Page 56 of Whispers of You
He stepped into the break room, and I fought the urge to flee. “Meeting Lawson for a sparring session, but I was hoping we could talk. Do you have a minute?”
I wondered if I could chug the coffee first. I needed all my synapses firing at full speed for a conversation with Holt. “I’ve got five minutes left on my break.”
He nodded and shut the door behind him.
The room suddenly felt too small—as if the walls were closing in around me and making it hard to breathe. And even though Holt was still feet away, I swore I smelled that blend of pine and spice. Either that or I was having some sort of scent hallucinations now.
Holt twisted his keys around his finger. “I’m sorry I steamrolled you this morning. I’m used to coming into a problem and having people expect me to fix it.”
“I’m not a problem,” I gritted out.
His eyes flashed. “No, but someone creeping around your place is. I’ve worked more stalking cases than I can count. I just wanted to help. But, instead, I was overbearing and rude. I’m sorry.”
What was I supposed to say to that? It was hard to hold onto my mad when Holt was being all reasonable. “Thanks.”
He gripped the keys tighter. “I would like to help if you’d be comfortable with it.”
“Holt, it’s a bad idea.”
“Cricket, there’s nothing I can do that will fix the past. There’s not much I have to givenow. But I can give this. It’s what I do, and I’m damn good at it.”
The sincerity and the deep pain beneath it were too much. I felt those danged walls I’d constructed to keep Holt at a distance crumbling. “No motion detectors, and no cameras inside the house.”
A grin stretched across his face. “I can work with that.”
“And we need to talk price. It has to be affordable. We come up with a budget before you order anything.”
“Totally fair. My friend owns the company I use for alarm components, so he’ll get us a good deal.”
I arched a brow. “Is this company good?”
“Halo security systems are the best in the business. You know I wouldn’t put anything less in your house.”
I did know, damn it. And I’d also seen that name before on homes and businesses. “Okay. Let me crunch some numbers, and I’ll figure out what I can afford.”
Holt’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Thanks for letting me do this. For trusting me with it.”
There was that dangerous T-word. Did ItrustHolt? With my life? Yes. Without hesitation. With my traitorous heart? Never again.
“Sure. I need to get back.”
A little of the smile slipped from Holt’s face. “Of course. Just text me when you have a budget.”
I still had Holt’s number in my phone. I’d never managed to work up the courage to delete it as if some part of me were still holding onto hope that it would flash on my phone someday.
I forced the memories from my mind and nodded, slipping around him and out the door. I maneuvered through a scattering of desks until I got to the dispatch corner. Abel’s gaze lifted to me, surveying. “You okay?”
“Right as rain.”
He grunted. “That boy looks like you just stole his last cookie.”
I couldn’t help taking a quick glance over my shoulder. Holt’s focus was zeroed in on me, his thumb skating back and forth under his bottom lip. The move was so familiar it lit an ache in the deepest parts of me. Igniting a wish that things could be different. That I could erase the last ten years somehow and change that day and everything that followed.
I jerked my gaze back to my computer. “Definitely wasn’t me.”
Abel snorted. “Whatever you say.”
The phone rang, and I hurried to slip my headset on. “Cedar Ridge police, fire, and medical. What’s your emergency?”
