Page 40 of All He Takes
With that, she left the hotel room.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The sky had cleared, revealing a brilliant moon, as Nicky crossed the motel parking lot, her hands in her pockets. She needed to clear her head, empty all of these thoughts, but she wasn't sure how.
There were too many things happening in her mind. It was like she was in overdrive, and her CPU was about to burn out. Worries about the case, about not finding the killer, the lack of clues, and, of course, Rosie. Always lurking in her mind, distracting her sometimes.
Nicky sighed as she walked aimlessly. If she could clear her head, maybe she could get a blank slate to work off. But it seemed like an impossible task.
Nicky was so lost in thought that she didn't pay attention to where she was going. Her mind was just spinning with possibilities, ideas, and plans. Her feet carried her forward, walking her past the highway and into the woods.
Nicky looked up. The trees were tall and spindly, the branches making it seem like the stars were further away. Nicky could see the narrow road curving off, but there were no cars driving on it.
She was alone, and she needed a break.
A chill went down her spine, sending shivers up her arms. The woods were quiet tonight, not a single noise from a bird or an animal. It was dark, oppressive, and she never felt like she was safe within the trees, not after what had happened when she was younger.
Turning away from the trees, she made her way back over to the motel parking lot, no closer to clearing her mind.
Normally, in a time like this, Nicky would be able to call her psychiatrist, Dr. Graham. It had been a while since she'd seen him; she had been focusing on her cases, and her own healing, but giving little time to care for her own mental health. It was late, almost midnight, but she wondered if Dr. Graham might be around to talk. She took out her phone and tried his number.
"Hello," Dr. Graham said. He sounded tired.
"Dr. Graham, it's Nicky," Nicky said. "I know it's late, but I'm having trouble coping. I just need to talk."
"Nicky? I haven't heard from you in a while--you know I'm always here to take your calls. How are you holding up?"
Dr. Graham asked.
"Well, I guess I'm having a rough time of it," she said. "I'm working on a case that I just can't seem to get a handle on. I'm having trouble thinking straight about it."
"You need to step back from the case," Dr. Graham said. "Take a break, clear your mind."
"I know, I know, I've tried that, but when I close my eyes, all I see is another girl, another victim."
"I know it's hard, but you need to focus on your own self-care. You can't help anyone until you're able to help yourself," Dr. Graham said. "Don't get me wrong, I know you want to save these girls, but you can't do anything if you're not healthy yourself. There's nothing worse than helping someone when you're unstable."
"I know, I know. I'm just having a hard time with it," Nicky said. She was thankful to have Dr. Graham to talk to. He always understood her and her worries, and there was something about his voice that was soothing. "I'm just not sure what to do. I've tried everything."
"Well, I know you won't divulge much about your case to me, Nicky," he said. "But I know you. Sometimes, when you're not on the right track, it's because you've focused too much on one thing and missed details. Maybe the clue has been right in front of you all along, and you just need to look at it from another angle."
"I know what you're saying, but I feel like I've already tried that," Nicky said. "I'm open to suggestions, I just don't know what to do."
"Then try not to focus too much on one thing. Try to look at the big picture... who are you really hunting?"
Nicky stopped to think about it. Maybe Dr. Graham could help her sort out a profile of this guy.
"If I tell you a few things we know, do you think you can help me build a profile?" Nicky asked.
"Well, of course, I'd love to help if I can."
"Okay." She took a deep breath and paced, looking up at the night sky for a moment. "We have a man who takes vintage-style Polaroid photos of women he's killed and leaves them in antique stores for people to find. We've found three photos in antique stores, and more recently, he left a body outside of one with a photo as well."
"Wow," said Dr. Graham. "That's no small feat. But this can say a lot about him. It sounds like it's art to him... you might be dealing with a narcissist, maybe a failed photographer or artist who believed their work deserved more praise, and this is their way of forcing people to acknowledge and see them."
The moment Dr. Graham spoke, it clicked for Nicky. That made perfect sense.
"It's sad, because that means he probably has low self-esteem, and he might be socially awkward, maybe even shy," Nicky said.
