Page 43 of Bed of Thorns

“It never came up.”

Sighing, she shook her head. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

“And you have no idea how fucked up I was for years. Not months, but years. There wasn’t a goddamn day that went by I didn’t try to beat the crap out of someone. Maybe that was because the assholes in that cell block tried to use me as their play toy,” I hissed, my chest heaving. “That ain’t me. I made certain they knew it. Yeah, some of them got it pretty good too.” The rage too intense, I stopped talking, snapping my head in the other direction, glaring at the ocean.

Goddamn it, my heart was pounding so hard, the feeling suffocating as fuck. The only sound was the ocean waters tumbling against the shore. I’d screwed with her head. I couldn’t imagine what she thought about me. Without looking at her, I continued. “After the third fucking time I was tossed into solitary, the fuckers who ran the prison figured I might need a shrink. Yeah, well, that didn’t last long. Neither did the two cellmates before Adam. They couldn’t stand my constant pacing or the hard punches I’d give the walls in the middle of the night.”

I threw her a quick look, expecting her expression to be one of horror. She had tears in her eyes, which burned me to the core.

“I’m so sorry, Edmond,” she whispered, her tone full of concern.

I slammed my fist on the railing, flexing then fisting my fingers. “It’s okay. Finally, the fuckers left me alone. Then Adam was assigned to me. Everybody thought they’d have a good laugh. An old man stuck with the likes of me. But he refused to take my bullshit and trust me, I gave him one hell of a ride for two months, but he was like a rock. Finally, I stopped railing at the wind and started listening to him.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“Yeah,” I snorted, realizing some of the crazy memories of that day weren’t so bad after all. “He’s an odd fellow, but maybe that’s why it worked between us. I knew he was still dangerous, but he never showed anything but kindness to me, albeit sometimes it was tough love. Anyway, I know you can’t understand, but he saved my life in there.”

“I’m glad and maybe one day I can thank him. So, you trust him without a doubt with regard to the money he’s loaning you.”

I turned toward her, staring into her eyes. “There’s no reason not to trust him. He didn’t have to do this. He offered. I don’t know the details and I wasn’t going to accept his generosity, but you can’t say no to a man like Adam. He has a way of making you believe in yourself; wanting to succeed, which I do.”

“Doesn’t it worry you at all that he has all this money but he’s behind bars?”

Her question was a legitimate one. “All I cared about was forging a new path. And getting to you.”

“Don’t be a fool, Edmond. If he didn’t tell you how he made his money or what he did, that means it could be from unsavory sources.”

Unsavory.

She was obviously trying to find the right word that would fit. I’d given it more than a couple of thoughts. I was no fool. I’d also heard the stupid gossip inside the blasted prison. It was worse than being in high school. Whether or not he was connected to some crime syndicate didn’t matter to me. This was the kind of offer a smart man wouldn’t refuse. “I’m going to pay him back with interest, Mercedes. I never intended to take his gift. Something so generous usually comes with strings and from here on out, no one gets a piece of me. No one.”

I watched as she brushed hair from her face, folding the long strands behind her ear. She looked so beautiful in my tee shirt. Unassuming. Innocent.

“Be careful, Edmond. The world isn’t always a nice place, no matter how much you want something or how hard you try and achieve a goal.”

I hated I always felt like there was a hidden meaning. “What are you worried about?”

“You mean other than the fact we could be getting in a middle of a terrible situation? Or that men with guns will arrive on our doorstep one day or maybe that you’ll be arrested for another crime that you didn’t know you were committing?” She finally looked into my eyes, the jabs gutting me. The haunting look she carried weighed on me tremendously. “What I’m most worried about is you losing yourself to this need you have for revenge. If you haven’t already done that already.” While her last sentence was whispered, I heard every word.

I needed to prove myself, not only to her but to myself.

What the hell was I supposed to say? I had no idea. So, I didn’t, allowing the conversation to fester in the back of my mind.

Mercedes wrapped her arm around her legs, pulling them tighter. As she eased the mug onto the small table, she rolled the tip of her finger around the edge, deep in thought. “Maybe I could paint,” she said after a full minute had passed.

My heart continued to ache, but she’d learn in time that everything was going to be okay. At least I could smile. “The painting you did was amazing.”

“You saw that?”

“How could I not stand and stare? You’re talented.”

“Drawing pictures was a way to keep me sane during high school.”

“You could have been an artist.”

She laughed, the sound bitter. “I don’t think so. Besides, it was decided I get a business degree, which I did, although I minored in criminal justice.”

I noticed she flitted her gaze toward me, half smiling. “Painting suits you. I’ll make that happen.”

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