Page 58 of Paradise Pride

“I am now, aren’t I?” Meghan took a sip of her wine. “I realised I wasn’t the person I thought I was, and that wasn’t easy. I had to figure out who I was first.”

“And? Have you?”

Meghan shrugged. “All I know is that I can’t imagine dating men again. And that I miss Florence and want her in my life. I don’t think anything else matters.”

“Then why are you so sad when you talk about her?”

“Because I left her hanging. I couldn’t make any promises or commit in any way, and that hurt her. She also thought I felt ashamed to be seen with her.” Meghan paused. “She was right. I wasn’t ready to be open. Not then.”

“What about Tiger?”

“He was my excuse whenever I went to see Florence—his idea. He’s a lovely guy. We’re still in contact.”

Kim let go of her and sat back. “Thank you for telling me everything,” she said. “I’m not going to lie. I didn’t expect any of this. Obviously, I couldn’t have known about the Paris incident, but I should have sensed you were seriously into Florence. I should have tried to talk to you instead of making fun of the situation. You were acting differently, and I didn’t pick up on that because I was too busy with my own stuff.”

“You got engaged. That’s not just stuff.” Meghan met her eyes. “Are you still angry with me?”

“No.” Kim shook her head. “Of course not.” She frowned. “So, are you and Florence speaking?”

“I haven’t spoken to her since I left Spain. She’s probably moved on.”

“Or she might feel the same. Why don’t you call her? Tell her you miss her. Or get on a flight to Spain.”

“She’s coming to London next week,” Meghan said, her heart racing at the idea of Florence being close again. “She works here in the winter.”

“Even better.” Kim slapped a hand on her thigh. “Make a statement and invite her to your birthday.”

“My birthday? With all my friends and family here? My colleagues?” Meghan stared at her. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not? Are you ashamed?”

“No… I’m not ashamed, but if I invite her, everyone will know.”

“So?”

Meghan thought about that. If this was her life now, if she really was gay, she couldn’t keep it to herself forever. The idea of telling everyone close to her had seemed absurd this morning, but she felt so much lighter after telling Kim, and it wasn’t unthinkable anymore.

“Are you shocked?” she asked. “To hear that I’m gay?”

“Honestly, yes. I never saw you that way, but I’m also glad you figured this out, and I really hope it works out for you,” Kim said earnestly. “And this is London. It’s not a big deal to be gay.” She pointed to Meghan’s phone. “Look, I don’t want to pressure you. This is your process, and I understand you need to do it your own way, in your own time. But I need you to know that you’re making this bigger than it is in your head. No one is going to judge you, and nothing needs to change apart from one thing. You’ll be so much happier.”

58

Florence

Florence stopped what she was doing and stared at her phone when she saw Meghan’s name pop up. She stood there, glued to the floor, and couldn’t seem to move her hand to pick it up. Five weeks had passed, and although getting up in the mornings had become easier, she still felt down and couldn’t understand how a holiday romance had messed her up so badly. If she checked the message, she might fall back into that black hole she’d found herself in when Meghan first left. All she wanted was to forget about her, and if they were in contact, that would only make it harder.Don’t look.That was a ridiculous thought. Of course she would look. The only way to avoid that was if someone snatched her phone away and threw it under a bus.

Finally dropping the T-shirt she was folding into her suitcase, she sat down and opened the message.

Hey, Florence. I’m sorry. I know it might be unfair of me to contact you. Maybe this is as difficult for you as it is for me, or maybe you’ve moved on. But I want you to know that I miss you even more than I feared I would. I’m celebrating my birthday in London next week. I’d love it if you came, even if it’s just as a friend. I told Kim about you. Hope you’re okay. Meghan x

“I’m not okay,” Florence mumbled with a frown, mildly irritated at the warm glow that spread through her body. It felt wonderful, but that could only mean one thing: trouble. She resisted the urge to jump at Meghan’s invitation because if she’d learned one thing from this experience, it was to stop throwing herself in at the deep end. She had a good idea of what was going on here; Meghan felt guilty, and she wanted to wash away that guilt by going back to being friends. It was the easy and lazy way out; Florence had done it herself a few times.

Thank you for your message. I’m okay.I’m glad you told Kim. That can’t have been easy, and I’m proud of you.But I can’t come to your birthday. Maybe one day we can be friends.

She waited and waited, then cursed herself for staring at her phone and flung it across her bed. What was she expecting? For Meghan to beg her after she’d turned down her invitation? And why the hell had she done that? Even though Florence knew it was a terrible idea, she desperately wanted to see her again.

Damn it.

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