Page 112 of Whispers of You
I shrugged. “I’m all about protecting my peace these days.”
A hardness slid into Amber’s gaze, and she moved so fast I didn’t have a chance to brace. She shoved me hard, pushing me inside the house, then pulling a gun and leveling it at my chest. “You know what, Wren? I don’t really give a damn about your peace.”
The gun swung out in a flash, cracking across my temple and sending me hurtling into the dark.
39
HOLT
Shadow shovedher head out the window as Nash guided his SUV up the mountain roads. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth, and she let out a bark.
“I think someone’s happy,” my dad said.
I turned in the back seat, taking Shadow and giving her a rub. “It’s good for her to get out a little more. Wren had someone walking her in the middle of her shifts, but Shadow has a lot of energy.”
Dad surveyed me from the front passenger seat. “You and Wren are getting into a rhythm.”
It wasn’t a question, but it held a gentle probe. My hackles didn’t rise like they would’ve just days ago. What I had told Wren was true—I loved that she’d had my family for all the years I wasn’t here and that they were protective of her. That they’d developed a true closeness.
“It’s going to take time, but we’re getting there.”
He nodded but didn’t look away. “I’m sorry if how I acted when you came home made you feel like I didn’t believe in you. I love both of you, and there’s nothing I want more than seeing you happy.”
Instead of hiding behind a mask of indifference, I kept my walls down. I let my dad see everything I normally hid with practiced ease. I let the regret and grief rise to the surface. The pain and self-torture. “I love her, Dad. I never stopped. I really did think I was doing the right thing.”
He twisted farther in his seat. “I know that, Holt. I never thought you left for selfish reasons. But relationships are hard. They’re work. You have to stick it out even when it seems like running would be easier on everyone.”
A muscle flickered in my jaw.
“He’s not running, Dad,” Nash said from the driver’s seat. “He needed time to get his head on straight. Living without Wren has taught him more than any of your lectures ever could.”
I studied my brother. He was typically so easygoing, but there was a tension in him now: the way his knuckles bleached white around the wheel, the way his jaw locked tight. And something in his expression said that he knew about regret all too well.
“He’s right.” I looked at Dad. “I get that you might have reservations. But they aren’t going to stop me. I know the agony of living without Wren, of falling asleep thinking about her every night. Of wondering where she is and if she’s safe. Happy. Of imagining her falling in love with someone who isn’t me. Starting a family.”
The brutal pain of all those nights ripped through me. Wren and I had loved dreaming about our future. Thinking up names for our kids. She’d wanted to meet each of them before settling on one becausetheir little personalities would shine through. We’d loved drawing up plans for our home. She’d demanded a front porch and swing that could be a couch or bed. Coming up with traditions that would be ours alone: Wren wanted a scavenger hunt for every Easter, and heart-shaped pancakes on Valentine’s Day. Every night at dinner we would share our highs and lows.
My dad’s face paled. “Holt—”
I held up a hand. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I just need you to understand. There’s no torture I wouldn’t live through for her. Because even in that, I thought it was right.”
“But now you know it isn’t,” he said quietly.
“I stole Wren’s choice from her. Not just that, I took her voice. I’ll hate myself for it for the rest of my days, but I’ll never do it again. Wren is the strongest woman I’ve ever known. And for some reason, she loves me.”
“Probably took a hard hit to the head as a baby. It scrambled her good sense,” Nash muttered.
I grinned, smacking the back of his head. “I think you were dropped on the head as a baby.”
“I know he was,” Dad shot back.
Nash scowled at him. “Rude.”
A little of the grin slipped from my face as I met Dad’s gaze. “I’m never leaving. Not unless she asks me to. And even then, I’d never go far. She has my heart. My soul. Everything that’s good in me. She’s where I feel peace.”
Dad’s eyes shone with unshed tears. “That’s all I could ever hope to hear. All I could want for her. All I could want foryou.”
I felt the raw truth in his words. And I didn’t blame him for the doubt he’d had. Or for wanting to protect Wren—and me. My need to shield the people I cared about had come from my dad. He’d ingrained it in all his kids without even meaning to.
