Page 18 of Desiring an Angel

“You have got to be kidding me, Skylar Anne Larsen.” Nora’s disapproval sounded so much like our mother that I winced. “Are you out of your mind?”

My scatterbrained one that didn’t compare to her intellectual one, she meant. It wasn’t the first time she’d asked me that question.

Stomach hardening, I glanced back at my cell’s screen and the picture I wanted to be a part of. “My life, my choice,” I murmured.

I could sense her critical stare and felt like a speck of dirt on a glass slide beneath a microscope. “Yes, but our parents entrusted you to my care.”

“I’m not a child!”

“Then for God’s sake, Skylar, grow up and make better choices for once! This path will lead to nothing but trouble—debauchery, diseases, pregnancy out of wedlock…I won’t have that in this house!”

My shoulders curled inward on instinct. “Their profile is professional. They seem sincere—”

“Two men?” She cut me off. “What are they…lovers? Friends?”

“Partners since high school,” I whispered, wishing, not for the first time, I’d kept a better watch over my mouth before spilling thoughts out loud.

“Even if they are sincere, you would actually subject yourself to becoming a third wheel where insecurities would arise from their relationship already having a solid foundation?”

Oh.

She had a point even though her voice lacked concern for my emotional well-being.

“I didn’t think about that,” I murmured, glancing once more at the profile picture of what could bring more than I’d dreamed of—and not in a good way.

“Why am I not surprised?” Nora muttered and returned to her book as though I wasn’t worthy of her attention. “Harebrained decisions will lead to nothing but trouble in life. I think you would have learned that lesson by now.”

Her dismissive tone flushed angry heat from my toes clear through to the roots of my hair. “At least I choose to live, Nora Jane Larsen.” I emphasized her full name like she’d done with mine, proud that my voice didn’t tremble. “At least I’m willing to try new stuff. Meet new people. Attempt friendships and find love—”

“Not everyone is looking for love,” Nora snapped, her green eyes glinting. “Some of us are perfectly content without the mess of other people being all up in their space. And some of us can’t afford to make rash decisions that could affect everything we’ve striven for.”

My initial emotional reaction as a child would have had me yanking on her hair, but I studied my sister in silence, imagining smoke rolling from my ears. We hadn’t ever desired the same things, never had a single goal in common.

But that didn’t make her way or thoughts right and mine wrong. Or vice-versa. We were identical but two very different individuals—and both worthy of happiness.

“You wanted to study the stars your whole life,” I said, my tone leveling out in hopes to stop the conflict I hated, “and you made that dream come true. All I’ve always dreamed about was to be loved and have a family of my own. Yes, two men isn’t the norm, but it’s what I hope to find. You don’t have to understand or agree—and I don’t need your approval same as you didn’t need mine in order to move to the West Coast and work for NASA.”

“What do you think Mom and Dad will have to say about this latest absurd idea of yours?” she asked, ignoring everything I’d said.

My anger returned at her flippant question. It had been hers.

I stood, ready to escape negativity I’d hoped to leave behind at the farm. “Quite frankly, I don’t give a shit if they think a polyamorous relationship is strange or wrong. One man or three, love is love—and for once, I don’t care if I don’t measure up to your perfection!”

I stalked on shaking legs back the hallway toward my bedroom and slammed my door shut behind me, despising the fact that I did care.

My insides quivered, my eyes welling, but not from happy feels. I hated that I still compared myself to my twin, that her words stung even though we had both moved out from beneath our parents’ wings.

I’d tried for too many years to live up to the standard Nora had set, and I was so done with trying to gain others’ approval. Being like my sister was unattainable for a simpleton like me.

Owning my best self, creating ripples in the ocean of life, had become my goal since seeking out my own way and leaving my past behind.

That meant finding two men to appease my newly-found greedy nature, regardless of how silly others might see that type of relationship. Obviously, thousands of people had those same desires—plenty of raving reviews on Missing Link assured me I wasn’t alone in my want of more.

Shut away in the privacy of my bedroom, I poked @desiringanangel back to open the lines of communication and curled up around a pillow wishing something, or rather someone, other than fabric-covered-fluff enjoyed my hugs and affection.

It took ten jittery minutes of agonizing forced patience before a message came through.

Desiringanangel: Hi.

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