Page 125 of Pieces of Me

“Yeah, why?”

“You look like you did that day I drove you to the airport.” He pauses a beat. “A little heartbroken...”

I shove my phone in my pocket and attempt to smile over at him. “Can I ask you something?”

After removing his helmet completely, he nods once.

“If you don’t like the townsfolk calling you Peg-leg, why don’t you say something? Why don’t you stand up for yourself?”

“I don’t know.” His shoulders lift with his shrug as he leans against the workbench. “I guess, in a way, it’s the lesser of two evils, right? I’d rather they do it to my face than whisper behind my back.”

I think about his answer for a long moment, finally responding, “So, if someone had something bad to say about you but told youto your face, you’d be okay with that?”

“Well…” He sighs, crossing his arms as he contemplates. “Is thesomething badtrueor false?”

“A little of both,” I mumble.

He runs a hand over his handlebar mustache, shifting the hairs in all directions. “In my mind, I’d hope that I’d set ’em straight right then and there, but in reality… I’m not sure what I’d do.” He eyes me curiously and adds, “Why? What did you do?”

My heart sinks at the reality of my situation. “I ran away.”

He nods as if knowing this already. “You regret that?” he asks.

“Not regret, so much, because I don’t think I could haveset ’em straightback then. I just… I wish I had the courage to do it now.”

“Well, maybe you’ll get that courage one day.” His smile is soft. “Or maybe you already have it, and you just don’t know it yet…”

53

Holden

It’s dead air on the phone call between Mia and me because neither of us knows what to say. She’d dropped me off a half hour ago, and in that time, I’ve set up the Airfort that Benny had lent me and sat inside, my heart heavy and my stomach turning, twisting to the point of physical pain.

“I wish I knew what to say,” Mia says.

“Me too.”

“Holden! What is this?” Jamie calls out. The fan keeping the fort up must have drowned out the sound of the door opening and closing, and I didn’t even hear her come in.

“I have to go,” I tell Mia and hang up just as Jamie pulls up the fabric around me, making the fort collapse.

She slips inside, and seconds later, the igloo fort is back to its intended shape. She sits cross-legged in front of me, her smile wide as her eyes scan the small space. I say, “I told Benny about our blanket forts, and he had this. He wanted you to come over so he could show you, but…” But she can’t be there, and he doesn’t understand that. “Anyway, he said I could bring it home, so… here it is.”

Jamie’s smile falters as she meets my eyes. “How long are they in town for?”

“A couple more days…” I mumble, gaze lowered, picking at the floorboards. I didn’t have time to collect my emotions before she got home, and I don’t want her to see me like this.

But she sees it anyway. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I love you,” I rush out, reaching over to shift her hair from her face. But the fan is blowing, and I can’t control it, and right now, I feel like I can’t control anything.

She gently nudges my hands away and keeps her eyes on mine as she ties her hair up in a loose bun. “Holden, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I lie, and then I look at her. Really look at her. And I have absolutely no doubt that she’s it for me. She’s my future. My everything. For the rest of my life. “Can you come here?” I beg, tugging on her hand. I guide her onto my lap, her legs bent on either side of me, and then I just… hold her. For minutes, I take the strength that she shows daily, and I try to capture it. Try to use it for myself.

“Baby…” Jamie coos, her hands on the back of my head, fingers lacing, playing with my hair there. “What’s wrong?”

I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to add pressure to her pain, but I don’t know how else to deal with it. I pull back, tears caught in my lashes, and Jamie… Jamie’s shoulders rise, the fear in her eyes palpable. “I spoke to Joseph today… about everything.” I swallow. Hard. And search her eyes. “My mom didn’t know that he’d brought the check that day. That was all on him. He explained that, for a long time, he felt as though money was all he could really offer, so that’s what he did. He apologized for his part in it…”

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