven’t seen Tammy and Joseph since our encounter in the driveway, and it’s not as if I didn’t expect to at some point. Blessing is atinytown with a population of just over 200. I just… I wasn’t prepared, and now I’m sitting here, having to fake it in front of my fiancé.

It hurts.

“Bennett!” Joseph calls out. “Come and tell us what you want to order, buddy!”

Benny gets out of the seat but doesn’t leave right away. “You guys coming?” he asks, looking between Holden and me.

Holden glances at me quickly, his brow furrowed, eyes unfocused. Ihate, hate, hatethis for him. “Maybe another time.”

“You should go,” I tell him.

Benny’s grasping Holden’s arm now, trying to pull him from the booth. “Come on!”

“I can’t,” I tell Benny. “I have somewhere to be.” To Holden, I say, “Go! I told Jimmy I’d be at his studio ten minutes ago. You can get a ride back, right?” I reach over, palm up for Holden’s keys.

“Babe…”

I motion to Benny, almost imperceptibly, hinting not to do this now—not in front of him. And besides, there’s no reason he shouldn’t spend time with his family. I know he speaks to his mom. I’ve caught him on the phone with her a few times now, and he’s always so quick to hang up, as if what he’s doing is wrong. It’s not. And no matter how many times I tell him Iwanthim to have a relationship with Tammy, he still feels like he has to hide it from me.

I hate that he feels like he’s stuck in the middle. That he has to somehow choose between his mother and fiancée, and that it’s either/or, or it’snothing.

It’s not at all fair to him. I know this. But I’m trying.I’m getting there,I’ve wanted to tell him.I just need time.

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