Page 127 of Pieces of Me

Tammy and Joseph step inside, and I wait nervously for the moment Tammy’s eyes meet mine. “Hi, Jamie,” she says, and I catch her stepping toward Joseph. I recognize the action because it’s exactly what I do with Holden when I’m scared. Joseph is her protector like Holden is mine, and that’s why he did what he did for her, what hecontinues to do.

“Hi, Mrs. Kovács. Mr. Kovács.”

“Tammy and Joseph,” Tammy says. “Please.”

“Tammy.” I nod. “Joseph.” I nod again.

I must look like a real winner right now, but to be fair to myself, I’m nervous.

And scared.

But… I’m also ready.

Finally.

“Thank you for coming so last minute.”

“Thank you for inviting us,” Tammy chokes out. “It means the world.”

I point behind me. “Dinner’s not quite ready yet. Would you like water or something?”

“We’re okay, Jamie,” Joseph says, his voice softer than I’ve ever heard him speak to or about me.

I wave my hand out in front of me, motioning to the couch. “Sit, please.”

It’s only now I realize that Holden’s still holding the door open, watching our back and forth with his eyebrows drawn.

I move to him, closing the door, and then I get up on my toes, my hands on his chest, and kiss him quickly. “I love you,” I mouth.

And it’s clear he’s trying to hold back his emotions. “Are you okay?” he whispers.

“I’mperfect,” I lie.

He drags his gaze down my clothes, then up to my eyes again, and heknows… he knows why I’m dressed like this. Why I’m trying to hide who I am.

“Jamie…” he whispers.

“Wow, this place has changed a lot,” Tammy says, and I jump at the chance to change the subject.

“Yeah, we updated,” I say, turning to her.

“That’s all Jamie,” Holden replies, grabbing two stools from beneath the counter and sitting opposite them.

“I like the curtains,” Tammy tells me.

I sit on the empty stool beside Holden. “Thank you.”

The room fills with awkward silence while Tammy and Joseph stare at me, waiting.

I stare back.

In my mind, I’d struggled to find a way to start this conversation that wasn’t an apology on either party.

“This was the groundskeeper’s place, right?” Joseph asks, throwing his arm around Tammy’s shoulders, and I’m not really sure what happens next—what it is that’s going through Tammy’s mind that has her sobbing into her hands, her entire body shaking with the force of her cries. I’m quick to stand, to go to her and sit beside her, and...hugher.Holdher. Tell her, “It’s okay.”

She shakes her head, trying to catch her breath. “I should’ve told Holden,” she cries. “I had every opportunity to, but I was so ashamed of what I’d done to you. To both of you.”

“It’s okay,” I repeat, and then I tell her something I wished someone would’ve said to me in all my darkest hours. “It’s not your fault.”

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