Page 13 of Season of Mercy
She chuckled. "Maybe just for the things Stevie needs. I can finally..." She stopped without finishing the sentence.
"Why haven’t you let me you help you?" Ethan blurted out. Well, he’d paid some of Cole’s debts behind her back and had treated Mercy and Stevie to dinners after she’d become a widow. But he wished he’d done much more than that.
Mercy sighed. “Because I didn’t want to owe you, too. I had to stand on my own two feet. I didn’t want your pity. And... I guess I didn’t want you to tell meI told you so.”
For the second time that evening, Ethan held his tongue. He’d warned Mercy that Cole had been up to no good, but the warning had been based more on Ethan’s instincts rather than on facts. And he could’ve been biased because a large dosage of jealousy had been added to those instincts.
“I wouldn’t have pitied you. I always admired you. And you’d never owe me anything,” he said quietly.
Mercy reached for his hand, making his heartbeat speed up. “You’ve already done enough for me and Stevie. You took us out to dinner. You fixed my car for free. You bought Stevie gifts. And now you paid all his medical bills.”
“I don’t want you to suffer. I never wanted you to suffer.” He squeezed her fingers slightly.
She looked so pretty in the dim light of the lamp, her blonde curly hair slightly disheveled, her blue eyes having a spark he hadn’t noticed in them before. Even better, the imprint of despair was no longer in her eyes.
“You’re not going to ask how Cole racked up such huge debts?” She leaned closer to him. Her scent was a mixture of tomatoes, avocado, spices, and some flowers. Oh, yes, hyacinths.
Mercy’s scent, her closeness wreaked havoc on his senses. He longed to run his fingers through her long hair, to feel its silkiness.
Her eyes widened. “You know, right? You already knew he had a gambling issue.”
Ethan shrugged. “It’s a small town. And let’s say I made some inquiries.” He hoped she wouldn’t guess what he’d done after he’d learned the truth about Cole.
Mercy slid her hand out of his and pinned him with a stare. “You knew... And...” Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, no! You paid some of his debts.”
Ethan figured, as far as they’d already started this difficult conversation, he might as well ask. “Cole spent all the money he and you earned, was rarely at home, and wasn’t a good father to Stevie. Why didn’t you divorce him?”
Her eyes misted.
Ethan’s heart sank. Had he pushed her too far? Or... “Did you love him that much?” A shiver of fear ran down his back. “Do you... still?” He should’ve asked those questions before proposing to her.
“I loved Cole very much when we married. But that love took a heavy hit when he learned I was pregnant with Stevie. I thought he’d be as ecstatic as I was. Instead, he wanted me to have an abortion.”
“Oh, Mercy... That’s horrible.” Indignation at Cole warred with compassion for Mercy inside Ethan. He couldn’t even imagine Stevie not existing.
“Then Cole’s disappearances started, as well as angry outbursts, and my love was dying little by little.” Mercy sighed again. “See, love wasn’t the reason I stayed by his side all this time. First, it was hope Cole would change when he’d hold his son in his arms, or he’d see Stevie’s first smile, watch our child take the first step.” She paused.
That was Mercy, all right. An eternal optimist.
Admiration for her spread inside Ethan. He wanted to hug her, bring her close. But he was afraid to spook her and ruin the fragile connection between them.
She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling from unshed tears. “When Cole didn’t change and refused to get help, I wanted to leave many times. But I gave my vow. I believe in marriage until the very end.”
It took all Ethan’s willpower not to take her in his arms right then and there.
She reached for his hand and laced her fingers through his. “Thank you for being patient with me.”
“You’re worth it.” His heart shifted in his chest.
For several moments, they sat in silence, neither one saying a word. But even simply being in Mercy’s presence, her hand in his, was precious to him.
Her words gave Ethan hope she wouldn’t divorce him once the year was over. But he was a demanding man. He didn’t just want Mercy’s hand in marriage. He wanted her heart. And apparently, that heart hadn’t healed yet after Cole had stomped on it again and again.
In their teenage years, Ethan had been so used to always having Mercy by his side that he’d taken her for granted. He hadn’t noticed how an ugly duckling had become a swan, an awkward teenager had turned into an attractive young woman, until somebody else had.
Then it had been too late to change anything. He’d had to endure Mercy talking about dates with Cole, about their first embrace, first kiss when all Ethan had wanted was to be in the other man’s place. At least, thankfully, he’d known that Mercy wanted to wait until marriage.
Still, the fire of jealousy had consumed Ethan then. The only way to douse that fire had been to date other girls. But he couldn’t find another Mercy.
