Page 46 of Love Rescheduled

“Uh …” I fell back against my chair. “No,” I stammered, my heart beating uncontrollably, knowing I might possibly be lying to myself. The jury was still out.

“Natalie,” Alec spoke in his I’m about ready to explode some truth bombs on you voice. “You need to be honest with yourself. You are so used to—”

My phone started violently buzzing next to my laptop. I only kept it out to mark the time of our session—one hour exactly. I tried to ignore it, but then I noticed the name popping up in the notifications—Zac. He was in my contacts, but I had forgotten. It was more surprising that he had kept my number. My pulse raced. The only reason he might contact me was to tell me something was wrong with Josh.

“Alec, I’m sorry, but I have to check my phone. Josh’s best friend is texting me.” My voice shook unnaturally.

“Really?” He rubbed his chest, not sounding all that surprised.

I held my breath and swiped the phone off the table. Facial recognition immediately opened it. I clicked on the texting app, eyes squinting, fearing the worst.

Zac: I told you to stay away from Josh. You’re ruining everything.

“You’re ruining everything,” I repeated out loud, looking at Alec, who was swallowing hard. “What does he mean?” I said, more to myself. Zac was happy to answer in the next text.

Zac: You’re not worth him throwing away what could be his one big shot.

I dropped the phone, sick to my stomach. There were several more messages in the same vein. Each one made me feel like the girl on the junior high school stage who had lost everything that day, including the only shred of courage she ever had. Josh surely could not be thinking about walking away from the pilot he was supposed to be filming. My worst fear could come to fruition. What if Josh walked away and he discovered I wasn’t worth it, just as Zac suggested? He would always resent me, just like my parents did for being born.

“What’s wrong?” Alec leaned in and asked.

“Josh,” I eked out. “He’s … he’s … he’s making a mistake.”

“That’s not your call now, is it?” Alec challenged me.

“You knew about this?”

“Knew about what?” he feigned any knowledge.

“Alec, please tell me he isn’t giving up his dream for me,” I pleaded.

“Natalie,” he said tenderly, “you can’t control Josh or his dreams.”

I pushed my chair back. “I may not be able to control him, but I will talk him out of this insanity.”

Alec let out a heavy sigh. “You’re looking at this all wrong.”

“No, I’m not,” I cried. “Don’t you see if he does this, he’s going to end up hating me? He can’t hate me.” I broke down, tears streaming down my cheeks.

“Is that what this is all about? You think you’ve been preventing him from hating you?”

“That’s been my hope.” I grabbed my phone and dialed Josh’s number.

Alec sat and watched wide eyed, not saying a word, but his facial expression screamed to put the phone down.

Josh’s phone rang and rang until it went to his voice mail that instructed, “Hang up and text me.” He hated talking on the phone, unless he was on the road and it was me. Even then, he preferred a video call. That had likely changed. Surely it had. If not, he would hate me soon enough.

“Josh, please call me,” I begged. “Zac just texted me. I won’t let you give up your dreams, do you hear me? You’ve worked too hard for this. Please, don’t do this.” I hung up and stared at the phone.

“Natalie,” Alec said, carefully. “Have you ever stopped to consider the only way he will come to hate you is if you keep your distance from him?”

I slowly looked up from my phone. “I wish that were true. Excuse me—I have to go.”

Alec shook his head. “I don’t think you’re looking at this in a healthy light. Where are you going? Our hour isn’t up yet.”

I had this feeling Josh wasn’t going to call me back. He could be more stubborn than me. He was going to leave me no choice. “I’m going to LA.”

Alec’s jaw dropped.

---